24/07/2025
One of the skills we need to learn and continue to refine, as therapists with our clients, or simply in our personal lives, is that of identifying our own inner narrative and treating this as being separate and distinct from that of other people. It isn't that we cease entirely to have an inner narrative, but that we learn to set our own aside in our interactions with others and listen to what we are being told by them, either in words or in body language. It's often as important to hear what is not said as it is to hear what the other is sharing.
In our relationships, this is often where meaningful communication falls down, with each individual immersed in their own story, and unable to hear the other. Interactions become a battleground, with each determined to make their point, allocate responsibility or blame, and to exonerate their own part in the dynamic. It can be difficult to recognise and accept that in any relationship, we are equally responsible for arising situations and their outcomes. But we can change, if both individuals together decide that they are going to break their ingrained cycles of behaviour and truly work together to repair or build the relationship.
With thanks for the image: nick-fewings-mki48azlI2k-unsplash
