Sarah Can Help

16/05/2023

10/05/2023

Thinking of all of you with kids taking SATS this week

Dear Students,

Exams do not measure your intelligence, your worth or even your learning.
They measure your ability to digest and re-share information (often asked in trick-speak to test the way your brain processes), in tense conditions, under pressure.
We can’t all do that.
Doesn’t mean you didn’t pay attention, study hard or try your best.
Chances are you would be able to answer correctly on the same subjects in a relaxed environment with straight-shooting questions.

I did well in my exams because my brain works copy/paste style, I remember NONE OF IT now. Absolutely none. In one day, gone the next.

The system is flawed, it can’t be helped right now but it will catch up and one day there will be no ‘one size fits all’ situation.

Until then, remember, do your best because that energy somehow matters. It’s unexplainable but your care really counts. When that care turns into anxiety or self-worth-harming judgement, it’s gone too far.

It’s just paperwork.
And life is so much more.
You are so much more.

Donna Ashworth

05/05/2023

I always find Dr Markham's wise advice really helpful. Sometimes in the moment we are at a loss of what to say to our child to help them. Try some of these.

Also in this issue: Supporting Your Child To Play Independently... Moving? 10 Tips To Help Your Child Adjust... ...Don't Worry. Be Happy!

28/04/2023

It’s also ok to not know. People who look like they do might also be unsure on the inside. Parenting can often feel like others are doing it better or they got some kind of memo about how to do it but I meet so many lovely parents who are all doing their best, even on days where you think you didn’t - the fact that you think about it and you keep showing up speaks volumes to your child.

Some days are harder than others, but don’t worry, you’ll get through it!

27/04/2023

Lots of folk struggling - know you are not alone

Youve got this!!!

10/04/2023

15/12/2022

An advent for your mind: your daily no pressure Christmas toolkit.

Day 15: hold on to the balloons you can control

(This image is adapted from my first book ‘A Toolkit for Modern Life’)

Our brains like certainty and they naturally plan and prepare to create more certainty.
However somewhat ironically our Brain can be drawn to the things it can’t control as it attempts to create more certainty. Our brain may be naturally drawn to these things as they create anxiety or worry, and It feels like focusing on these things is helpful as it’s following it’s age old pattern of planning for uncertainty. Don’t blame your brain- it’s trying to help. But actually when things are uncertain or out of our control, spending time in the futile search for certainty or an answer just gets us into more of a pickle and creates greater anxiety.

We only have limited brain space and our limited resources are best directed at what we can control. By identifying what is and what isn’t in your control, You can recognise where your brain is directing your thoughts and help it by shifting it’s focus to what you can do, those things in your control.

So what balloons can you control that are worth keeping hold of and you can focus your brain space and energy on? And what balloons can you acknowledge and let go of?

These might be Christmas balloons but you can of course do this exercise at any time of year. It can be particularly helpful when your brain feels muddles to capture your thoughts to help you determine where you can focus and what you can do.

05/12/2022

So lovely to get a kind testimonial from a parent I worked with recently:

'We were struggling to understand our 10 year old sons behaviour and emotional outbursts. Temper tantrums, anger, tears and dramatic over reactions had taken hold and impacted our home daily. When we first met Sarah I instantly felt at ease. Her calming, non judgemental and nurturing approach made me feel listened to and understood. She helped me see that we could work together to make life better for our whole family. My son instantly warmed to her and would wake up excited on 'Sarah days'. He opened up to her, and she gave him a safe space and a chance to be heard. Her work with both us and our son has given us the tools we needed to reset. I felt a weight lifted as soon as we started working with her. It's been a tough journey, and we've needed to work hard to implement the techniques she's shown us, but I have learned so much about parenting and my son individually through her work. Our relationship with him is stronger than ever, and we have a new found connection to understand his emotions and be well placed to handle them more effectively. Our house is a calmer place, our son is a happier boy and I couldn't thank Sarah enough. When things feel tough managing behaviour and emotions of your child, with little hope of being able to make a change, I'd urge you to reach out, and when you do... Reach for Sarah!'