Counselling with Lucianne

Counselling with Lucianne Integrative counsellor specialising in compassion focussed therapy for sexual trauma.

I have extensive experience with victims of sexual trauma, victims of incest and victims of interpersonal and relational trauma such as enmeshment/emotional abuse. I help clients find personal autonomy and empowerment to take control of their lives following abuse. I've also worked closely with individuals and couples wanting to develop a healthy sexuality following porn addiction, Sex Addiction a

nd infidelity. I understand the problems I cover are very sensitive which is why compassion-focussed therapy is at the centre of everything I do, helping the client build a healthy and compassionate view of themselves throughout therapy. I am an integrative counsellor, using whatever therapies I feel will help a client to overcome their problems. I am greatly informed by Compassion Focussed therapy, looking very much at the relationship the client has with compassion and with themselves. I also use psychoeducation to help clients understand their diagnoses' and difficulties. I understand that coming for therapy is a daunting and often scary experience. I offer a very personal (free) initial consultation, where we will spend time getting to know each other and creating a safe space where we can begin to build the therapeutic relationship. I like work with my clients on a level where the client can feel empowered and in charge.

Wondering why you get stuck in an anger/shame cycle with your avoidant partner? Feel crazy for shouting, desperately dem...
23/05/2025

Wondering why you get stuck in an anger/shame cycle with your avoidant partner? Feel crazy for shouting, desperately demanding them to engage, slamming doors and experiencing distress whilst they remain detached and shut down?

Here's why it's a completely understandable response, and why you deserve a relationship where your distress is met with care, not silence!

________________________________________

đŸ’„ Why disconnection feels like danger
When you are emotionally distressed — overwhelmed, hurt, scared, or vulnerable — your brain is scanning for safety signals from the people closest to you. In healthy relationships, this would be:

eye contact
soft tone of voice
empathy
physical presence
validation
These cues tell your nervous system: “I’m not alone. I’m safe.”

But when the person you're attached to goes cold, looks away, shuts down, or avoids you — your brain doesn't register it as "neutral" — it registers it as danger.

This is especially true if you’ve experienced:

Emotional neglect in childhood
Inconsistent caregivers
Trauma bonds
Any form of abandonment (emotional or physical)
Your brain thinks:

“The person I depend on is gone in the moment I need them most — I am not safe.”
So, it panics. And the volume goes up.

đŸ”„ Fight response as a survival instinct
When you shout, slam doors, or lash out verbally, it’s not because you’re "just angry." It’s a fight for connection and emotional survival.

You may be trying to:

Snap him out of shutdown
Get him to look at you
Demand some kind of response
Prove to yourself that you still exist to him
Because his withdrawal feels like emotional erasure. Like you’re screaming into a void.

And for someone with betrayal trauma or abandonment wounds, that can feel more threatening than an argument.
🧠 The neurobiology of this
The amygdala (your brain’s threat detector) gets activated when you feel disconnected and unsafe.
The prefrontal cortex (responsible for logic and calm communication) starts to go offline.
Your body shifts into survival mode, releasing adrenaline and cortisol.
The urge to do something — anything — to force a connection takes over.
This is not "drama." It’s your nervous system trying to survive.

💔 Why this happens more in emotionally avoidant dynamics
When your partner:

Numbs out
Stares blankly
Says “I don’t know” to everything
Acts like nothing is wrong

your brain knows something is wrong, but it gets no confirmation or clarity — so it panics harder.
That kind of emotional abandonment can be more distressing than overt conflict, especially when it’s chronic.

contact me for support breaking the cycle with your avoidant partner and start fostering safety within yourself - Lucianne xx

"Back in balance" - NOW TAKING BOOKINGS FOR JUNE :-)I have just finished my training in massage, I wanted to do this as ...
03/05/2025

"Back in balance" - NOW TAKING BOOKINGS FOR JUNE :-)

I have just finished my training in massage, I wanted to do this as a tool to add to my therapy/yoga belt for those with chronic pain due to emotional stress. I went for my first massage for this very reason a few years ago, but unfortunately I was s*xually violated by the masseur, yes, even after specifically disclosing to him that I would struggle with relaxing to touch because of a history of s*xual violence. For this very reason I have decided to adopt a trauma-informed approach, to take care of people in the best way I can during treatment and ensure they are completely comfortable.

(I am happy to disclose the name of this person should anyone ask me personally, to protect them from a similar experience as unfortunately, he is still in business.)

On that note - should you be looking for a sports massage or an amazing deep tissue I would highly recommend my friend Mac Robinson :-)

Anyway...

If you are struggling with PTSD, CPTSD, ADHD, Fibromyalgia, chronic stress or FND, here's a few reasons massage could help you:

Massage can be a surprisingly powerful tool in supporting people with PTSD, especially when used alongside therapy. While it’s not a cure, it can help regulate the body’s stress response and support healing. Here’s how massage can help:

🧠 1. **Regulates the Nervous System**

PTSD often keeps the body stuck in “fight or flight” mode. Massage can help shift the nervous system into a calmer, “rest and digest” state by stimulating the **parasympathetic nervous system**, helping you feel safer and more grounded.

đŸȘ¶ 2. **Releases Stored Tension and Trauma**

Trauma can live in the body as chronic tension—especially in areas like the neck, shoulders, jaw, and hips. Gentle, trauma-informed massage helps release this tension, sometimes even helping people become more aware of emotions stored physically.

💗 3. **Rebuilds a Positive Relationship with Touch**

For those who’ve experienced trauma involving the body, especially s*xual trauma, safe, respectful touch can slowly begin to **re-establish trust** in physical contact—*only* when you’re ready and with the right therapist. The key is that you stay in control the entire time.

đŸŒŹïž 4. **Improves Sleep and Lowers Anxiety**

Massage increases serotonin and dopamine and decreases cortisol (the stress hormone), which can lead to better sleep, fewer nightmares, and a decrease in general anxiety levels—common symptoms of PTSD.

đŸ›Ąïž 5. **Promotes Mind-Body Connection**

Trauma can make people feel disconnected from their own bodies. Massage brings gentle awareness back to physical sensations in a safe way, which can be deeply healing. It can help you feel more present in your body, and more in control of it.

⚠ Important Notes:

* **Trauma-informed massage** is essential—this means the practitioner is trained to understand trauma responses and will prioritize your consent, safety, and control.
* You should **never feel pressured or touched in a way that makes you uncomfortable**.
* Start small: Even something as simple as **reflexology, hand massage, or head massage** can be soothing without feeling overwhelming.

Want to take part in psychological research into social media and the potential impact on our mental wellbeing? We are l...
15/02/2025

Want to take part in psychological research into social media and the potential impact on our mental wellbeing?
We are looking for participants to take part in a psychological study investigating social media use and self-compassion.
You can help shape our understanding of social media platforms and how they affect us.
Please follow the link to take part:
https://openss.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2374N213QVgDOv4

Happy new year! Amongst all the perfect family Christmas photos (which we forgot to take) thought I’d share with youA pe...
03/01/2025

Happy new year! Amongst all the perfect family Christmas photos (which we forgot to take) thought I’d share with you

A perfect picture of an imperfect walk with a baby who was happy on the way up and raging on the way down đŸ€Ł and shat on my hand when we got back to the car.

an imperfect marriage containing one regularly grumpy and forgetful wife who loves a heated debate at the moment her husband needs to do something else - and a half deaf and very indecisive husband who’s default topic of conversation is “what do you fancy for dinner then?”😅

Combined to make two less than perfect parents who often fail miserably at creating the nourishing and wholesome environment that they dream about but equally are both completely dedicated to all the kids - even though there are times we probably both want to go and live in a cave just for the peace.

So, I think these are the good old days but we’re too tired to see it most of the time 😂 everything I thought was important a couple of years ago seems ridiculous now. Why did I do yoga on a rock or some snow just for instagram?😅

I think 8 months of no sleep and 5 peoples laundry certainly makes you grateful for the little moments of bliss. That can come from a sunset but it can also come from a simple look of love and understanding when you’re on the edge of a mental breakdown in your dressing down because you can’t find your other slipper.

It’s in the moments in which you feel less than perfect but you’re appreciated just the same that intimacy builds. Surface level is easy to replace, theres an insurmountable number of people on tinder. What you can’t replace is the experience of being loved when you feel unloveable, wanted when you feel far from the medias version of s*xy, held when you feel vulnerable and above all being able to create that experience for the other.

So no, we didn’t really have a picture perfect family Christmas. But somehow we’re more in love!

Did you know that p**n addiction damages our dopamine receptors in a very similar way that co***ne or other drugs of abu...
21/11/2024

Did you know that p**n addiction damages our dopamine receptors in a very similar way that co***ne or other drugs of abuse would?

With the easy access to all types of p**nography content now so ready available on the internet, we have seen an surge in s*xual addictions and even s*xual crimes.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a s*xual addiction and you are ready to take steps toward recovery, contact me today.

16/11/2024

A Poem about the s*x industry by Lucianne Thomas

S*x sells, but

Imagine if s*x didn’t sell

Imagine what sold was images of kindness, compassion

Imagine if the women stopped stripping off
and in turn we stopped stripping s*x
of its connection and intimacy

Imagine if we stopped trying ‘bondage’
and instead we started bonding
Because now more than ever - boys are making hate to girls
instead of love.

We think we are “woke”
But in world where we say ,
The internet says it’s ‘hot' to exploit and violate

P**n is an industry that should be destroyed

but instead we perpetuate!
P**nhub - The most visited website in the world
holds titles that would make a mothers heart break

Please tell me when we will stop doing this for the mens sake?
All for a few moments of pleasure in a tissue

we’ve created an addiction, a public health issue

So imagine if s*x didn’t sell
Imagine if what sold was the invitation to put down your phone and
hug your children, your husband or wife
If what sold was actually living your life


But now ‘teen’ is the most searched for phrase in p**n

Do you think these men looked at their new baby daughter when she was born
and thought “one day I’ll watch a video depicting in**st. because I have an addiction!”
Please don’t deny you can see the affliction?

Imagine if s*x didn’t sell
Imagine if what sold was teenage girls being allowed to
choose who they will become
Not having to worry that they’ll be invisible
if they don’t have a “good bum”

Imagine all the time they could spend
Not worrying about their eyebrows or fashion trends
And being allowed to exist, to explore, to create
To become a WOMAN and not a playmate.

Imagine if s*x didn’t sell
Imagine if what sold
Was just being okay with becoming old!
It’s a fu***ng luxury!
But media treat it as if it’s drudgery.

Imagine NOT buying the next collagen cream
Or adopting an hour long skincare routine
Or making sure that you’re still in line
With the beauty standards - which becomes more impossible all the time
Cant we show our daughters that it’s really okay
To become an old lady, to grow old one day?
To let them see all the other ways they can be great
That doesn’t revolve ‘round their age, or their weight?

Or imagine if s*x did sell
But it was shown as connection, as closeness, as loving - instead of objectification and ‘fu***ng’?
Perhaps we would have healthier relationships and marriages,
and learn how to love in a society that damages

Perhaps we would see a new generation
Where Kim Kardashian was not an inspiration
Maybe we’d start to see it all differently
And we’d end the 50 billion plastic surgery industry

Perhaps we would give hope to a new way of life
Where trafficking and r**e is no longer rife
Where boys ask girls not ‘what are you wearing’ but ‘whats on your mind?’
And girls fall for boys who are loving and kind

It seems a long shot but we can all start today
By NOT feeding the industry in every way
Girls - you don’t need to look like a p**n star!
Wouldn’t you rather be loved how you are?

My books are now open to new clients online now - or in person from next year. You can contact me on Facebook, email or ...
09/11/2024

My books are now open to new clients online now - or in person from next year. You can contact me on Facebook, email or my phone number (WhatsApp preferrably) to book a free consultation. :)

A really cute and easy to read infographic showing some of the lesser known hyperactive ADHD behaviours shared from tumb...
09/11/2024

A really cute and easy to read infographic showing some of the lesser known hyperactive ADHD behaviours shared from tumblr.

Sometimes nothing beats going for a walk in nature to boost your mental health
19/05/2023

Sometimes nothing beats going for a walk in nature to boost your mental health

Drop in and to our neighbourhood mental health cafe if you need urgent support with your mental health, Our friendly tea...
17/05/2023

Drop in and to our neighbourhood mental health cafe if you need urgent support with your mental health,

Our friendly team are here to support, advise and offer coping skills to prevent a mental health crisis.

Opening times are

Monday 2-6pm

Wednesday 10-2pm

Friday 6-10pm

Please report to our reception upon arrival to MRC.

29/04/2023

This month we’re in the Community Voice magazine: going out across Coalville, Hugglescote & Donnington le Heath.

If you think you may need help or assistance with Trauma symptoms, PTSD etc and you think Compassion Focused Therapy would benefit you then we’d be happy to talk to you in a free 30 min consultation about the service.

Thanks
The Inner Movement CIC

Address

Thringstone

Telephone

+447305779238

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