Shelley Bradley-Scholey Fortitude Psychological Therapy

Shelley Bradley-Scholey Fortitude Psychological Therapy Shelley Bradley-Scholey | Trauma Expert | Therapy | Therapist | Clinical Supervision | Workshops & Events | Speaker | Author

You will never hear me tell clients to “think positively” after trauma.Not because optimism is bad, but because people t...
08/01/2026

You will never hear me tell clients to “think positively” after trauma.

Not because optimism is bad, but because people tell me that it can feel like:

• denying their lived experience
• minimising what happened
• or trying to mentally override a nervous system in survival mode

After trauma, beliefs don’t come from mindset, they come from repeated experiences of threat, rejection, or neglect.

The brain forms snap, protective assumptions like:

“I’m not safe.”
“People can’t be trusted.”
“It’s my fault.”

Those beliefs once helped you stay alert, which is why they feel deeply convincing.

Healing isn’t forcing yourself to think the opposite.

It’s slowly teaching the brain something new:

“I understand why I learnt this…
and I’m learning something kinder now.”

That process is grounded in compassion, pacing, safety, and neuroplasticity, not pressure to be positive.

If this resonates, you’re not “negative.”

You’re recovering from experiences that shaped your inner world. And that can be rewritten, gently, over time.

Want to learn more about my upcoming free trauma webinar? Comment MASTERCLASS to get on my list and be among the first to receive all the details!

A big part of recovering from trauma is the beliefs that settle in afterwards.Thoughts like:“I’m too much.”“People will ...
05/01/2026

A big part of recovering from trauma is the beliefs that settle in afterwards.

Thoughts like:

“I’m too much.”
“People will leave if I say how I feel.”
“I should be coping better than this.”
“I’m the problem.”

We automatically assume these are facts, because of how they feel!

When the brain has lived through threat, rejection, criticism, or emotional neglect, it learns to make snap, safety-based assumptions:

If I blame myself → I stay alert.
If I expect rejection → I won’t be caught off-guard.
If I don’t need anything → I can’t be disappointed.

Over time, those survival beliefs become so familiar that they feel true, even when life has changed.

Here’s the gentle reframe:

Your thoughts are not facts. They are old survival strategies, not present-day reality.

And the fact they feel convincing says more about the enormity of what you went through than who you are.

If this resonates, my upcoming free trauma webinar might be just what you need. You’re not broken. You’re hearing old narratives and it can be rewired.

Comment MASTERCLASS to get on my list and be among the first to receive all the details!

As the year winds down, many people slip into extreme thinking.You might find yourself in either an avoidance spiral or ...
31/12/2025

As the year winds down, many people slip into extreme thinking.

You might find yourself in either an avoidance spiral or an overhaul my entire life mindset.

You’re probably exhausted.
The year has taken more than you expected.
So you tell yourself, “I’ll deal with it after Christmas.” and “In January, I’ll fix everything.”

BUT

Your plans to fix everything quickly feel overwhelming and lets be honest, just because its January that doesn’t mean everything has suddenly changed.

If you notice this pattern right now, try asking yourself:

“what do I want less of in 2026?”
“what small step can I take to move me toward that?”

You don’t need a big reset.
You don’t need to reinvent yourself in January.

Sometimes the most healing thing is one small, doable step, taken with compassion, not pressure.

If this resonates, my upcoming free trauma webinar might be just what you need. Comment MASTERCLASS to get on my list and be among the first to receive all the details!

Emotional neglect rarely looks dramatic from the outside.There are no single catastrophic “events” to point to.Instead, ...
29/12/2025

Emotional neglect rarely looks dramatic from the outside.

There are no single catastrophic “events” to point to.

Instead, it shows up quietly, and impacts the here and now in the way you speak to yourself.

Many people I work with say things like:

“I don’t know why I’m like this.”
“I should be over this by now.”
“Nothing that bad happened.”

But emotional neglect isn’t about what happened.

It’s about what didn’t happen.
Not being comforted.
Not being protected.
Not being encouraged, mirrored, or emotionally held.

Over time, the nervous system adapts, and those adaptations become an inner voice that sounds harsh, minimising, or relentlessly self-critical.

If any of these slides landed for you, this isn’t a diagnosis and it isn’t blame.
It’s context.

And context is often the beginning of self-compassion, and change.

Comment MASTERCLASS to get on my list and be among the first to receive all the details for my upcoming free trauma webinar 💚

This year has stretched me in ways I didn’t expect. It’s been personally tricky at times, and had moments where showing ...
26/12/2025

This year has stretched me in ways I didn’t expect. It’s been personally tricky at times, and had moments where showing up took more energy than anyone could see. But alongside that, there have been opportunities, growth, and work that has mattered deeply to me. Everything in balance right!

I don’t want this to read as a list of achievements. I’m very aware that for many people, this year has been about survival rather than milestones. If that’s you, that’s ok.

For me, this reflection is about honouring my effort this year rather than just outcomes. About noticing how, even in a difficult year, I’ve moved closer to my values. Perhaps in some ways the things that were hard helped me to realign. I’ve found ways to do meaningful work, to impact more people, and at the same time to protect what matters most to me… being present with my children, creating balance, and choosing a pace that feels more aligned.

This isn’t about “celebrating success” so much as acknowledging resilience, intention, and making the decisions that work for me in my work.

However this year has been for you, whether heavy or hopeful, I hope you can offer yourself the same compassion.

We’re allowed to honour both what we’ve carried and what we’ve built 💚

Some of the deepest childhood wounds aren’t the ones we immediately recognise as trauma (not violence, disasters or acci...
24/12/2025

Some of the deepest childhood wounds aren’t the ones we immediately recognise as trauma (not violence, disasters or accidents).

They’re the moments you weren’t comforted.
The feelings that were dismissed.
The times you had to grow up too fast, stay quiet, or work things out alone.

When safety, consistency, or emotional support were missing, your nervous system adapted in order to cope.

Your childhood coping becomes your adult behaviours...hypervigilance, self-doubt, people-pleasing, anxiety.

As an adult, those adaptations can feel confusing or frustrating and you perhaps don't fully understand why you are like this.

Why am I always on edge? Why do small things feel overwhelming? Why can’t I just relax?

It isn’t because you’re broken.
It’s because this is how your body and brain learned to cope.

Understanding this offers context, compassion, and choice.

Healing starts when we stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and think about “What happened, or didn’t, that shaped me?”

Over time, my work and the way I make an impact has grown, and so have the ways that you can work with me.Whether you’re...
23/12/2025

Over time, my work and the way I make an impact has grown, and so have the ways that you can work with me.

Whether you’re looking for trauma therapy, clinical supervision, structured learning, or training for a wider audience, there are now a few different pathways to work with me (and my brilliant associates).

If something here resonates, reach out to me via shelley@fortitudepsychologicaltherapy.co.uk to see how we can work together, or simply hold it in mind for when the timing feels right.

Trauma-informed work is never one-size-fits-all 💚

Avoidance feels safe at first. It is a really common response to something traumatic, why would we go back and be remind...
17/12/2025

Avoidance feels safe at first. It is a really common response to something traumatic, why would we go back and be reminded of something that is painful for us?!

But avoidance quickly grows and seeps into other areas of life.

Ignoring a difficult task, an uncomfortable feeling, or tough conversation can give instant relief. Phew!

But over time, it builds up, creating more stress, anxiety, and even self-doubt.

This is what we call the Avoidance Spiral: the more we avoid, the bigger the fear or discomfort grows, and the harder it becomes to face it.

Small steps can change things. Start with one tiny action today. Even a little progress breaks the spiral 💚

What’s one thing you’ve been avoiding that you could take a tiny step towards today?

Trauma doesn’t just live in our memories, it shapes how our nervous system responds every day. It can leave us feeling o...
14/12/2025

Trauma doesn’t just live in our memories, it shapes how our nervous system responds every day. It can leave us feeling overwhelmed, shut down, reactive, or stuck in survival mode, even when life looks “fine” on the outside.

I’m thrilled to be speaking on The Psychology of Trauma & Emotions for in Salisbury this January ✨

In this talk, we’ll gently unpack what’s happening in the brain and body when emotions feel hard to manage. We’ll explore the roles of the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex, how trauma impacts regulation, and why certain triggers can feel so intense. We’ll also look at the Window of Tolerance and share simple, science-backed tools, including grounding, breathwork, and self-soothing, to help shift from reactivity towards calm and safety.

This evening is for anyone curious about trauma’s impact, whether you’re a mental health professional, have lived experience, or simply want a deeper understanding of yourself and others.

📍 The Guildhall, Salisbury
🗓️ January 27
⏰ 5:00–7:30pm GMT

Tickets available now: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-psychology-of-trauma-emotions-tickets-1976585229630?utm_source=Venue_speaker&utm_medium=Venue_speaker&utm_campaign=na&utm_content=na

I’d love to see you there 🤍

When the smallest things feel big, heavy, or strangely threatening. It’s a sign that your brain is doing what it was tra...
14/12/2025

When the smallest things feel big, heavy, or strangely threatening. It’s a sign that your brain is doing what it was trained to do.

Trauma teaches the nervous system to scan for danger long after the danger has passed. And because the brain is built for efficiency and survival, it begins to react to anything that looks, sounds, or feels even vaguely similar to the past.

It doesn’t always have to be a physical threat.

It could be a sigh.
A pause.
A message that goes unanswered.
A decision you “should” be able to make.
A request that feels like pressure.

None of these are objectively dangerous, but your body doesn’t use logic first. It uses memory to determine what is psychologically safe.

The good news?

With insight, support, and nervous-system-friendly tools, your brain can update. It can learn that you’re safe in the present, even if the past trained you otherwise.

Your system isn’t broken, it’s protective.
And it can absolutely heal.

✨ For practical strategies and gentle support, sign up for my free Trauma Toolbox via the link in bio.

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