The Menopause Therapist & Coach

02/07/2025

There is a lot of truth in Fran - Whinge Whinge Wine's take on perimenopause.

Temperature regulation for menopausal/POI women is a whole different beast. I'm not sure how you're all feeling today, but I don't think I've stopped being somewhere on the spectrum from 'a bit clammy' to full-on 'I feel like I've just done a run but all I did was bend to take the washing out of the machine' level sweating since Monday. Even though in theory it's cooler today, my body doesn't seem to think so 🥵

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1GPqhqithU/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Perimenopause almost sounds like something soft and wafting; a gentle prelude to a whimsical hormonal fade-out.

It is not.

It is a hormonal rave in your uterus while your brain quietly packs up and moves out.

Officially, it’s the stage before menopause. Unofficially, it’s the bit where your body goes, 'You know what would be fun? Absolute. Fu***ng. Chaos.' And off it goes, setting your hormones on fire and leaving you to deal with the fallout using nothing but rage, chocolate and overpriced supplements.

So how do you know you’ve landed in Perimenopause Land™? Here are ten signs.

If even three or four of these sound vaguely familiar, then welcome to the club.

We cry a lot and nobody sleeps.

1. Your period is on a choose-your-own-adventure schedule

Used to be once a month, like clockwork. Now? Surprise! Sometimes it's early. Sometimes it's late. Sometimes it's twice in one month and other times it’s ghosted you completely, only to reappear like an ex-boyfriend you were hoping had ceased to exist.

Also, enjoy guessing how heavy it's going to be. Light spotting? Full murder scene? Nobody knows. Just give up wearing white for the next decade or so.

2. You’re either freezing, or sweating like you’ve been locked in a sauna

Hot flushes are real and not at all s*xy. One minute you're watching telly under a blanket and the next you're ripping off your clothes like you're in Magic Mike: Midlife Edition, fanning yourself with a cereal box and glaring at the dog for existing.

Night sweats? Oh yes. Nothing says 'glamorous woman in her 40s' like waking up soaked in your own hormonal broth at 3am. And I'm not even going to mention the unbearable heatwave. Every woman over 40 should be allowed to opt out of real life at the moment, by law.

3. You forget words mid-sentence and just stare into the void

You were in the middle of a story and suddenly… nothing. Your brain has left the chat. What’s the word for that thing? The... thing. With the face. You know. The person. From school. With the hair. Oh forget it, it’s gone.

You’re not losing your mind. It’s just hormonal chaos brain. Totally normal. Completely annoying.

4. Sleep? What sleep?

You’re exhausted, actually bone-weary, all day but come bedtime your body’s like, 'Shall we replay that thing you said in 2003?'. If you fall asleep quickly, there's a more than slight chance you'll wake up at 3.17am drenched in sweat and then spend 4 hours staring at the ceiling for absolutely no reason.

Short daytime naps are my lord and saviour; I quite often tell the kids I'm going for a nap and disappear on a Saturday afternoon, and my daughter wakes me up an hour or so later with a cup of tea.

And that, ladies and gents, is why I had kids, and why I had them long before this sh*tshow.

5. Mood swings that should come with a warning label

From serene goddess to raging banshee in 0.3 seconds. Your family lives in fear. Even you live in fear.

One minute you’re sobbing at a bin bag advert, the next you’re yelling because someone has left crumbs in the kitchen. Hormones are out here playing Mario Kart with your emotional wellbeing and everyone else just needs to back away slowly.

6. Weight gain for absolutely no reason whatsoever

You’re eating less, moving more, and somehow your jeans still hate you. Thanks!

7. Your libido is doing weird things

It’s either gone completely AWOL - and you now start arguments about dishwasher stacking just to make sure your partner doesn’t come within a six-foot radius - or your hormones are throwing a final clearance sale and you want to jump their bones every time they walk past holding a cup of tea.

Either way, you have absolutely no say in the matter and your partner is probably scared.

Also, no - taking your clothes off in the middle of the night is not an invitation. See point 2.

8. Your skin and hair have gone rogue

Dry skin. Greasy skin. Acne and wrinkles. Hair thinning. Hair falling out. Hair appearing somewhere new and entirely unwelcome.

You are no longer in control. Your face is a science experiment, and your eyebrows are definitely thinner than last week.

9. You no longer tolerate bullsh*t (and honestly? Good.)

You have zero time for drama, faff, or energy vampires. You say no without explanation. You ghost people who drain you. You rage-quit WhatsApp groups.

Your hormones may be a mess, but your boundaries are immaculate. It’s the one upside, really.

10. Everyone else seems deeply, profoundly annoying

Your partner chewing. Your child breathing too loudly. The person in front of you in Tesco who won’t move forward. You’re one minor inconvenience away from going fully feral.

This is not your fault. You’re hormonally possessed. The only thing that helps is a quiet room and possibly cake.

You’re not going mad. You’re just perimenopausal

It’s not all in your head.

You’re not being dramatic.

Your body is changing in weird, wild, uncontrollable ways, and no one warned you it would start this early.

So here’s your permission slip to moan, to rage, to Google herbal remedies you’ll forget to take, and to throw chocolate at anyone who tells you to just relax, because we have to go through all this while doing *gestures vaguely at everything*.

And when in doubt: wine, a fan, and noise-cancelling headphones.

You’ve got this, hot flashes and all.

(If you want some useful advice about perimenopause, check out the NHS website and if it's affecting you then please make an appointment with your GP. You definitely should not be diagnosing yourself with anything based on the blog post of an overheating, rage-filled woman).

01/07/2025

I’ve not been very active on Facebook recently after stepping away from 3.5yrs as admin of a very busy Facebook group of 8k+ counsellors and psychotherapists. But I’m delighted to return to my page to share that I am now an EMCC Accredited Coach at Senior Practitioner Level 🎉

Completing this Senior Practitioner accreditation via Therapist to Coach Ltd has challenged me in ways I didn’t expect and, as a reflective practitioner, I have learnt so much about myself as well as enhancing my coaching skills.

It has helped me reflect on my practice as a whole and consider where I want to take it. I have exciting plans for September/October, but 2025 has been ‘a lot’ so far, so first I plan on spending time on gentle reflection and consolidation.

It’s also too hot to do much more this week on top of the coaching, therapy and supervision day job! 🥵😆

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/179XT6Mamj/?mibextid=wwXIfr

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Interested in working with me?:
✨Coaching to navigate change and thrive
✨ Counselling for menopause, hormone and fertility issues
✨ Clinical supervision

Book a free 30-minute intro/discovery call:
calendly.com/themenopausetherapist/introductory-discovery-call

“I’d had my eye on the Therapist to Coach Ltd course for several years and the wait list meant I signed up over a year before I started - the wait was well worth it!”

Congratulations to graduate, Helen Bennett, from my Therapist to Coach Ltd Senior Practitioner in Coaching programme.

“I wanted a coaching course aligned with a leading professional membership body, with academic rigour and a practicing element. Trish’s course has all of these, and is aimed at qualified therapists.”

“Working out how to integrate coaching alongside my existing therapy and clinical supervision practice was an important part for me, and to do this alongside peers who were navigating the same decisions and practicing the same new coaching skills and tools was fun and motivating.”

“The content and final portfolio felt daunting at the start, but the structure really works - my confidence built with each workshop and coaching session and with the professional supervision that is integrated into the course.”

“Trish’s encouragement and super-speedy feedback, and the support of my fabulous cohort of therapists becoming coaches, made all the difference.”

“I’m delighted to have completed the T2C training and I’m so excited about my plans to continue to develop my coaching services. I would heartily recommend this course for any therapist looking to work as a coach, or integrate coaching into their practice. ”

Welcome to the profession, Helen 🤩👏🏻





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Want to join the September cohort? https://www.therapisttocoach.co.uk

08/04/2025

What a beautiful news story this is - I’m in tears thinking about how this ground-breaking fertility treatment will be able to change people’s lives. And I couldn’t describe why better than Man vs Baby has here 🥰

'A little miracle': First baby born in UK to woman with transplanted womb https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c78jd517z87o

Now THIS is an amazing story. Even if it is accompanied by the usual bonfire-pissing comments about ‘messing with nature’ and ‘playing god’. Fertility science,from IVF to cutting edge stuff like this, is dogged by these attitudes, especially online. You need no licence to use the internet and that means that even those amongst us with brains that function like a potato, are allowed to drag their knuckles along a keyboard in expression of a dim opinion. I don’t know how many of these people would refuse a kidney transplant? Or blood transfusion? Where do they draw their line..? you interfere with nature every time you take a paracetamol or an antibiotic.

..But hey, when did these folk ever let reality get in the way of their well thought out and reasoned bu****it.

I see it differently. If you’ve been in the position that we found ourselves with Charlie - believing that he would never come - it felt like a door that was always slowly closing. And the pain of that was profound because it never didnt feel like he was standing on the other side.

What fertility scientists do is something remarkable. They put a foot against that closing door and say no.. hang on a minute. we might be able to do something about this. And in our case, They did. They fulfilled their promise by gift of Charlie. Dont get me wrong In that moment that we first saw him on a monitor, for us, these people WERE god. The best kind of god, answering prayers kindly. But in hindsight and in reality, they weren’t ‘playing god’ at all. Or ‘messing with nature’. They were just fulfilling the promise of both. They were using the incredible tools (their magnificent brains & dedication) they’d been given by god or nature or evolution to create something incomparably good. And Thats what I see here. In this story. Something good.

Out of tragedy, science delivers by forceps.. a miracle.

So welcome to earth little trailblazer, your mum - and her amazing sister - went through some stuff to get you here and I have no doubt your entire family will love you all the more for it. And to those playing god.. Keep playing, when the result is this kind of unconditional love, there’s not a God worth their salt that would mind.

03/04/2025

April is Adenomyosis Awareness Month. According to recent polling by Endometriosis UK, 77% of people have never heard of adenomyosis.

So let's talk about it.

Adenomyosis is a condition where cells similar to the ones in the lining of the womb grow within the muscle of the womb wall. Adenomyosis responds to the hormones in the menstrual cycle and affects 10% of women and those assigned female at birth.

To learn more about adenomyosis, join us and special guest speaker Dr. Kenneth Ma for 'Adenomyosis Explained', a free to attend webinar on 10th April at 7pm: https://www.endometriosis-uk.org/civicrm/event/info?reset=1&id=1075



Image description: Red text on a yellow background reads "77% of people have never heard of adenomyosis. Let's talk about it."

08/12/2024

I love this story ❤️

'I realised, I can do this, I can have a baby solo'

Amy was single and worried her chance of motherhood was slipping away. So she decided to go it alone.

27/11/2024

Please read this story shared on the BBC today.

Emily’s story is horrific for so many reasons, but sadly it is not unusual. Anyone with endometriosis or adenomyosis will have a story to tell - please ask them about it.

Spoiler alert: Their story is highly likely to be a one of pain, gaslighting, misdiagnosis or at the least a minimising of their symptoms when they asked for help; a lack of understanding from doctors, family and friends, and feelings of isolation and despair. They may have had to limit activities, change jobs and they may have lost friendships, just to manage their symptoms. And, like Emily, they may have spent a fortune seeking private medical expertise.

We need to talk about these invisible women’s health conditions. They are so common and yet they are dismissed so often as ‘bad period pain’ with the implication to take painkillers, and ‘get on with it’. The more we talk about it, the more pressure there will be to research diagnosis and treatment options, and eventually help sufferers get the help they need.

I haven’t even mentioned how women in the UK who are in pain still do not have autonomy over their bodies. How, as this article shows, an adult woman still isn’t allowed to choose not to have children, even if that difficult choice might ease her pain (or some of it) and even when her current treatment is causing life-limiting changes to her bones and impacting her health.

Please. Help these women be heard. ❤️

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/talking

Emily, who has endometriosis and adenomyosis, says her requests for a hysterectomy are ignored.

18/11/2024

Gynaecology waiting lists double, leaving women in pain https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/clyvg2157mvo

I see the impact of this every day in my private practice. Whether it’s the extreme pain and debilitating effects of endometriosis or adenomyosis, symptoms of hormone issues, unexplained bleeding, menopause, birth-related health issues or long-term, common and life-changing conditions like pelvic organ prolapse, women are being let down by our current healthcare system.

Many feel forced to go private, they give up after being stuck in the system, they are discharged without being helped, or they are gaslit by doctors who tell them their pain is normal and they just need to get on with it.

A lot of the women who come to see me are living in pain and discomfort but they won’t even be represented on these waiting list statistics. Perhaps that is the real story behind the positive message at the end of the article that waiting lists are reducing 🤷‍♀️

These conditions are invisible. Women are forced to adapt their lifestyles, work and social lives because of them, and they come to therapy to help find ways to cope.

‘Gynaecology is the only elective speciality that solely treats women and has one of the worst waiting lists across the UK.

"This reflects the persistent lack of priority given to women and women’s health, " Dr Thakar says.

"Women are suffering. We know it is affecting their mental health. They are not able to go to work, they are not able to socialize."’

Around 630,000 women are waiting for gynaecology appointments as waiting lists double in four years.

03/11/2024

As a therapist who supports women/AFAB with menopause and women’s health issues I’m always happy to share information to help us all understand va**nas better and feel comfortable talking about them!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/nov/02/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-va**nas-but-were-too-afraid-to-google?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Just please ignore the GP’s comment about s*x ‘preventing’ GSM/Vaginal Atrophy 🙉. It doesn’t.

A quick note about GSM/VA - The ‘use it or lose it’ advice is dangerous and plain wrong. It can lead to women feeling unfounded guilt and/or shame for having less s*x, feeling like their GSM/VA is their fault, and forcing themselves to have painful and damaging in*******se in an attempt to ‘cure’ the issue.

There’s some evidence that encouraging blood flow to the va**nal area may help atrophy symptoms, but if your oestrogen is low in the menopause transition and it’s affecting your ge***al area, regular s*x cannot stop atrophy happening.

If s*x is painful for you, if your va**nal feels shorter and tighter, if you have some spotting or bleeding after s*x, if you are experiencing itching in the ge***al area or you are having lots of UTIs or stress incontinence please see your GP. Treatments are available and they often work relatively quickly.

Should you wash your va**na? Can a tampon get lost in one? And does having s*x make you looser? Experts in all things ‘down there’ separate fact from fiction

30/09/2024

I’ve watched the Panorama programme today and it was disappointing, to say the least. It starts with a discussion about the plethora of unevidenced, misleading, expensive supplements marketed to desperate, menopausal women - so far, so good.

But then it focuses on Louise Newson and Newson Health Menopause & Wellbeing Centre and interviews women who had experienced being prescribed very high doses of oestrogen, some with inadequate doses of progesterone, causing much worse hormone and medical issues than the women had presented with. Their stories are very concerning, and I have lots of empathy for their experiences, but the programme showed only part of the picture.

Panorama talks about private menopause clinics as if they are the Wild West in comparison with the ‘gold standard’ treatment available on the NHS. Yet the NHS approach to menopause and women’s health is so far from ‘gold standard’. In fact, women have been forced to seek help from Newson’s clinic in their thousands because of the appalling lack of care available on the NHS.

A lack of menopause specialists, waiting lists for HRT clinics that are years long (often only to be fobbed off by a gynaecologist who isn’t a specialist and struck off the list before a chance for a follow-up appointment), a refusal to test hormones so most women on HRT are left to try and work out on their own whether their symptoms are sufficiently ‘under control’, and thousands of untrained, unknowledgeable and unempathetic GPs, who would prefer to prescribe antidepressants instead of HRT, while they eye-roll the influx of perimenopausal woman out of their clinic doors.

Yes, I suspect there has been some overprescribing happening in private menopause clinics, but this is happening so much less than women being denied menopause care - care that is their right to receive on the NHS. The real story should be focused on the hundreds of thousands of women/AFAB suffering with menopause symptoms who aren’t being helped by our NHS, the lack of research into HRT doses and absorption and the very obvious need for better ways for women to monitor and understand what is happening to their bodies as they age.

Louise Newson has been a trailblazer in healthcare, bringing the very real and hidden suffering of women into the mainstream; dragging the conversation about menopause and associated women’s health issues out of the shadows and into offices, friendship groups and healthcare settings across the world.

My fear from watching today’s episode of Panorama is that it may send women’s health back into the dark ages - the closeted place it was in before Newson and Davina McCall shone a powerful light on the scandal that is and was women’s healthcare. I am concerned it will fuel sceptical, misogynistic medics’ resolve to deny basic care to women who are suffering the very real and varied symptoms of menopause. I worry it will create fear and further uncertainty in women as to whether their prescriptions are safe, whether HRT is safe, and which doctor to trust.

I hope instead that this programme will cause a surge of response from everyone who has been helped by Newson and her team, and that this will force more research into women’s hormones and lead to more support for anyone suffering a debilitating menopause 🙏

Kirsty Wark investigates the multi-billion-pound global menopause industry promising women relief from often debilitating symptoms if they buy specially branded supplements, teas and even pyjamas.

28/09/2024

I’m very interested in seeing Kirsty Wark’s take on the menopause industry on Monday evening - will anyone else be watching?! 👀

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0023jdn?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR279_SuIkaA67PG6ekwyLEXhBqQdZPijWqTdBg9f-0ScGY-304wsf_NrgE_aem_cJ-9e5MByNOpScbIzXp7gg

Kirsty Wark investigates the multi-billion-pound global menopause industry.

27/09/2024

‘Women with POI are twice to three times as likely to develop severe autoimmune conditions such as type 1 diabetes, overactive thyroid, lupus and inflammatory bowel disease, compared with the general population.’

As a POI sufferer this research is not news to me - many people with POI have diagnosed autoimmune conditions and even more suspect autoimmune conditions but struggle to have their concerns taken seriously. Unfortunately most people diagnosed with POI never find out why their ovaries have stopped functioning as expected for their age - in the UK it’s rarely even investigated.

Research like this is crucial to help the 1 in 100 women or people assigned female at birth who experience spontaneous POI under 40 (and the 1 in 1000 who have spontaneous POI under 30) to understand their condition.

I hope it will lead to investigations into autoimmune conditions as a matter of course for individuals diagnosed with POI, and to more research into the causes of POI, how to prevent the condition, and how best to treat it ❤️

https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2024/sep/26/women-periods-stop-early-autoimmune-diseases-premature-ovarian-insufficiency?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0BMQABHXa6zyPZkoeKlCdaIyHTcFFwsnO7d6RCXfNsr5Hez7-lhS2xOOF4koSsPA_aem_G_Ik0D1zzt9si6S-b2HnHA

Women with premature ovarian insufficiency condition are more likely to develop conditions such as diabetes and lupus

10/09/2024

A beautiful and emotive article discussing the experience of being childless not by choice as those around you start becoming grandparents 💜

At times we fear a future without the anchor of family. But love bombs from the many children in our life can be great defibrillators for a blown-up heart