12/11/2025
We were part way through the Dare to Go Deep Challenge when it happened.
I lay in bed after a call, heart cracked open, and tears streamed down my face.
I felt used.
Used by Tanya Lynn. And beneath that, a much older ache surfaced — the memory of being a young girl who had learned to meet her mother’s needs instead of her own.
It was like two timelines collapsed into one moment, revealing a pattern that had been quietly shaping my relationships ever since.
Up until then, my almost ten year journey with Sistership Circle had been nothing short of extraordinary. Within months of joining, I was working behind the scenes, managing what was then called the Sister Tribe. I longed to leave my regular job and live in service to something sacred — something that truly mattered to me.
Circle gave me that meaning.
It was the pathway back to my true self. A doorway to deep healing. A remembering of the divine feminine that had been waiting in the shadows all along.
But my relationship with circle began long before Sistership.
In 2007, during my macrobiotic training, I sat among fourteen others. When it came to my turn to share, I could barely speak before tears came. Something old and tight inside me finally gave way, and I felt seen and held in a way I never had before.
That moment opened something in me — a quiet knowing that this was how we heal: together.
Years later, after the birth of my daughter, I moved to a new city. I was lonely, my marriage was crumbling, and I needed something to hold me. So I went to a local women’s circle.
The remembrance came rushing back.
For years, I had felt so different from my family — separate, like I had been born speaking another language entirely. The only thing I knew how to do was run. I’d spent the last decade trying to find belonging anywhere but there.
That night, something shifted. I felt the pulse of home in my body — and a clear message whispered through me: move closer to family.
So I did. I moved home to Peterborough, separated from my husband, and threw myself into personal development work.
During a transformative communication seminar, my small group just happened to be all women.
As we sat in circle, that same feeling of recognition lit up inside me. The same knowing. The same remembering.
I returned home from that weekend and knew: I need to create spaces like this.
Spaces for depth, honesty, and emotional truth.
I trained with the Wild Woman Project, but it didn’t quite land. Something was still missing — the union of feminine essence and structure I was craving.
Then I found How to Lead Circle.
From the very first moment, I knew.
This was it — the perfect marriage of yin and yang, feminine and structure, flow and form.
From leading three women in my local community to gathering twenty or more every month, my leadership grew, my voice deepened, and my confidence blossomed.
Through circle, I began healing the mother wound and the witch wound. I found my voice, grew more visible, and started stepping into the woman I was always meant to be — more connected to my power, my body, and my sensuality. I was finally coming into right relationship with the feminine.
Then life invited me into another initiation.
Just as my healing with my mother reached a new depth, Tanya and I came together to co-create the Feminine Freedom Method coach training program.
It felt like destiny. We birthed it together. It was magic.
Until it wasn’t.
After the Dare to Go Deep Challenge, something felt off. Then an email landed in my inbox: FFM Compensation.
My stomach dropped. Tanya was retracting the 50/50 partnership agreement and moving me back to a basic facilitator rate.
WTF?!
I stared at the screen in disbelief. After all the devotion, all the years of service, the late nights, the love, the vision of a million circles on the planet — how could this be?
And over email?
I was fuming. And underneath that, heartbroken.
My first instinct was to leave.
I wrote back saying I was done.
But as I sat with it, something softened. I could see the pattern.
The leaving pattern. The one that had shown up in every rupture before.
I began to realise that sometimes sisterhood breaks us open so we can return as the women we were always meant to be.
That sometimes the initiation isn’t in leaving, but in staying — because it’s in staying that we receive the medicine.
True sisterhood has never been about perfection; it’s about presence. About staying conscious in the midst of it all. Bearing sacred witness to what’s arising, being open to the medicine it carries, and calling one another up into the greatest we can be.
That’s how the feminine heals.
That’s how we heal.
What if this was my initiation into something deeper?
What if I didn’t run this time?
What if staying was the medicine?
What if this was happening for me?
So I stayed.
Tanya and I spoke. We found a way forward. It wasn’t perfect, and it left a scar — but it was a way forward.
Even then, I could feel something shifting beneath the surface. Something dissolving. I wasn’t sure if it was my relationship with Tanya, with Sistership Circle, or with the version of myself I had been within it.
And then Peta Bastian appeared.
I hadn’t spoken to her in years. I knew she had left with pain, and I remembered feeling confused when she unfriended me on Facebook.
So when Tanya suggested we connect, I was open but cautious — curious to see what truth wanted to be spoken.
From the first voice note, I could feel it. The warmth. The familiarity. The remembering.
Back then, when she was on the trainer team, we hadn’t known each other deeply. But this time, something clicked.
Within days, we were exchanging stories and laughter. What I felt was a shared sense of homecoming.
It was as if our souls recognised each other.
A knowing rose up in me.
Tanya, Peta, and I — we’ve done this before.
In another lifetime, in another temple. Three women who once created together, now returning to finish what we began.
And then, as if to seal it all, I remembered the opening lyrics from the song Tanya had mentioned in her first email.
A song that seemed to carry the prophecy itself.
‘We stand at the threshold of a great dawning,
Something deep within life is changing.
An era is ending, and at the very core of creation,
Something new is being born.’
And with that truth alive in me, I hand the thread back to Tanya — as we continue weaving what’s next.
Note: this is part of a bigger context and an unfolding story. If you'd like in on it all, head over to the group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sistershipcircle
What's unfolding here feels like it's so huge.
