Thriving Through Grief

18/01/2025

LOVE THIS. Despite my heart-rending grief, part of me wanted to clap after my son died to celebrate that extraordinary nature of his death. 👏

25/05/2024

WHAT IS DEEP REST and how do I reach it? This is one of a few enquiries I’ve been holding since my hip-replacement operation 3 weeks ago. It is easy to think I am resting and aiding recovery by stopping work for a month; ceasing engagement in projects; pottering about; or sitting still, but I’m realising that the level of deep rest my system needs is far deeper than this ~ it is total presence and includes releasing all mind chatter.

Here are the few instances when I have felt truly replenished these last healing-focussed weeks: communing with the robin that sits on the armrest of my chair and c***s its head at me as if to say, “are you alright?”; finally relaxing the contracted places in my body in a craniosacral session; dozing in the sun with a light wind and the sound of birdsong; sitting in a foxglove grove; having my hair and face stroked.

Synchronicity has brought the book pictured into my field. (Thank you Jonathan Dawson). The author, Tricia Hersey asserts, ‘Rest is a healing portal to our deepest selves. Rest is care. Rest is radical.’ And she asks, ‘Can we dream our way to a future where rest is exalted?’

This is where I’m headed. Want to join me?

04/05/2024

Here's a pic of me fresh out of Thursday's surgery with my new hip, which is full of the energy of those of you who connected to this process with love. All is well. It has been very intense, as initiations of this order are, but I feel outrageously blessed by friends and family's support. I arrived home last night to a little gaggle of Bowdenites on the lawn, some clapping and curious little girls who had picked flowers for my room. A scrumptious dinner made by my soul daughter awaited, and caring, listening ears helped me process some of the troubles that happened in the hospital.
I'm taking everything a moment at a time and soon the extra cavalry of my dear soul-friend Jason will be here from California for 4 days stay to take care of me. 🌹
Thank you for continuing sending love into my hip ~ the swelling and bruising is due very soon but maybe we can help minimise it. ❤️

06/04/2024

Update on health: The date of my hip replacement operation is May 2nd. 🥳 There is £641 left to go on the fundraiser and I am leaving that in the lap of the Gods/Goddesses!
The pain levels have increased and my world has shrunk a little further as I can only walk very short distances but I have been brought to 'grateful tears' many-a-time by the amount of support I've received. Thank you sooooo much if you have helped in any way at all. I have needed it. 🙏🏼
My focus now is now twofold: being the best counsellor I can be until I have to take a break for a month (or more) and preparing my body, mind and home for what is to come.
How do I feel? Blessed, vulnerable, trusting, scared and sometimes very capable. 😇 😳 😌 🥰
Here's the link if you want to learn more about my story or to donate in this last stretch. 😍

Fundraising

20/03/2024

Too right! Beware platitudes!

16/03/2024

ACT OF KINDESS REQUESTED: ONE CLICK ON THE SHARE BUTTON!

At long last, my nervous system is relaxing. I’m seeing light at the end of the tunnel and an end to the pain is tantalisingly in sight. The amount of support I’ve received for my private hip operation has repeatedly moved me to tears. 🙏🏼 I’m 76% funded now, but donations have dropped away and I need to reach friends who haven’t spotted the post yet. Are you willing to help me?

If you don’t feel moved/able to donate, do please take a look at my story. Your energetic support and prayers feel invaluable.

PLEASE NOTE: If donating, you will be asked to consider leaving a tip (towards managing the site) and you can change the figure in the box to anything from ‘0’ upwards.

Fundraising

07/03/2024

Thank you sooooo much to all you lovely ones who have read my story in the crowdfunder and are standing behind me either energetically or financially. 🙏🏼 It feels great simply to know that you have read my story and know where I am at present in the wild ride of life.
If you aren't up-to-date, I welcome you into my world right now. Just follow the link. 🌹

Fundraising

03/03/2024

Wisdom as ever from Donna Ashworth.

LOVE CAME FIRST

You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her.
And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember. Grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first...

Donna Ashworth

From Wild Hope ♥️
UK: https://amzn.eu/d/2j0Nquu
US: https://a.co/d/h6FEaTv

Art by the wonderful Annie Hamman Art

02/03/2024

My world has been shrinking due to a great deal of pain with osteoarthritis of the hip for a l..o..n..g time now but, at last, I've taken a leap of faith and signed up for a private operation. Therefore, I am boldly beckoning the energy of everyone I know to stand behind me, be that in the form of ‘prayers', sharing this post, practical support when the the time comes, or financial donations large or small to help pay for the operation and bypass the 14 month long NHS waiting list.

It is important to me for all support to be clean, clear and given because you want to, not because a little voice says you should. I have total trust that the finance required is on its way.

I’d be delighted if you read my story in the link, whether wanting to contribute financially or not. There is more to this chapter of my life than meets the eye and I've shared this as transparently as I can. It is a 'coming out' of sorts.

How many Facebook shares could we muster between us I wonder?

With much gratitude and anticipation,
Carmella 🙏🏼

PS. WhyDonate are the cheapest crowdfunding platform. They take 1.9% + 25p per transaction (as opposed to 2.9 or 5%) and 0% set up fees to me. If donating, you will be asked to consider leaving a tip (towards managing the site). It isn’t initially obvious that you can set the figure in the box to ‘0%’ if you don’t want to tip.

Fundraising

21/01/2024

Thank you so much for all your birthday messages.
I chose a trip to the 'Cool for Cats' Cat Cafe in the morn, with Asher Sai B'Hahn, which was fun and comforting... and also reminded me of what I have lost with Suki's death. A bitter/sweet experience! Easily Googleable if interested, and they sell good cake and coffee with paw prints in the froth!
Later I howled with laughter 🤣, a much needed tonic, with 5 of my close women friends. We feasted and they reflected to me who I am in my essence, reminding me of my heart-song (as the quote picture below suggests). Much ice-cream, brownies, grapes, and gorse chocolate ~ yes gorse! ~ was consumed along with moving songs. I am well~loved and replete with wonderful witnessing. 🥰
I highly recommend asking for what you really need on your birthday... you might just get it!

01/01/2024

Perfect words for those of us who have lived through a challenging year. Keep on keeping on everyone. 🌹

Hello. Happy New Year to. Thank you for all your enthusiasm and kindness. love Charlie.

24/12/2023

What's on my mind is the blessing that music maestro, Nick Prater, brought to this community. It's hard to believe that it's a decade today since he passed. The big bell on top of Bowden House was tolled to spread the news of his passing ~ a deeply touching sound. He was a very sweet man, a great garden gnome, fabulous with the kids and a lovely next door neighbour. THANK YOU NICK. Blessings on all the remaining Praters on this special day. Let's sing loudly for him tomorrow at lunch. ❤️🎶❤️