21/07/2025
The day I stopped competing was the day I lost who I was.
But the truth is… I’d started losing myself long before.
At the later stages of my running career, I was emotionally charged and making decisions based on ego.
I’d run 120+ mile weeks, convinced that’s what it would take to break 29 minutes for 10k — a barrier I desperately wanted.
Even when my coach or training partners told me to chill, the chimp in my brain would whisper, “F**k them. They just don’t want you getting better than them.”
My mind was so convoluted. I thought it was me against the world.
People were just trying to look out for me — but I couldn’t see it. And it poisoned a lot of friendships back then too.
I couldn’t see further than the next training session.
I needed it to be harder and longer than the day before, because that’s what I thought got results.
And when I had a bad training session or raced poorly?
I’d get so low, so down. For days I’d barely speak to anyone.
Part of me genuinely believed everyone was laughing at me, thinking, “He should just quit.”
I tied my entire self-worth to numbers on a stopwatch.
Looking back now, I see how small my world had become.
If you’re there now — fighting everyone, even the people trying to help — I get it. Truly.
But I promise you: your worth is bigger than your PBs. Your value doesn’t disappear when the racing stops.
And the people who really love you? They never wanted you to destroy yourself for a medal.
Save this to save you💪
