09/01/2026
Understanding dementia/ Alzheimer's for families, friends and loved ones of those with dementia. It's not easy, in fact it can be incredibly stressful and soul destroying prior and after a diagnosis. Some family members may be in denial for sometime as you don't want to believe this is happening, this can start affecting your own health and well being, it's important to always gather as much information and support as you can for yourself too, to understand.
Here's a little advice I've learnt to do over the years π«ΆπΌ
Every time you enter the room announce yourself. βHi Robert- itβs (name).β
NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.
1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think weβre visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. Iβll be much happier for it.
3. If I get dementia, donβt argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
7. If I get dementia, I donβt want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that Iβve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I donβt eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
13. If I get dementia, donβt talk about me as if Iβm not in the room.
14. If I get dementia, donβt feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Itβs not your fault, and youβve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
16. If I get dementia, donβt act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. Itβs not my fault.
17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favourite music playing within earshot.
18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
19. If I get dementia, donβt exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.β
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In honour of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimerβs.