Ashleigh James Therapy

04/02/2026

04/02/2026

Somewhere along the way, many people stop choosing themselves.

Not all at once.
Not dramatically.
Just slowly… through over-adapting, over-giving, over-functioning, and forgetting to check back in.

Then one day, they find themselves thinking:
"How did I get here?"
"Why don’t I recognise my own life?"
If you’ve been feeling disconnected from yourself lately, start here.

Ask yourself these three questions, and answer them honestly:
✨ What do I truly see for myself in the future?
(Not what feels sensible. Not what others expect. What do you actually want?)
⚡ What steps would move me closer to that life, and what am I avoiding?
The gap is rarely about capability. More often, it’s fear, self-doubt, or waiting until we feel “ready.”
🧠 Where in my life am I abandoning myself?
Where are you staying silent, shrinking, tolerating, or betraying your own needs to keep the peace?
Awareness can feel uncomfortable, but it is also where change begins.

You don’t need a completely new life.
You need to start choosing yourself within the one you already have. And if you’re ready for that kind of shift, support can make the process feel far less overwhelming.

When you’re ready to come back to yourself, I’m here.

03/02/2026

I'm your favourite influencer's therapist, and here's what they want you to know!

Trauma can look successful.

Being high-functioning isn’t the goal.

And your nervous system keeps the receipts.

Let’s be honest about our mental health!

26/01/2026

Trauma doesn’t always look the way we expect it to.

Sometimes it looks like being the one who copes.
The one who keeps going.

The one who doesn’t ask for much.
Sometimes it looks like distance, numbness, people-pleasing, or doing everything alone, not because something is wrong with you, but because those ways of being once made things safer.

So many of the patterns people struggle with aren’t flaws or failures. They’re intelligent responses to experiences that required adaptation.

In therapy, we don’t rush to change these parts of you.
We get curious about where they came from, what they’ve protected you from, and what you might need now.
You don’t have to force yourself to be different to be worthy of support.

And you don’t have to carry it all on your own.

24/01/2026

Some of the things we judge ourselves hardest for were the very things that got us through.

You don’t need to fix who you are to be worthy of support.

You don’t need a better story or softer edges.
If this landed, it’s okay to sit with it for a moment.

And if you’re thinking about therapy, you don’t have to have it all worked out first.

Feel free to reach out if you'd like an initial enquiry call

14/01/2026

Children don't "bounce back" from trauma. They bury it and buried trauma doesn't vanish it leaks out later as anxiety, rage, shame, addiction, and self-destruction. So no, kids aren't resilient. They're hurting.

Credit - Childhood Trauma Disorders (Understanding, Coping, Healing)

12/01/2026

There are many narratives around regulation, and it’s important to recognise that regulation and intensity aren’t exclusive … We’re taught to fear big feelings, loud reactions and emotional spikes.

But for many nervous systems, intensity was once necessary.
Healing isn’t about never feeling it again, it’s about being able to come back from it afterwards, being able to feel intensity and knowing we can settle after without self-destructing 🙌🏻

Want to know how!? Why don’t you reach out via my website 🤍

07/01/2026

Here are the things I'm taking into 2026 as my non-negotiables - As a psychotherapist and woman in her 30's...

07/01/2026

How many children are labelled “naughty” or disengaged in school, when what they are actually carrying is abuse at home?
Perhaps it’s time to change the way we speak about so-called “difficult” children, because behaviour is often communication, and sometimes we simply don’t know what a child is surviving.

A good deal of childhood trauma survivors in the US received these⁠ specific words on their grammar school report cards. ⁠
⁠
"Doesn't apply him or herself."⁠
"Unsatisfactory"⁠
"Needs improvement" ⁠
⁠
As children, we honestly just thought we were dumb, and the adults⁠ were painfully pointing that out again. No one was asking questions, ⁠especially my parents. They accepted I was dumb too. ⁠
⁠
We must be made aware that we were being set up to fail due to what was happening in our home lives. The poor academic performance, social struggles, and poor self-esteem had nothing to do with our brightness or worth. ⁠
⁠
It was about not being able to focus for having other things on our minds. ⁠
⁠
Such as:⁠
-The physical violence from last night in the kitchen.⁠
-The sexual perpetrator we can't escape from.⁠
-The energy vampire or miserable critic that is our parent. ⁠
-Were we going to have to move again? ⁠
-Is my sibling or mom ok?⁠
-Does everyone know about my family at school? ⁠
⁠
I couldn't apply myself like many other survivors because we'd come ⁠home to domestic violence, neglect, and emotional chaos. ⁠
⁠
I want you to know that you were set up for those report cards, and those ⁠messages stayed with me in my subconscious. We were bright, curious, lovable souls who had too much going on to focus. ⁠
⁠
I know this post doesn't apply to all of us. Sometimes academic performance was our way to survive, but if you were like me, you⁠ took in that you were dumb, which was a lie. ⁠
⁠
P.S. - I almost didn't graduate high school and several years later in recovery, I got a 4.0 in my first semester of college. ⁠
⁠
It was all a lie.

04/01/2026

Things I wish every client knew (therapy edition)

1. You don’t need to know where to start.
Therapy isn’t about telling your story “properly”. We can begin wherever you are, even if all you have is “I don’t know”.

2. You’re not too much.
Your emotions, reactions, and needs make sense in the context of what you’ve lived through. You don’t need to shrink yourself here.

3. You don’t have to talk about everything straight away.
Going at your pace matters. Safety comes before disclosure, always.

4. Feeling nervous about therapy is normal.
Especially if you’ve had to cope alone, or if trust hasn’t always felt safe in the past.

5. Therapy isn’t about being fixed.
It’s about understanding yourself with compassion, and finding ways to feel steadier, safer, and more connected.

6. You’re allowed to need support before crisis point.
You don’t have to wait until things fall apart to ask for help.

7. If it feels hard, you’re not doing it wrong.
Growth can feel uncomfortable, that doesn’t mean it’s unsafe or failing.

8. The relationship matters more than techniques.
Feeling heard and understood is often what makes change possible.

03/01/2026

Consider this your cheat sheet on Mental Health:

People with good mental health aren’t happier all the time, more positive, or untouched by struggle. What they often do differently is respond to themselves with awareness rather than criticism.

They notice when something feels off and pause instead of pushing through.

They set boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable.
They rest without needing to earn it.

They seek support before things reach breaking point.

These aren’t personality traits, they’re learned practices.
And if you weren’t taught them, that isn’t a failure.
Good mental health isn’t about perfection.
It’s about how you care for yourself when life gets hard!

02/01/2026

✨ Happy New Year & Rebrand ✨

A little re-introduction post is coming soon, but for now I wanted to share that I’m now taking enquiries for 2026 🙌🏼

If you’re thinking about starting your therapy journey, you’re very welcome to reach out and have a chat about whether working together feels like the right fit for you 💛☺️