22/12/2025
People who are ‘looking for themselves’ aren’t a type of person. It’s a state.
And when, a short time after our sessions, someone finds themselves:
– engaged in meaningful work
– more satisfied
– with their personal life settling into place
that’s a genuine happiness for me. Because at the start, this outcome often looks unlikely in this state:
There are goals — but they feel blurry.
There’s a lot of insight, reflection, learning, “this resonates with me.”
Often, there’s already too much information.
People think, reflect, philosophise, study —
but action is postponed “until I have more energy.”
High nervous system load makes people more suggestible. There’s a belief that “the flow will sort it out on its own.” The flow may be there — but there are no banks, and no oars.
The idea that “If I’m given more space, softness and depth, I’ll find myself” is often an illusion. In practice, it becomes a way of avoiding action.
Instead of measurable change, skills or functional results, the focus stays on feelings, insights and inner experiences.
There’s even a name for this: the potential heuristic — the feeling of movement without movement.
Very often, people haven’t lost themselves at all.
They’re simply exhausted from carrying themselves. In many cases, “searching for meaning” isn’t about meaning. It’s about nervous system overload.
And practice shows something simple:
many existential questions improve significantly
when tension is reduced.
First — regulation. Meaning usually follows on its own.
My work is not about “finding you instead of you.”
I don’t rescue. I don’t create endless “holding space.”
My work is to reduce internal noise so a person can hear themselves — without a microphone.
Most people already know who they are. They feel the direction. They have the capacity.
Fatigue, load, nervous and sensory noise, accumulated mobilisation simply get in the way of using it.
Many come searching for meaning — and leave with a regulated nervous system, starting to act, change things, and live. Often without even noticing the exact moment it happened.
🙌Simple regulation PRACTICES to start 🙌
1. Orientation
Look at your hands.
Name silently:
– 1 thing you see
– 1 thing you hear
– 1 sensation outside the body
– 2 sensations in the body
– 1 factual statement about the present moment (no evaluation)
2. Action instead of “Who am I?”
Do three small actions today:
– one for the body
– one for daily life or close relationships
– one contact outside your home
(“Who am I?” increases disorientation when the system is overloaded.)
3. Sleep
When falling asleep, place one hand on the forehead and one on the back of the head.
Let the body settle.
