Caroline Marr Counselling

01/10/2025

Something I have been reflecting on lately in my work: the extraordinary capacity each of us holds for change, even when we cannot see it in ourselves.
I meet people every day who tell me they are stuck, that they have always been a certain way, that change feels impossible. And then, often without even realising it, they demonstrate something different—a moment of curiosity where there used to be certainty, a pause where there used to be reaction, a willingness to sit with discomfort rather than flee from it.
These small shifts are not small at all. They are evidence of something profound: we are not fixed. Our patterns, our responses, our ways of being in the world—these can evolve. Not easily, not overnight, but genuinely and meaningfully.
What strikes me most is that growth often happens in the places we least expect it. In the conversation we finally have. In the boundary we set even though our hands are shaking. In the moment we choose differently, not because we have conquered our fear but because we have decided our values matter more than our comfort.
You do not need to have it all figured out. You do not need to be perfect or fearless or endlessly resilient. You simply need to remain open to the possibility that tomorrow can be different from today, that you contain capacities you have not yet discovered, that the story you are living is still being written.
I see this possibility in every person I work with. I see it in people who have been through experiences that would break many of us, yet who still show up, still try, still believe that something better is possible. Their courage reminds me why this work matters.
If you are reading this and feeling stuck, or tired, or uncertain about what comes next, I want you to know: you are more capable than you realise. The fact that you are still here, still wondering, still hoping—that itself is evidence of your strength.
The future is unwritten. What you do with this day, this moment, this opportunity to choose differently—it all matters.
I genuinely believe that the best chapters of your story may still be ahead of you.

17/09/2025

To Anyone Struggling with Misinformation and Harmful Content Online

The internet can be a lifeline when you are searching for support or answers about mental health. It can connect you to communities, to encouragement, and to information that helps you feel less alone. But it also carries risks.

Not everything you read or watch online is true. Some content can be misleading, harmful, or even dangerous. Posts that glorify self-harm, promote unhealthy coping strategies, or present themselves as expert advice without evidence can have a serious impact on your wellbeing.

If you find yourself scrolling late at night, looking for answers, and instead coming away feeling worse, please remember this: your mind deserves care, not harm.
• Be cautious about where you seek guidance.
• Look for trusted sources—qualified professionals, reputable charities, or NHS-approved resources.
• If something online makes you feel hopeless, worthless, or unsafe, step away and speak with someone you trust.

You deserve support that heals, not content that hurts. Please know that you are not alone, and safe, reliable help is available.

14/09/2025

To the Men Who Are Silently Struggling

I want to speak directly to you—the man who feels he has to hold everything together. The one who laughs with his friends but feels heavy when he is alone. The one who tells his family, “I am fine,” whilst carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

You have been taught to be strong. To push through. To avoid showing what others might call weakness. But here is the truth: struggling with your feelings does not make you weak—it makes you human.

Bottling everything up may feel safer, but over time it drains your energy, your joy, and your hope. Real strength is not pretending that everything is all right. Real strength is finding the courage to say, “I am not all right at the moment.”

If you are reading this and quietly hurting:

Please know that your feelings matter.

You do not have to go through this alone.

Speaking—whether to a counsellor, a friend, or someone you trust—does not make you less of a man. It makes you a man who values his own well-being.

It is all right to take off the armour sometimes. It is all right to rest. It is all right to feel.

You are not broken. You are not alone. And you are worthy of the same care that you have been giving to everyone else.

Keep going, but do not keep it all in.

19/08/2025

Think you might be codependent?

Here are some signs to look out for: constantly putting others' needs before your own, struggling to say no even when it's unreasonable, feeling responsible for fixing everyone else's problems, losing yourself in relationships by adopting your partner's interests, staying in unhealthy situations because you fear being alone, feeling guilty when you focus on yourself, and having trouble identifying what you actually want or need.

The difference between healthy caring and codependency is simple: healthy relationships involve supporting others whilst maintaining your own identity and boundaries. Codependency means losing yourself in the process.

If this sounds familiar, consider speaking to a therapist. Understanding these patterns can help you build more balanced, fulfilling relationships whilst still being genuinely caring and supportive.

04/08/2025

Here’s a simple yet powerful way to build well-being and resources in your brain and your body, says Rick Hanson and his coauthors.

29/06/2025

The stories are horrifying.
The deaths? Preventable.

Read the full report here:https://www.womensaid.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Child-Homicides-2025-Web-Final.pdf

17/03/2025

Challenging Intrusive Thoughts When You Have Anxiety…

Those persistent worries that won't leave you alone? You're not alone in this battle.

As someone who understands anxiety's grip, I've learned some effective ways to challenge those intrusive thoughts:

Recognise the thought for what it is - just a thought, not reality or a prediction of the future.

Label these thoughts: "I notice I'm having the thought that..." without reacting or responding to it. This creates helpful distance.

Question evidence: "What evidence is there that this thought is true/accurate?”

Challenge the thought: “What is a more balanced way of thinking about this?”

Practice the "worry delay" technique - set aside 15 minutes later in the day specifically for worrying, then postpone intrusive thoughts until then. (If you worry that you won’t remember them, write them down).

It might feel weird to talk to yourself in this way, but if you can become more aware of your inner monologue, you can gradually create a more balanced rational way of thinking about things.

12/03/2025

"Is it true anxiety is a response not an illness?"

As a natural response, anxiety is a normal and even helpful part of the human experience - it's our body's built-in alert system that evolved to protect us from danger. This type of anxiety is temporary and proportionate to the situation.

However, anxiety can also manifest as a clinical disorder when it becomes:

Persistent (lasting for weeks, months, or years)
Disproportionate to actual threats
Disruptive to daily functioning
Difficult to control

In these cases, anxiety disorders might be recognised as legitimate medical conditions. These conditions often involve dysregulation of the body's stress response systems and can have genetic, neurobiological, and environmental components.

So both perspectives hold true - anxiety is a natural response that everyone experiences, but it can also develop into a medical condition requiring treatment, when it becomes chronic and debilitating.

Talking and behavioural therapies can be really helpful with managing all types of anxiety, providing space and support to identify and change negative thought patterns. Therapy can help you to create your own practical coping strategies and self-management techniques that provide lasting benefits beyond treatment.

My own coping strategy involves writing down the things that make me anxious and focusing my thoughts and energy on the things that I can control, whilst giving myself permission to let go of the things that are out of my control.

What works for you?

Feel free to comment and share - you never know, your strategy might be really helpful to someone else...

08/12/2024

03/11/2024

Sitting with your feelings, why does it matter?

In a world that’s always urging us to move, fix, or distract, sitting with our feelings might sound counterintuitive. But taking a moment to truly feel our emotions, (rather than pushing them away) can be a powerful tool for personal growth, mental clarity, and emotional resilience.

Here’s why it’s worth trying:

To gain self-awareness:
Our feelings tell us what we need, what we value, and what might be missing. By sitting with them, we learn more about ourselves and our true desires.

Suppressing emotions can lead to stress and tension that show up in all sorts of ways, from physical symptoms to unhealthy habits.

Feeling our emotions allows us to process and eventually release them, leading to real, lasting healing.

When we sit with discomfort, we learn that feelings (no matter how overwhelming) are temporary and can be manageable. This helps us to be more calm, to build trust and resilience.

When we understand our own emotions, we’re better equipped to understand others and show up authentically in our relationships.

Remember, sitting with your feelings doesn’t mean wallowing or getting stuck in negativity. It is about giving yourself the grace to feel, reflect, and grow. Next time an uncomfortable feeling comes up, try leaning into it, just for a moment. You may be surprised by the peace and clarity it brings.

10/10/2024

🌍💚 Today is World Mental Health Day, a reminder that mental health matters every day, for everyone. It’s okay to seek help, to rest, to speak up, and to care for yourself and others.

Let’s break the stigma surrounding mental health and make kindness, compassion, and support a priority. Whether through a simple conversation, lending an ear, or being there for someone, every little bit helps.

Take a moment to check in with yourself and those around you today. You’re not alone on this journey. Together, we can create a world where mental well-being is valued and nurtured.

22/05/2024