Healingcptsd

17/11/2025

The narcissist's playbook Once a victim of narcissistic abuse puts two and two together, once they figure out there is an actual narcissistic playbook, once they realize there are actual names, definitions and explanations to the abuse tactics they endured in the narcissistic relationship... the game completely changes. Power and control shifts from the abuser, to the victim. Once you see it, you'll never be able to unsee it again. In romantic relationships, in families, in friendships and at work. Knowledge is power.

It's like the scales have fallen from your eyes, and suddenly the puzzle pieces fit. The gaslighting, the love bombing, the triangulation, the projection... it's all so clear now. You see the manipulation, the control, the calculated moves. And with that knowledge, you regain your power. You realize you were never crazy, you were never the problem. You were just a pawn in their game.

Armed with this new understanding, you start to set boundaries, to protect yourself, to prioritize your own needs. You start to see the narcissist's tactics everywhere, and you're no longer fooled. You're no longer a victim, you're a survivor. And that's a powerful place to be.

28/10/2025

Brilliant post depicting the challenges of AuDHD, especially as i enter peri-menopause. I don't feel it as horrific, but challenging and frustrating to want all of the fun of adhd but the asd/sensory processing side needing peace and stillness. I feel frustrated with the restrictions. However, I have learned to protect myself well. I use ear plugs, eye masks, loops, throw lots of self-care and breathwork at it to keep balance, exercise to use adrenaline and energise as well as yoga/swimming for mindful stillness, keep my house in order and well organised, take regular breaks at events tending to move towards open air events as they're less overwhelming, do small group/121 meet ups, drink less alcohol. Lots of little habits that keep me living the life I want. I do have burnout from time to time still, its not perfect, but I manage and then must listen to hibernation when it's needed.

26/10/2025

The Trigger Of Emotional Inconsistency

08/10/2025

💜

03/10/2025

🙌

28/09/2025

26/09/2025

The purpose of a therapy room

— COHUMANS

26/09/2025

The Root of Abandonment

“Abandonment begins long before anyone actually leaves.”
As children, we are born with one sacred need: connection. Safety, love, and belonging are the ground our nervous system grows upon. But when those needs go unmet, through neglect, criticism, inconsistency, or outright absence, we receive the message: parts of me are unsafe, unlovable, or too much.
Instead of abandoning our caregivers (an impossible act for a child dependent on survival), we do the only thing we can: we abandon ourselves.

We silence our voice.
We shrink our presence.
We mask our true Self.

This is the first fracture of the psyche. The child trades authenticity for attachment.
Over time, this silencing solidifies into a survival system:
“If I leave me, maybe they won’t leave me.”
And so, the wound of abandonment doesn’t start when someone walks away; it starts the first time you walked away from yourself.

How It Shows Up Later
In childhood, it looks like:
Becoming “the good one” to earn love.
Hiding feelings to avoid rejection.
Walking on eggshells to prevent loss.
In adulthood, it looks like:
Hyper-focusing on others while ignoring your own needs.
Fear of intimacy or disappearing when things get close.
Shame when you set boundaries or show imperfection.
Obsessing over being “too much” or “not enough.”

The Way Back

Healing begins the moment you realize: the real loss wasn’t them leaving; it was you leaving you.
Notice when you abandon yourself. Do you silence your truth to keep peace? Do you numb instead of feel? That’s the fracture replaying itself.
Choose presence. Instead of running, breathe. Stay with your body. Stay with your feelings.
Reassure the child. Whisper inwardly: “I won’t leave you again.” That is the repair.
Build loyalty to your Self. Each boundary, each truth, each breath of presence is a brick in the home you’re rebuilding.