01/07/2025
How to Calm Your Nervous System When Everything Feels Like Too Much
You’re not overreacting.
Sometimes, what we’re feeling in the present isn’t just about now. It’s our body remembering then—times when we didn’t feel safe, heard, or supported. Even if life looks calmer today, our nervous system can still be carrying the imprint of past experiences. And when something triggers that, our reaction can feel big, confusing, or even overwhelming.
If this is happening to you, take a deep breath. There’s nothing wrong with you. Your body is doing what it learned to do to protect you.
Here are some gentle, practical ways to help calm your nervous system and reconnect to a sense of safety in the moment:
1. Ground into the Present
When your nervous system gets activated, it helps to reconnect to what’s actually happening right now, your body, your breath, your surroundings.
Try this simple grounding exercise:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
This pulls your awareness out of spiraling thoughts and back into the here and now.
2. Breathe Intentionally
When we feel overwhelmed, our breath usually becomes shallow or tight. Slow, intentional breathing tells the body, “We’re safe now.”
One of my favorites:
Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4 (Box breathing).
Do this for a few rounds. Let it be slow and gentle.
3. Offer Your Body Comfort
Your nervous system responds to rhythm, warmth, and pressure, just like a child being soothed.
Try:
Wrapping yourself in a soft blanket
Holding an ice cube or splashing cold water on your face
Rocking gently side to side
Placing your hand over your heart or belly and saying, “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
These small actions can send powerful signals of safety to your system.
4. Talk to Yourself with Compassion
Instead of trying to “talk yourself out of it,” try validating what you’re feeling.
You can say things like:
“This feels like a lot, and that’s okay.”
“Maybe this feeling belongs to an older part of me.”
“I don’t have to fix it all right now. I can just be here.”
So often, what we really need is kindness—not more pressure to feel “better.”
5. Remember: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Calming your nervous system isn’t about avoiding feelings. It’s about creating enough safety inside you to move through those feelings with support.
Therapy, somatic work, breathwork, journaling, these are all powerful tools if you feel ready to explore them. But even starting with moments of self-kindness is more than enough.
One Last Thing
You’re not broken. Your body is wise. It remembers what hurt so it can try to protect you now. But you get to remind it: This moment is different. You’re allowed to feel safe now.
And if you don’t yet, that’s okay too. We start where we are.
Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing beautifully.
Roxanne Bigwood
Thecounsellingpractice@hotmail.com
