Ponderings at Crystaloak

Ponderings at Crystaloak Offering support and ideas to ponder as you move through life Offering affordable Bach Flower consultations and Crystal Healing outside office hours.

My philosophy is that energy healing should be available to all. This means that my fees are negotiable, we can even trade; my lawn always needs mowing or maybe you grow fruit and veg.

** Basic fees **

Bach Flower Consultation - £40. This includes a personalised remedy for you to take away and information leaflet. Your first consultation will last around an hour, subsequent sessions may be shorter. Crystal healing - £40.


** Lower cost options **

As I have mentioned, my fees are fully negotiable, if you want to try a session but have limited funds we can discuss other ways of trading. I also offer free advice on Bach remedies via my page or Skype


** Hours **

I work outside office hours and can generally offer 6.00pm or 8.00pm Thursdays or Fridays along with some weekend slots.

21/03/2026

What happens when you find your tribe....

Yesterday I had a run in with a mechanic at a garage. It had been an ongoing situation with this garage and my very old campervan. He had done the original MOT and failed it, but he was quite abrupt and rude when he told me.

I took it away and got the necessary repairs done in time for it to be eligible for a retest, and, once again he was fairly rude to me even tho it passed.

The first time I let it slide but the second time I spoke up, something that is very rare for me.

As I drove away with my pass certificate I crumbled. Old memories of me failing to be heard and respected when I stood up for myself came flooding back and I felt the fear of experiences going back decades of my life. I was in cptsd flashbacks.

I messaged some friends and they helped me process it and recover, and then I became angry... who tf did this man think he was talking to a grown arsed woman like this?!?!?!?

Today, driving home from picking my car up from my parents' I realised that this experience gave me some clarity that I hadn't had before.

I've known for some months that the pagan group I am part of is something special but I didn't realise that with that as my base I have built a life, in the last year, that is filled with amazing, progressive, kind, people. The reason this man shocked me so much was that he was old energy. Probably in his late 50s, early 60s, completely non-self-aware and blind to his male privilege, he blunders through life being rude and blunt to women that don't matter to him. When I called him out he had no idea that the way he spoke to me was in any way wrong... in contrast I have male friends who are awake and aware. They are kind by default, not out of obligation or training.

I also realised that I had had to deal with men like the mechanic while I was part of another community that I left at the end of the marriage. Whilst my friends were good people, they had around them these old energy men.... and I am done with that crap.

If I do nothing else with my new life I want to fill it with awake and aware people, people who are kind by default, people who lift up, not punch down.

I have made a fantastic start, even the friends I have that are outside the pagan group are like this... and I feel so grateful for them.

Which kind of people do you want in your life, and how are you going to go about finding them?

In my meandering around Facebook I came across a dating method called The Burnt Haystack Method and it piqued my interes...
14/03/2026

In my meandering around Facebook I came across a dating method called The Burnt Haystack Method and it piqued my interest.

Now, I'm not at all interested in dating, I am standing strong in my feelings that, right now, I am done with romance. I'm trying not to be cynical, but I have too many wounds to heal to trust myself to make good choices. But, I am still fascinated by humanity and thought it might be interesting to learn more.

Aside from how terribly I felt the creator ran her Facebook group, and how her insistence that the man pay for dates actually entrenches misogynistic gender roles, I realised, as time went by, her method was, at best short sighted, and at worst ablist and very damaging to the neurodiverse community.

He theory is that you can tell a misogynist or emotionally immature man just by his dating profile and how he responds in messages.

Well, duh, of course you can.... but.... this isn't just the obvious balding larger men in wrap around sunglasses holding a fish. This method picks apart every single word and analyses it looking for red flags, and the rules are so numerous and complex I don't know a single man could pass the test, let alone a dyslexic or autistic man.

There was no room at all for a man to be imperfect, he had to be Disney Prince perfect in every single way in every moment.

Of course, me being me, I thought I was missing something and that my thoughts could not be accurate... until I read this article.

This dating method worries me, genuinely, for 2 reasons.

Firstly, this is leaning into misandry. The way humanity moves forward is not to become man hating. We need to see that men are allowed to be unique, clumsy, shy, and imperfect, just like we need to be.

Secondly, using this method women are encouraged to discard a section of the population that are not great at marketing themselves but can be the deepest, gentlest, caring people; autistic men.

We need to be better than this. We need to lead the way in ending superficial expectations in potential dates. Of course, if the red flags are a flying walk away, but don't cast someone aside just because they are clumsy with words on a profile!

Check out the article, it's an interesting read.

A rebellious approach to online dating has caught fire with women who are sick of most men on dating apps. But will it really help you find…

23/02/2026

In trauma recovery we don't name & describe our pain because we're "wallowing" in a "victim mindset." We do it because getting real & specific is how actual, sustainable change happens—& we're so f*ckng over denial (on both individual & cultural levels).

23/02/2026

One of the things that isn't spoken about when it comes to anxiety, and in particular panic attacks, is that each panic attack leaves a scar. Huge panic attacks can leave you so that you don't trust yourself any more.

I have the amazing opportunity to go to a gig that I never expected to be able to go to, and I am so excited to have snagged tickets, but... as the excitement subsides I am left with so many anxieties I have to manage.

On top of the expected worries about travelling to London, possibly alone, I also have to consider the loss of trust in my ability to cope if it all gets too much.

When you've been in such a dark place that you need to be admitted, you live your life wondering when the next breakdown will happen. You are left with ptsd about just how awful it felt.

From the outside it might look like that is all in the past and they are the same person they were, but they're not.

If you have a friend who's been through dark times, there is a chance some of that darkness will linger for a very long time, cycling in their minds. "What if I spiral down again?".

So, not only will I be working on being super prepared for the journey, I am going to love myself that little bit more so that I can be sure I will be ok.

I am determined to get to this very special gig. I am determined to love myself no matter what.

19/02/2026

Off the bat I want to say that although this topic is full of the need for trigger warnings there is nothing in this post that describes anything... this is a safe post... and if it isn't please tell me what I could have done better.

I'll also endeavour to take down any comments that may be triggering

‐---------

I've been thinking about posting something for a while but I didn't want to be seen as using a bandwagon as a vehicle for clicks... but... I just read something that I wish I hadn't and want to talk about it.

I know most, if not all, of my followers are British but the Epstein situation has made it's way over the pond so it's closer to home.

If you have any trauma, of any kind, I want to say, it's ok for you to need to stay out of it, to block people, hide posts, or do whatever you need to protect your mental health.

You don't need to bear witness to this, you have done your part in surviving your own stuff, please don't let these evil people harm you again by taking on what they did to others.

Being a good human can take on many guises and there are people who are able to handle things that we can't, and that is ok. There are enough people in the world that can do what needs to be done, none of this is on you.

So please, take care of yourselves, feed the algorithms kittens and ferrets, pop by to my other page The Happy Place (I'll link in the comments) and trust that the light is doing its work without you needing to be harmed too.

Please, stay safe.

It's hard watching what is happening in the USA when you're over here in Britain.  It's so easy to be sucked into being ...
12/02/2026

It's hard watching what is happening in the USA when you're over here in Britain. It's so easy to be sucked into being a witness to the atrocities feeling that at least being a witness means we are doing something... but, we also need to look after ourselves and I figured something very simple we can do. We can engage with posts about the good things that are happening, like the post I have pasted here.

This post doesn't sugar coat it, but it reminds us there ARE amazing people over there doing Light's work.

The Light is fighting back and that needs supporting. Don't let the darkness win in the battle for your heart. It will drag you down and smother you. Instead be inspired and hopeful because there is light fighting back.

We will get through these dark times.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1cYjtiWRk2/

They were going to be the helpers that Mister Rogers said to look for. In early January, Natalie Ehret brought her sons to the Henry Whipple Federal Building -- the nerve center of ICE's months-long operation in Minneapolis -- to hand out cookies and hand warmers to the protesters keeping watch across the street. She didn't know people were being released from detention there in the frigid Minnesota winter.

Then one of her sons called her over. He'd found two young women who had just been released. They were freezing with no phone, no ID, and no ride. He'd already brought them to the family's car, given them food and water, and handed them a phone to call home.

Within days, the Army veteran and mom of two sons had founded Haven Watch -- a round-the-clock volunteer operation stationed at the gate of the Whipple building. Because what her son stumbled into that afternoon wasn't an anomaly. It was happening every single day. "From his act of kindness," Natalie later told MPR News, "that's what we do every day."

Like most Minnesotans, Natalie had no idea that federal agents were simply releasing people into the dead of a Minnesota winter with nothing.

But the pattern, once she saw it, was unmistakable. And appalling.

Detainees were being turned loose from Whipple at all hours -- day and night -- almost always stripped of their phones and identification during detention. No phone call before release. No one waiting for them outside. They walked out in whatever they'd been wearing when they were grabbed. Often without a coat. Into temperatures that regularly plunged into the single digits.

One volunteer, Kim Gerdes, described the moment it clicked for her: "They released someone in front of the Whipple Building in no winter clothes. It was freezing cold. She was just out in the cold." Gerdes gave the shivering woman everything she had on her -- her gloves, everything. "That's when I realized there was this immense need."

Another time, a mother and two children, ages 2 and 6, walked out of Whipple without coats. They had been detained in a facility in Texas holding thousands of people before being returned to Minnesota and released with nothing. "These kids are traumatized," Gerdes said. "They're out in the cold. They're shaking, crying. They just went through something so horrible."

The stories of who was being swept up and dumped back outside defied belief.

Natalie estimated that 60 to 70 percent of the people she met at the gate were American citizens. Detained for nothing more than observing ICE operations. Blowing a whistle at an agent. Being the wrong color in the wrong place. Stories like these have poured out of Minneapolis for months -- citizens tackled on sidewalks, dragged from cars, detained for hours, and nearly always released without charges or explanation.

Mubashir Khalif Hussen, a Somali American born in the United States, described a masked agent sprinting at him at full speed, tackling him, and dragging him handcuffed through the snow. "I told him, 'I'm a U.S. citizen.' He didn't seem to care."

Hussen was taken to Whipple and eventually released -- told to walk the seven miles in the freezing cold back to where he'd been grabbed.

Others -- legal refugees, immigrants with valid documentation -- were pulled from cars on the way to work, showed their IDs, and still dragged to Whipple. "To say that they're not criminals is a total understatement," Natalie said. "They're business owners and kids."

Gage Garcia, a U.S. citizen, was shackled and held for hours after blowing a whistle in an agent's face. He could see immigrant detainees through one-way windows -- "crying, curled up in a ball, distraught."

Inside Whipple, the conditions were horrendous. A Star Tribune investigation -- based on interviews with 30 detainees and nearly 200 court records -- documented a facility designed for 12-hour holds that had devolved into something far worse. Cells meant for 20 crammed with 100 people. Barely any food. Bleeding and injured people denied medical care. A young Muslim woman was shackled at the ankles and locked in a bathroom with three men for 24 hours.

The operations inside were as chaotic as they were cruel. U.S. citizens detained at Whipple described agents who couldn't figure out how to open doors, wrote detainees' information on scraps of paper, and took mugshots on personal cellphones. One Navy veteran who was detained summed up the disorder: "Their operations are, just for lack of a better term, garbage."

Many people are held overnight or even multiple days in a facility with no beds, forcing people to sleep on concrete floors in freezing conditions with no blankets. Natalie described how she's had several teenagers in her car after being released "crying and shaking, telling me how cold they were."

"After some of these I just go cry in the parking lot because it's so devastating," Natalie reflects. "I just don't know how we got so lost that we can traumatize these people that are our community members."

For its part, DHS issued the same statement it always does -- that detainees receive "proper meals, medical treatment, and opportunities to communicate" -- but in a court hearing last week over its own failures to comply with release orders, a Department of Justice attorney admitted what everyone already knew: the system "sucks."

And for those that were released -- many of them hungry, sick, or injured -- they were walking into a Minnesota winter where exposed skin can develop frostbite in under ten minutes. Where being released outside without a coat isn't just cruel -- it's potentially lethal.

But as they have again and again over these past few months, ordinary Minnesotans stepped up when they saw their neighbors suffering. Here, they did it again -- with Haven Watch.

Volunteers in orange vests now station themselves outside the Whipple building around the clock. They never know when someone will walk out -- but someone always does and the need has only grown. Natalie told MPR News this week that "if anything, we're seeing more people coming through."

So the volunteers wait with warm cars idling -- all day and all night. Piles of donated coats in the backseats. Burner phones charged and ready. Snacks and water on hand. When the gate opens, they cross the street, bring the person to a car, hand them a phone, and stay with them until a ride arrives or drive them home themselves.

"So many of us were sitting at home doom-scrolling, watching it on the news wanting to make a difference," said volunteer Sarah Haraldson. "This was a way to do that."

But the work is devastating. The day-to-day vigils -- hours spent waiting in their cars, never knowing when someone will walk out -- are physically taxing. And the emotional toll of meeting person after person who has been traumatized, abused, or injured by their own government is relentless.

"Most people are upset, no matter how long they were in there and why they were taken in," Haraldson said. "I have had more grown men cry in my car in the last week than anyone should see."

For Haraldson, it's personal. She has a 20-year-old son, adopted from Ethiopia as a baby, who is a naturalized U.S. citizen. "It scares me every day when he is out that they could pick him up and put him in that building based on the color of his skin and nothing else."

The message Haven Watch carries to every person who walks out of that gate is simple.

"We want people to know as they come out of that building that we love them, and they are our friends, they are neighbors, they are family, and people love them and want to support them."

The story of what Haven Watch was doing spread quickly, and with it came a wave of support that stunned even its founders.

A GoFundMe campaign launched on January 17 has raised more than $700,000 from over 9,800 donors -- and support keeps growing. What started with phone calls and car rides has grown into something much larger. Haven Watch now operates a full website and has expanded into a broader community resource: legal and immigration questions, healthcare referrals, lost wages, rental assistance for families whose breadwinners are too afraid to leave home.

Countless Minnesotans have stepped up as volunteers, embracing the group's motto: "No One Walks Alone."

The need is not going away. Even with a drawdown of 700 agents from the area, there are still over 2,000 federal agents in the Twin Cities area. This is a massive number. It is still one of the largest occupations of an American city by the federal government in history.

People are still being grabbed. Still being held. Still being released with nothing into the bitter cold.

For many of them, the first kind face they see belongs to a Haven Watch volunteer in an orange vest.

"After I've seen who comes through that gate, I just can't be at home thinking we're missing someone," Natalie reflects. "Emotionally it feels unsustainable. But that's being human. I shouldn't pick my son up from soccer and pretend I didn't just hear a story that's so painful that it changed me."

The toll is immense. But so is the resolve. "We won't stop," she says. "But we are tired."

The simple act of waiting at a gate with a warm car and a charged phone is not a small kindness. It is the thing standing between a stranger and the cold. And right now, thanks to Natalie and the volunteers of Haven Watch, no one walks out alone.

----

To support the critical work of Haven Watch, you can donate to their GoFundMe campaign at https://tinyurl.com/mraxxt9v

To learn more about how to get involved as a volunteer, visit https://havenwatch.org -- or check out their current call for supplies at https://www.facebook.com/people/Haven-Watch/61586826632816/

To take action: The deadline on the new DHS funding is this Friday. Call your Senators to block any new funding for ICE at (202) 224-3121 or use the action alert at https://5calls.org/issue/dhs-budget-ice-defund/

To listen to a new interview with Haven Watch founder Natalie Ehret on MPR News, visit https://www.mprnews.org/episode/2026/02/10/grassroots-group-haven-watch-grows-to-support-released-detainees-from-whipple-building

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For children's books that encourage empathy and understanding of Mighty Girl immigrants of the past and present, visit our blog post, "A New Land, A New Life: 25 Mighty Girl Books About the Immigrant Experience" at https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=12855

For Mighty Girl books that teach children about the value of helping others in your community, visit our blog post: "Making an Impact: 40 Mighty Girl Books About Charity and Community Service” at https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=10983

For empathy-building book for young kids about the importance of compassion and being kind to others, visit our blog post "25 Children's Books That Teach Kids to Be Kind," at https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=19359

For books for children and teens about the importance of standing up for truth, decency, and justice, even in dark times, visit our blog post, "Dissent Is Patriotic: 50 Books About Women Who Fought for Change," at https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=14364

For books for tweens and teens about girls living under real-life authoritarian regimes throughout history that will help them appreciate how precious democracy truly is, visit our blog post "The Fragility of Freedom: Mighty Girl Books About Life Under Authoritarianism" at https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=32426

To stay connected with A Mighty Girl, you can sign-up for A Mighty Girl's free email newsletter at https://www.amightygirl.com/forms/newsletter

02/02/2026

Whilst I'd like to think I've made my politics clear enough to fend off right wing followers, this reel is important and complements the spiritual deconstruction I've already been working on.

If you're interested in "wellness" this is worth a watch.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1DTqWa5TMR/

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