18/04/2020
The next time I hear a Birthing woman told she's 'not in labour' whilst she sits there CONTRACTING, I might have to throw my laptop out the window.
👨⚕️So, a little note to anyone who's ever uttered that 'harmless' phrase, 'oh, you're not in labour yet'. Labour has stages, sure. The 'three' stages- 1, where the cervix is dilating. 2, where the body pushes the baby out. 3, where the placenta is born. That's what the textbooks tell us. But it's more than that. I'd call them 'levels' or 'depths'. When a woman is having contractions, there's maybe no pattern to them, maybe she's alert and can engage in conversation in between. Maybe they feel mild to her, maybe they feel really bloody intense to her (only she gets to decide that by the way).. If you got really nosy and decided to poke around and feel her cervix, it might still be hard and posterior. It might 'not even be opening'. She may not be in the deepest level of labour yet, no, but she IS IN LABOUR.. Look at her! LISTEN TO HER. This is NOT A TICKBOX EXERCISE. It is the most wondrous meeting of science and spirit, the most intricate dance of hormones and emotions, this moment that you are privileged enough to be a part of, is going to be pivotal in the outcome of this whole birth. That tiny human's life is potentially going to be impacted forever by what you say in this moment. That new mother's most profound memory ever.. Her physical health, mental health, identity as a parent, establishing breastfeeding... Yep all of that.. Impacted by what you say when that woman, (that real human person with feelings and emotions) sits there in front of you, simultaneously her most brave and her most vulnerable.. contracting.
Do me a favour? Don't ever tell her.. 'you're not in labour'.
🤰Pregnant folk! Know this. No one else gets the right to define what you are or are not feeling. So much of labour cannot be seen from the outside (or by poking around on the inside for that matter). Every little ni**le, nudge, pain, surge, ache is doing something. It might be helping your baby rotate. It might be helping them move more deeply into the pelvis. It might be helping your cervix soften or become stretchy. But, Your cervix is not a crystal ball, it doesn't hold the answer to what labour will look like in 1 hour or 10. Your body doesn't lie to you, it is your greatest guide through all of this. If you do one thing in labour, listen to it ❤️. You can do it. You ARE doing it RIGHT NOW.
Beautiful image Cat Fancote - Capturing Birth