03/03/2026
I'm going to tell you why I've posted a topless picture, but first some context.
I'm a physiotherapist who treats holistically. But you're in pain, so why does your mental health, stress, nutrition, and sleep matter so much?
If I'm being honest, I hate social media. I hate the perfectionism it portrays. Yet I too fall into wearing a mask to portray a marketable image.
What's that got to do with pain?
We chase perfection in rehabilitation too. We paralyse ourselves through fear of failure. You see, I've hidden behind a smile my whole life. A smile that says "I'm okay." It hides the self-loathing, inadequacy, and destructive self-criticism. I've aligned my self-worth with how I've looked and my physical abilities.
My injury means I can't train or play the sport I loved. I've gained weight. Without an athletic body, I doubt my ability to find or keep a partner. I wear t-shirts to bed to avoid seeing my belly in the mirror. This feeds a cycle of feeling like a failure.
But this runs deeper than physical appearance.
I battle demons daily. I pretend I'm okay. I smile. I put that mask on. Then I go home and cry watching an advert about nappies lol (who crys over nappies)
I have no idea why I have waves of emotion I can't control. I've been on depression medication. As a youngster I used, or abused, alcohol to hide the real, shy person I am.
When I talk about mental wellbeing, sleep, nutrition, and stress impacting pain, it's not from a book. It's because I live it.
This is way out of my comfort zone. But this is my attempt to be real and show that yes, I have dents and cracks. But I'm still going. And if I can, you can too.
This may be too raw for some. That's okay I knew it wouldn't be for everyone.
However, one thing I'm proud of: no matter how rubbish I feel, I dig deep and pour what little energy I have into the people I work with. So they don't have to feel like this. So they can gain just a little hope in what seems hopeless.
So this is me. Take me as I am or don't. Either way, it's cool. But know that despite my flaws, my intentions are pure and come from place of empathy, experience, and genuine passion to help.