12/04/2026
Loving the honesty hereā¦.thereās no shame in taking antidepressants
I take anti-anxiety meds. Apparently that means my faith is broken.
A pastor on the internet told me this week that I shouldnāt be taking them. That no Christian should be on long-term antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds. She said that if I had true faith, I would not need them. That if I truly trusted God, I would not need them.
Cool, cool, cool.
The worst I got was when I had preschool children and my brain turned on me. It was a combination of hormones, stress, starting a new business, running out of money, and having a child with additional needs who was undiagnosed. All of it together added up to one conclusion: I was a bad mum. My brain broke on me.
I made a commitment then to get on meds and stay on them, stay in therapy, and stay with God. All three have worked like a slightly chaotic group project where, for once, everyone actually does their part.
After Holy Week, I was hiding from the world and doom scrolling. I saw her video and felt a gut punch. I felt like a failure. She pushed the one button that is still so vulnerable.
Like this is a secret Iām not meant to have.
I take other medication for my body, and I donāt feel any shame about that. So why is there shame here? Why does this feel like something Iām not meant to say out loud?
Itās because of this clobber verse:* āPerfect love casts out fear.ā People use it as a weapon to mean: if I really knew Godās love then I wouldnāt have anxiety.
That if I was still anxious, it must mean something in my faith is broken.
My anxiety is not from a lack of faith. In fact, my faith has been the one thing that has held me together, time and time again. If anything, when it got so bad that I could barely leave the house, faith was the only thing I didnāt lose.
I still knew that God loved me.
That God cared for me.
That God would carry me through.
And He did.
Perfect love doesnāt always remove fear all at once. Sometimes it casts it out daily. And again. And again.
God was with me in the darkest moments of my life. He didnāt abandon me or leave me. He carried me.
Perfect love casts out fear. And it does. But for me, it looks like this.
I take my fears to God every day.
Sometimes I write them down and pray over them.
Sometimes I just tell Him everything and then get on with my day.
I give God my fears the way other people say grace before a meal. Constantly. Repeatedly. Every single day.
And together, God and I get through the day.
And yes, I also take medication. And go to therapy. Turns out, God works through those too.
Today is Low Sunday. The Sunday after Easter. Low Sunday is not a celebration of those of us who are prone to mental health struggles, but I like to pretend it is. It feels like it fits.
So Happy Low Sunday. And bless all of us who take the damn meds.
Bless you my friends,
Rev Jessie
* A clobber verse is a Bible verse people use to hit others with. You get āclobberedā by them. Itās always nice.