26/12/2025
In my life I never imagined I’d be visiting a prison on Boxing Day - or on any other day.
The truth is, none of us end up with the life we imagined we’d have.
There is next to nothing about my life that followed the naive ‘white picket fence’ dreams of my girlhood…
I remember, about 17 years ago, one of my dearest childhood friends bouncing her baby on her hip, standing in her country cottage vegetable garden, her dog lying lazily in the sun, exclaiming ‘How did I end up with your life instead of mine?!’
You see her life hadn’t worked out the way she’d planned (a word to the wise, the withdrawal method is highly ineffective!) and, for different reasons, neither had mine.
Still, it’s easy to mourn the lives we never had. The happy marriage we didn’t have, the friends we didn’t make, the house we didn’t buy, the career path we didn’t take, the language we didn’t learn…
But life rarely follows the script we once wrote in our minds.
And maybe that’s the point.
Macmillan famously said when asked the greatest challenge to statesmanship ‘events, dear boy, events’.
Perhaps that might also be true of life - an affair, a divorce, an unexpected illness, a death, infertility, a bankruptcy, a heart attack, a mental breakdown, the betrayal of a friend…just one of those can lead us into living the sort of life we never ever imagined for ourselves.
Certainly not one we would have chosen for ourselves.
I’ve personally come to the conclusion that the life I thought I wanted wouldn’t have been big enough to hold who I was meant to become.
If I’d had the life I wanted I would have been fairly shallow & selfish, I’d have developed very little empathy or compassion, and no resilience or strength. I’m sure it would have been a wonderful life - but perhaps not one of much worth.
So, instead of mourning the life that never was, let’s celebrate the one that actually IS.
Life is a gift. And like some Christmas gifts, it may not have been the one you’d have picked out for yourself…
It might well be radically different from the life we pictured, but it holds its own kind of magic.
Precisely because it’s the life we have.
And the life we have is exactly the one that can grow us into who we’re placed here to be.
And, in remembering that, we can also be a gift to life.
Sending Boxing Day blessings.
Ali x