Andy the Aspie

22/07/2025

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🌙 Saturday Self-Care: Managing Autistic Burnout
Autistic burnout is real and exhausting. It's your nervous system's way of saying 'I need a break from masking and overwhelming demands.'
Signs of burnout: • Increased sensory sensitivity • Difficulty with tasks that were once manageable • Emotional overwhelm • Physical exhaustion • Loss of speech or increased stimming
Recovery strategies: ✨ Reduce demands where possible ✨ Increase sensory accommodations ✨ Practice unmasking in safe spaces ✨ Prioritize rest and regulation ✨ Seek support from understanding people
Prevention tips: • Regular self-care and downtime • Honoring your sensory needs • Setting boundaries • Recognizing early warning signs
Remember: Burnout is not your fault. You're not broken - you're human. 💙
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21/07/2025

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Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone. www.learninginlife.com

19/07/2025

Copied and Pasted from Josh Langley's page:

Hi everyone, Andy here (Josh's husband).

I'm sorry, but it is with enormous sadness that I have to tell you that Josh passed away peacefully early yesterday morning.

Through his books, presentations, workshops, and everyday conversations, Josh endeavoured to help make the lives of others just that little bit easier with his messages of love, compassion and kindness.

When the dust settles, and I feel strong enough to face the world again, I will try to find a way to make sure his messages are not lost. I don't know what that might look like, but I'll think of something.

Josh was important to the world, and as he always liked to say, 'You are loved, and you are important to the world.'

17/07/2025

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15/07/2025

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14/07/2025

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11/07/2025

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That’s the rule. But walk through a mall, a clinic, or a classroom and you’ll hear it break. The moment someone realizes they’re speaking to a person with a developmental or intellectual disability, their tone shifts. It softens, flattens, rises into that sing-songy cadence reserved for infants and pets. Their words get simpler, slower, like the person in front of them has disappeared and been replaced by someone needing “special” treatment.

And here's the truth, that tone of voice doesn't come from kindness. It comes from assumption. From years of a society that decided people with intellectual disabilities are somehow less. Less adult. Less capable. Less worthy of being spoken to like everyone else.

It’s a tone that says, “I’m talking at you, not with you.”

And people with disabilities hear it all the time. Every day. It wears on them. It chips away at dignity.

So here’s a challenge: keep your tone. The same one you use for your neighbor, your colleague, your cousin. Speak with respect. Speak with belief in the other person’s worth. Speak like someone who knows they’re talking to an equal.

Because that’s exactly who’s in front of you.
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ID: Fionn holds cardboard sign above his head that reads “Change your tone of voice for babies and dogs only!”

10/07/2025

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I was visiting an intellectual and developmental disability service when a young autistic man walked up to me and looked me straight in the eye. I began to introduce myself, but before I could finish, the service manager cut in, “He’s level 3, he's severe!” she barked. The young man looked down at his hands, turned, and walked away.

I wasn’t told his name, how he communicates, what he loves, what makes him laugh. The label had spoken so loudly, it drowned out everything else. I felt a wave of sadness and quiet anger, not just at the words, but at how quickly they erased the person standing right in front of me.

“Severe,” she called him, and just like that, expectations get lowered. Don’t expect too much. Don’t try too hard. Don’t listen too closely. When labels are used in this way, they don’t describe people; they describe how others have chosen to treat them.

The thing is, people aren’t products on a shelf. You can’t line them up and rank them mild, moderate, severe like grades of cheese or weather alerts. The problem with this kind of labeling is that it flattens people. It turns rich, complex human lives into medical shorthand.

What’s “mild” about struggling to make friends? What’s “severe” about needing help to speak but having deep insight to share?

People are more than their support needs. When we use labels like this we’re not supporting them, we’re limiting them. The truth is, everyone communicates, everyone connects, and everyone deserves to be seen as fully human. Let’s not let a label get in the way of that.

Instead of reaching for labels, let’s reach for understanding. Say how someone communicates, what brings them comfort, what excites them, what they want from the world.

Our support should start with listening, not sorting. When we lead with curiosity and respect, we open the door to real connection, and that’s where true support begins.
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ID: Man standing looking at his iPad. Words over his eyes read 'Severe Autism.' Text above image reads: Why you need to stop ranking autistic people.

09/07/2025

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Sleep is something I've struggled with from the moment I was born...

My body clock has always been messed up or irregular...

I spend most of my life living on a few hours sleep at the early hours of the morning when it's light outside...

Lately my ADHD/PDA/Autistic son has been the same too, staying up multiple nights in a row... struggling to fall asleep, living on limited hours...

I struggle with relaxing or going to sleep when my family and pets are still roaming the house and creating noise...

My son has just informed me that from now on his bedtime will be 2am, he has set an alarm himself and was quite proud of that fact...

So I said that seems like a good choice he's made for himself, and I have already decided I will apply no pressure for him to stick to that time... now we see what happens...

I want him to be able to find his rhythm and his most effective time of day for himself, and for his mental and emotional wellbeing...

It's taken a long time of unlearning everything parenting advice has ever told you, and learning what my child who has a drive for autonomy and needs to make decisions for himself rather than have demands put on him needs from us as parents...

And what I've learnt is that he needs kindness, support, understanding, validation, patience and a sense of humour because no lie this s**t is fu***ng hard for both of us 😅😅😅

06/07/2025

Well, that was an eventful weekend. Saw the ConIFA men's Asian Cup Final in Surrey, and then took a detour around South Wales to watch some forgotten indie band.

04/07/2025

Just off to watch the ConIFA Asian Cup Final. At a leisure centre in Walton-on-Thames. I never claimed to be normal. Have a great weekend, all.

03/07/2025

Very interesting perspective from a fellow neuro-divergent blogger.

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Visiting my family in Poland

Every year/two years I try to go to Poland with my mum to visit my family. Unfortunately I never learnt polish so there's always been a very difficult language barrier, that as a neurodivergent person, I found very challenging to navigate.

I found social interactions very awkward and anxiety inducing. The culture is also different to what I'm used to, but sometimes I even find that I'm confused with British culture. Having an English dad and a Polish mother means I've grown up with a unique mixture of what feels normal to me.

When I was younger and in Poland, people would laugh around me and sometimes it would be about me - it definitely wasn't meant to be mean in any way but when you don't understand the language and you're hypersensitive, I felt like everyone was laughing at me and I was being made fun of.

I've had many meltdowns in Poland, feeling out of place, like I don't belong even if I was around my own family. I try to learn Polish on duolingo now so I understand a lot more, however they have different endings to the words depending on your s*x and that's very confusing when we don't have that in the English language.

This holiday in particular was for my mum to see her sister that she hadn't seen in 17 years. So it was lovely to see the reunion and meet my cousins I'd never met. They are from America so again there was a culture difference.

Sometimes the opinions of my family don't align with mine and I found it frustrating. Sometimes I wanted to do things others didn't and I felt a bit trapped.

However, I used mindfulness in my moments of anger and I tried to see the positive in every situation. With this in mind, I had a lot of fun moments and tried to communicate with my family more than I've ever done before. It's crazy how a shift in mindset can change everything. I felt incredibly close with my mum and I loved that aspect.