Kids Mind Skills - Kids Coaching and Mindfulness.

Kids Mind Skills - Kids Coaching and Mindfulness. Life, wellbeing and emotion coaching for kids. Creating happy, confident and resilient kids.

Life, wellbeing and emotion coaching for kids and teens - incorporating mindfulness.

Stop the cycle of trauma being passed down to your children - give them the space and opportunities to work things out a...
27/04/2022

Stop the cycle of trauma being passed down to your children - give them the space and opportunities to work things out and give yourself time and support to heal and identify your own wounds so you don’t pass them on. Children need space to be children without holding responsibility for the emotional wellbeing of the adults and caregivers in their lives.

Simple but so helpful - don’t shy away from talking to your teen. Really useful information and so spot on!! 🙏😊
24/08/2021

Simple but so helpful - don’t shy away from talking to your teen. Really useful information and so spot on!! 🙏😊

I noticed my daughter was acting odd the other day after school, but I didn't think much of it as I watched her climb the stairs with her head hanging low. She is a teenager,

28/02/2021
14/01/2021

Words can be hard sometimes. The right words can be orbital and unconquerable and hard to grab hold of. Feelings though - they’ll always make themselves known, with or without the ‘why’.

Kids and teens are no different to the rest of us. Their feelings can feel bigger than words - unfathomable and messy and too much to be lassoed into language. If we tap into our own experience, we can sometimes (not all the time) get an idea of what they might need.

It’s completely understandable that new things or hard things (such as going back to school) might drive thoughts of falls and fails and missteps. When this happens, it’s not so much the hard thing or the new thing that drives avoidance, but thoughts of failing or not being good enough. The more meaningful the ‘thing’ is, the more this is likely to happen. If you can look behind the words, and through to the intention - to avoid failure more than the new or difficult experience, it can be easier to give them what they need.

Often, ‘I can’t’ means, ‘What if I can’t?’ or, ‘Do you think I can?’, or, ‘Will you still think I’m brave, strong, and capable of I fail?’ They need to know that the outcome won’t make any difference at all to how much you adore them, and how capable and exceptional you think they are. By focusing on process, (the courage to give it a go), we clear the runway so they can feel safer to crawl, then walk, then run, then fly.

It takes time to reach full flight in anything, but in the meantime the stumbling can make even the strongest of hearts feel vulnerable. The more we focus on process over outcome (their courage to try over the result), and who they are over what they do (their courage, tenacity, curiosity over the outcome), the safer they will feel to try new things or hard things. We know they can do hard things, and the beauty and expansion comes first in the willingness to try.

11/01/2021
10/11/2020

Girls with autism often go undiagnosed because they don’t fit autism stereotypes and may mask symptoms better than boys do. Many more boys than girls are diagnosed on the autism spectrum: more than four boys for every autistic girl.

03/11/2020

Clinginess has an important job to do, and it does it beautifully, but not always at a time when it’s needed. This is when it can be distressing for everyone - not just for kiddos but also for the adults who care about them.

There is nothing that feels okay about leaving them when they are upset, but clinginess as isn’t a sign that they can’t cope. It’s a sign that, in the moment, getting over the line feels tough. Clinginess is a powerful response that is designed to move kids closer to their important people when they are feeling the threat of something new, stressful, challenging, or when being without you just makes things feel too big for a while. It’s designed to keep them safe. The problem is that it can happen when there is no threat.

Our response will depend on the situation. If their anxiety is triggered because of the move towards something important or meaningful, give them a cuddle then a quick goodbye. They’ll settle quickly (probably quicker than you!) but they need you to be their brave. Make sure whenever you can that there is another adult there whose care they can rest in - someone who can help them feel safe enough so they can be brave enough.

If their anxiety is because their world feels shaken, hold them, cuddle them, and sit with them as much as they need you to and as much as you can. When their world feels fragile, you can’t love them big enough. Give them as much as they need. Physical closeness, warmth, and touch release oxytocin. Oxytocin is the ‘bonding chemical’ and it’s released when we feel close to our important people. Here’s the magical part – the amygdala has receptors for oxytocin. When the amygdala receives a juicy dose of oxytocin, it will calm. .

The main thing to remember is that clinginess is a sign that they are feeling vulnerable, not that they aren’t capable of doing the important, meaningful things they need to do sometimes. They will BE ready before they FEEL ready. The hard part for us as parents is figuring out when to keep them close, and when to encourage them forward. The question to ask then is, ‘Do I need to help them find their brave, or do I need to help them find a soft place to shelter for a while?’💕

25/09/2020

Would you be more likely to take advice from someone who listened to you first, or someone who insisted they knew best and worked hard to convince you? Our teens are just like us. If we want them to consider our advice and be open to our influence, making sure they feel heard is so important. Being right doesn't count for much at all if we aren't being heard.
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Hear what they think, what they want, why they think they're right, and why it’s important to them. Sometimes we'll want to change our mind, and sometimes we'll want to stand firm. When they feel fully heard, it’s more likely that they’ll be able to trust that our decisions or advice are given fully informed and with all of their needs considered. And we all need that.

22/09/2020

Sometimes silence means 'I don't have anything to say.' Sometimes it means, 'I have plenty to say but I don't want to share it right here and right now.' We all need certain things to feel safe enough to put ourselves into the world. Kids with anxiety are thoughtful, observant and insightful, and their wisdom will always have the potential to add something important to the world for all of us.

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