Butterflies Independent Funeral Celebrant and Ceremony Creator

31/08/2025

When parents die, life is never the same. No matter our age, we lose the safe haven of their love. Their hugs, their soothing words, their constant presence — all gone, leaving a silence that echoes deeply. We are no longer just children; we become orphans in a world that suddenly feels colder and harder. Even with our own families, the longing remains. Their faces, voices, and love are etched in us forever. Deep inside, the child we once were still yearns for their protection, comfort, and warmth — a love that once felt eternal but is now only memory.

From: Thankful

23/07/2025

Direct Cremation?

I am sure you will have seen the TV adverts that have been playing (repeatedly at certain times of the day!) advertising the low costs and hassle free of a direct cremation. What does this actually mean? Here is an excerpt from an informative piece from the Scotland Herald with the Funeral director Tim Purves.

"Direct cremations are frequently advertised as no-frills, low-admin options for individuals who do not want a fuss and would prefer a basic funeral. Yet this does not convey the reality.

With no option for a service or ceremony, and little to no input from family or friends, direct cremations prevent mourners from saying a personal goodbye to the deceased. There is no opportunity to visit the coffin or pay respects, the cremation taking place in a facility and at a time convenient to the funeral director.

In this way, direct cremations minimise mourners’ opportunity to grieve. Grieving is an essential part of the bereavement process and the emotional impact of joining others to say goodbye, to share memories, to celebrate and commiserate should not be underestimated. Cutting out this ritual can leave a legacy of unresolved grief and regret for families later down the line.

It is worrying to see direct cremations positioned as the answer to tackling funeral poverty in the UK, thereby eliminating choice for families who are struggling to deal with the cost of living crisis. This attempt at a "quick fix" for a deep-rooted issue does not take into account the long-term emotional consequences of losing the opportunity to properly grieve a loved one."

There are alternatives available and they should certainly be looked into before making the final decision. I had a conversation with one of our local funeral directors and even they had told me that after pricing up a cremation at a local crematorium it only worked out approximately £50 cheaper than to have a burial here at Westmill (not then taking into account the extra costs if the ashes are later interred, which can be hundreds of £'s ). We always try to keep our prices as low as we can and offer an alternative and options to those who might have to consider the financial aspect as the forefront of their decision making. We also offer the opportunity for people to come and spend the time they need here at the burial ground to grieve and mourn without a time limit. Not to mention the positive environmental impact a natural burial has in comparison to a cremation.

Certainly something to consider the next time you spot the usual people advertising on the TV having a chat in the bath or whilst trying on suits!

*Photo from Pure cremation TV ad*

22/07/2025

Birmingham rock legend Ozzy Osbourne has died at the age of 76.
Updates: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cn0qq5nyxn0t

20/07/2025

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”

Pericles for this week's 💙💛

27/06/2025

If you have been affected by the case covered in last night's episode of Murder 24/7 on BBC Two, and believe you may be a victim of domestic abuse there are a number of organisations that can offer you help.

▪️ Report domestic abuse to West Mercia Police: https://orlo.uk/hiLgB
▪️ Clare's Law: https://orlo.uk/KwHKM
▪️ Women's Aid: https://orlo.uk/LJM2R
▪️ Ask for Angela: https://orlo.uk/VbpX1

📞 Remember to always call 999 in an emergency 📞

27/06/2025

Lots of messages last night following the brave BBC appearance by John Hunt and his daughter Amy.

Such an honour of him to read this poem and bittersweet as always to know my book LOSS has been helpful.

In loving memory of Carol, Hannah and Louise who lived with love as their lead and leave a legacy of more.

Love to anyone grieving.

❤️

From my book, ‘loss: poems to weather the many waves of grief’

27/06/2025

21/06/2025

19/06/2025

🔥 URGENT CALL TO ACTION: WE NEED YOUR HELP 🔥

From The Good Funeral Guide CIC

We’ve spent hundreds of unpaid hours creating a careful, fair, and vital questionnaire about people’s real experiences of direct cremation.

We’re doing this to gather the evidence no one else will. Not the advertisers. Not regulators. Not the big-money providers.

🟢 But we have a problem: after a month, we only have 47 responses.

That’s not enough to speak truth to power.
That’s not enough to challenge £32 million in advertising spend.
That’s not enough to protect the public from being misled.

👉 If you care about funeral truth, choice, dignity, or transparency — we need you. Today.

Please:
1. Take 5 minutes right now to share this link on your website, your socials, your email list, your client newsletter.
2. Tell people why it matters.
3. Don’t just like this post — act.

📩 Here’s the link to share:
https://forms.gle/3zP8Uf1m37HBRT4RA
(or go to the “direct cremation” tab on the Good Funeral Guide website: https://www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/direct-cremation)

Funerals matter.

Help us evidence it.

19/06/2025

15/06/2025

means a lot of different things to different people ❤️

Remember to reach out if you're struggling

30/03/2025

Henri Nouwen for this week's 💙💛