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🪴Boy Mama | Certified Inner Child Trauma Therapist
Counselling Psychology Undergrad
Learn to set boundaries + Heal Triggers
🎙️Motivational Speaker

28/09/2025

🫶

27/09/2025

Have you ever said yes when you wanted to say no? Or put someone else’s comfort before your own, even when it left you feeling drained?
 That’s people pleasing. And it’s not just about being “nice” it often runs much deeper.

People pleasing usually begins as a survival strategy. As children, we may have learned that love, safety, or acceptance came when we kept others happy. Maybe approval was praised, conflict felt unsafe, or our own needs were overlooked. Over time, we learned to put others first as a way to protect ourselves.

Here’s what that can look like in adulthood:

* Struggling to set boundaries
* Feeling guilty when saying no
* Avoiding conflict at all costs
* Measuring self-worth by how much we do for others

People pleasing isn’t a flaw. It’s an old coping mechanism that once helped you feel safe. The challenge is that as adults, it can leave us feeling disconnected from our true needs and exhausted from carrying everyone else’s.

Healing begins with awareness. Noticing where you abandon yourself for approval is the first step to creating healthier, more balanced relationships, ones where your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

When you think about your own life, where do you notice the pull to please others at your own expense?

☁️💫

25/09/2025

WOMAN DOWN 🤒

Lately, I’ve fallen into a trap of working a lot to avoid my big feelings and my over active mind. Even with all the knowledge and healing in the world, sometimes you will go back to default mode 🤷🏽‍♀️

Why?

Because it’s familiar and “safe”

Your brain doesn’t understand logic, it understands danger and patterns. The minute your cortisol levels raise it kicks into defence mode. It will try to steer you to safety as quickly as possible even if “safety” isn’t all that safe for you!

What have I learnt this month?

My body absolutely keeps the score… I knew I was falling sick and I pushed on anyway to the point where my body shouted louder and has forced me to stop and take a breath.

My body needs down time to rest so I can perform at my very best.

Biggest lesson learnt:
Being busy doesn’t solve problems, it just distracts!

22/09/2025

Sometimes it’s the strongest smile, the loudest laugh, or the most put-together person in the room who is quietly fighting battles no one else can see. 💔

Check in on your friends.
Ask twice.
Be gentle with others (and yourself)

You never know the weight someone is carrying✨

21/09/2025

My son has had this comforter since he was small. It’s more than just a piece of fabric, it’s safety, it’s familiarity, it’s the thing he could hold when the world felt too big.

Many of us grow up and lose sight of those simple comforts, but the need behind them doesn’t disappear. As adults, we still long for safety, connection, and soothing, we just look for it in different places.

Sometimes, when those needs weren’t met consistently in childhood, the inner child within us can carry wounds that show up in our adult lives: in our relationships, in how we cope, and even in how we see ourselves.

I help people reconnect with those parts of themselves that still need comfort and healing. Because you deserve to feel safe, held, and whole, not just as a child, but as the adult you are today.

🤎

20/09/2025

Meaning, there is an underlying emotion, so we must uncover that emotion and learn to express it.

Alot of times that underlying emotion is one that we have not truly felt safe to express and instead of feeling vulnerable we mask it with anger because anger does not leave you feeling vulnerable, or weak.

💭

19/09/2025

There’s something that hits different when being called baby…

It can feel surprisingly healing and nurturing because it taps into something deep within us.

From childhood, tender names are often paired with love, safety, and care, so hearing them as adults can awaken those same feelings of comfort.

It also speaks to the inner child, the softer part of us that longs to feel held and accepted without conditions.

On a biological level, nurturing words can even trigger oxytocin, the bonding hormone that helps us feel connected and safe. In a world where we are so often expected to be strong and independent, being called baby reminds us it is okay to soften, receive, and be cared for. 💫

I nicknamed both of my boys this when they were young because being so close in age it was a quick way of getting their attention at the same time however since then it’s become a “thing” I call everyone it… my boys, my dogs, my friends, my staff, random children I don’t know 😂

✨ Do you find being called baby comforting or does it bring up something different for you?

17/09/2025

This isn’t just baking, it’s nervous system regulation 🫶

I’ve felt a bit wonky this week, I have a lot of changes going on and felt I needed to ground before my body goes into fight or flight.

Baking flapjacks or banana bread isn’t just about me enjoying some snacks later. It enables my brain to switch off, create, my body to soften and allows me to watch my boys enjoy some yummy food (definitely not healthy food as I put a ton of sugar in these) but you get the idea.

There are many parts of me and most of them require me to show up with masculine energy, alpha vibes which I don’t mind as it’s got me this far however a lot of responsibility comes with that energy and it doesn’t allow me to just be. In fact, it takes over my mind, stops me getting decent rest and has me overthinking at 1am.

I used to refuse to step into my soft era because I thought the world would end if I dropped the ball, if I stopped micro managing EVERYTHING. Now, I understand it’s important for both sides of me to co exist.

So, here I am! Doing exactly what I recommend all of you to do and that’s sit in it. Sit with the changes, allow them to happen and stop trying to keep a hold of things with 2 hands. It won’t do your mental health any good and it’s amazing how much clearer you are about situations when your brain has a chance to rest and just be. Even if it’s just for an afternoon.

After taking these out the oven, I jumped in a hot bath, put on clean fresh jams and made a hot water bottle! Im now enjoying snugs on the sofa with my not so little boys. Literally my idea of heaven 💭

15/09/2025

If you have to shrink yourself, silence your voice, or bend out of shape just to fit in… it isn’t right.

Your nervous system knows when something is aligned and when it isn’t. That tightness in your chest, the overthinking, the exhaustion, there signals, not flaws.

Regulation isn’t about forcing yourself to stay calm in places that aren’t safe for your spirit. It’s about creating spaces where your whole self can breathe, expand, and thrive.

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