Effective Thoughts

Effective Thoughts Highly experienced Life, Leadership and Trauma Coach - facilitating triumph over challenge since 2006. Offers 1-1s and group coaching services.

Writer of 'Invisible Damage' - recovery guide from narcissistic or emotionally unavailable parents. This page publishes regular Life Coachy/change/values/positivity related updates.Effective Thoughts is a provider of:~ 1-1 coaching~ Group coaching workshops~ Group facilitation Insta: Associations: BetterUp; Association for Coaching; TWP; Fitfarms

No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth. - Martha BeckIt takes co...
26/01/2026

No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth. - Martha Beck

It takes courage, but authenticity is essential to our sense of peace.






Emotional injury processing Processing an accute emotional injury differs for us all. It involves recognising the feelin...
22/01/2026

Emotional injury processing

Processing an accute emotional injury differs for us all. It involves recognising the feelings, and integrating the experience.

For me, (a CPTSD recoveree with an old habit of enmeshment and fawning) it is a s l o w process.

My recovery from an emotional upheaval generally follows these steps, some may be similar how you process..

Day 1 - Shock, forcing calm:
- Externally calm & holding space for others (this will not be how everyone reacts)
- Problem solving where possible
- A feeling of disbelief
- Dysregulated/wired

Day 2-3 - Resisting the situation whilst observing the emotions:
Wanting things to be different (resistance)
Worrying about the future
Tears/talking/writing
Feeling desperate to fix things
Exhausted
Dysregulated/wired

Day 3-4 onwards, generally for 7-10 days - Accepting the reality, integrating the emotions while the body processes:
Emotional acknowledgement & acceptance
Regulation becomes the norm again
Physically, in a lot of pain - joints, muscles, feelings of inflammation, digestive issues, difficulty sleeping
Exhausted

So, why share this?
To normalise that processing takes time and is multilayered. Judging or shutting any of this down prolongs the emotional injury.
To encourage us all to notice phases where we might get stuck.
To grow understanding that we may exhibit different behaviour and go through different phases. These could be all at once, or in a different order.

Knowing our processing patterns can help us to stay attuned, curious, patient and compassionate - essential attributes for healing.

21/01/2026

'Doing your best' is what you can do within your current capacity.

Other measures of your perception of doing your best give way to negative judgement.

Your best is not -
What you feel obliged to do
What others might expect from you
What other people do
What you used to be able to do

Slowing down enough to check in with ourselves builds that connection so we learn what is realistic for us to achieve.





16/01/2026

What would you appreciate letting go of? What would you gently allow to sail away with the current?

15/01/2026

First Aid = Self 1st.

My Outdoor First Aid course*, to support my upcoming outdoor coaching, reminded me of the need to prioritise ourselves.

The 1st step as a first aider is to assess our own safety (before approaching then checking alertness and airways).

This is a metaphor for life. You will have heard that you need to fill your cup, put your oxygen mask on first, the message is the same: that you matter.

Your capacity level is an essential consideration in order to be of service.

* Shout out to Tor Lea Training in the beautiful Peak District for a fantastic 2 days of training. Info@torleatraining.com

These words from a thoughtful Google review nailed it - "simple and yet easily overlooked" 👌Honouring our feelings somat...
11/01/2026

These words from a thoughtful Google review nailed it - "simple and yet easily overlooked" 👌

Honouring our feelings somatically, without judgement, is transformational to enable resolution of stuck emotions, trauma, and beliefs. In session, combining this with co-regulation and EMDR allows for the sweet spot of dual-awareness, which is necessary for resolution.

Combined with multiple daily regulation check-ins and reminders of safety (essential 'homework'), relief from feelings of stress, dysregulation, chronic pain, and anxiety follows for most people.





06/01/2026

Nervous System regulation is essentially a reconnection - to the body, to this moment.

It's simple, but.. this is important - it takes conscious repetition.

The more we regulate/reconnect, the safer we feel. The safer we feel the more we can problem solve, connect to others, feel calm, and be compassionate to ourselves.




THIS THURSDAY 😁Who's joining us? Please share. Worthing's Netwalking By The SeaWhen? 2nd Thursday of the month, every mo...
06/01/2026

THIS THURSDAY 😁
Who's joining us? Please share.

Worthing's Netwalking By The Sea

When? 2nd Thursday of the month, every month. Start at 9.30 am. Meet at the front of the Pavilion.

Where? A 5km/3m ramp accessible route from Worthing Pavilion to George V Ave and back - do as much as you like.

Why? Combines connection with humans, the outdoors, and movement.

This is a free, informal event with no booking required. Participation is voluntary. Each participant is responsible for their own safety, behaviour, belongings, and weather appropriate garb.





New Year question for people in the Northern Hemisphere from a Coach...Winter is a time of restoration. For you, how doe...
31/12/2025

New Year question for people in the Northern Hemisphere from a Coach...

Winter is a time of restoration. For you, how does this sit with societal pressure to set new year goals?

- For some, winter will offer space to think, dream, plan
- For others, goal and resolution setting will feel wrong when rest comes 1st.

This is just a reminder that it's OK.

Whatever you choose, whatever feels right, it's OK.

Those last two get forgotten the most. They are the most important. Completing any to-do list requires prioritising YOU....
22/12/2025

Those last two get forgotten the most.

They are the most important. Completing any to-do list requires prioritising YOU.

I know this can feel impossible, but there are always things that can wait, be dropped, be relaxed or be left to someone else.

Even taking 5 minutes makes all the difference.

21/12/2025

Worried about being triggered/overwhelmed this Christmas/holiday time? Dreaming of a REGULATED festive time?

Can you spare 43 minutes and just £12 (special offer until 31st December - see code below*) to gain understanding of the nervous system, on feeling overwhelmed + practical tips to help?

I have the recorded masterclass for you.

🎄This knowledge is important for this season because you cannot think clearly when your nervous system is dysregulated. You do not have full cognitve function.

Buy for yourself or for a loved one.

🌱 Learn nervous system cues
🌱 Practise regulation techniques to build self-trust
🌱 Improve your ability to recover from overwhelm
🌱 Increase self awareness
🌱 Reduce anxiety spikes
🌱 Improve cognitve focus, and recover faster from setbacks

This is a 1 stop recorded video module, with reflective course notes that offers a toolkit you can use in real time.

Link in my bio, link tree. Or go to effectivethoughts.co.uk/masterclass
https://tr.ee/7MP9B3BsQ8
*reduced to £12 with the code 25OffFor2025

Or DM me and I will send the link

Feeling overloaded?Just a reminder to ask yourself...Is this expectation realistic?Is it necessary?Does it have to be me...
18/12/2025

Feeling overloaded?

Just a reminder to ask yourself...

Is this expectation realistic?
Is it necessary?
Does it have to be me?
Does it have to be now?

And... breathe...




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Worthing
BN115

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Monday 9am - 6pm
Tuesday 9am - 3pm
Wednesday 9am - 8pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

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