Effective Thoughts

Effective Thoughts Highly experienced Life, Leadership and Trauma Coach - facilitating triumph over challenge since 2006. Offers 1-1s and group coaching services.

Writer of 'Invisible Damage' - recovery guide from narcissistic or emotionally unavailable parents. This page publishes regular Life Coachy/change/values/positivity related updates.Effective Thoughts is a provider of:~ 1-1 coaching~ Group coaching workshops~ Group facilitation Insta: Associations: BetterUp; Association for Coaching; TWP; Fitfarms

19/03/2026

30 second reset 🔊

Pause, notice, release tension




17/03/2026

Masterclass on Overwhelm & The Nervous System:

🌱 Learn your nervous system cues
🌱 Practise regulation techniques to build self-trust
🌱 Improve your ability to recover from overwhelm
🌱 Increase self awareness
🌱 Reduce anxiety spikes
🌱 Improve cognitve focus, and recover faster from setbacks

This is a 1 stop recorded video module, with reflective course notes that offers a toolkit you can use in real time.

Feedback on this course - "I thought it was wonderful. You are so calm and clear, and the pace/pitch was great. It flowed really well, kept my attention and I liked the structure with introduction, the slides, the exercises etc and the checking in. A nice balance of info and also things to do.
I think the examples were lovely, I really liked when you talked about the day, imagining waking up dysregulated (or not) and how accumulative it is gathering through the day. That made a lot of sense. I also loved the be like a dog bit. Hadn't thought about dog stretches and shakes like that before!

I think the course is really informative and interesting. The demonstration of regulation techniques was fab, and I did the butterfly hug! It was interesting you saying to regulate throughout the day at transition periods. I hadn't thought of doing that before." - Sally O'Brien

Link in my bio, link tree. Or go to effectivethoughts.co.uk/masterclass
https://tr.ee/7MP9B3BsQ8





One of the most common causes of distress I see, having coached people for 20 years.. Ignoring what we need, in favour o...
11/03/2026

One of the most common causes of distress I see, having coached people for 20 years..

Ignoring what we need, in favour of staying quiet, keeping the peace or 'being nice'

Impacts include repression, resentment, overwhelm, dysregulation, self-betrayal.

So, yes, speaking up, saying 'no' or setting boundaries can feel scary...

But that fear is fleeting and the alternative is damaging.

If you are curious about how coaching can support your courage to be authentic, book a free consultation via my profile.




09/03/2026

How to level-up by boosting bravery.

We can easily talk ourselves out of doing that difficult thing. Whether it's doing something new, speaking publicly, having a difficult conversation or setting boundaries, our fearful responses can override our courage. We need a conscious approach...

3 STEPS >

1 - Name it: The trick is 1st to acknowledge the fear. It's understandable.

2 - Regulate nervous sysyem: By bringing focus back to the body/senses in this moment, we can return to a sense of safety and ascertain if we need to move or calm ourselves.

3 - Switch to Brave mode: Then, we can reassure ourselves as we would a best friend. We are brave, mistakes are what learning is all about, and we are always learning.

Bonus points for reflecting on the bravery AFTER we have taken a courageous step. This builds trust that we can do difficult things.





04/03/2026

The necessity for attunement and co-regulation in coaching.

There are functions that only human coaches can provide, and are essential to allowing mental capacity for clarity, creativity, problem solving: - Attunement and Co-regulation.

Hearing the words "I feel so much better already" reminded me of this hugely important part of coaching.

As a novice coach, 20 years ago, I might have rushed through an individual's need to co-regulate. I wanted to add 'value' and get to the part where someone has full awareness and actionable steps. Whilst this was somewhat useful, I was inadvertently allowing the continued stifling of the creative brain.

When we are dysregulated we cannot think straight. We are primed for survival, not for exploration of perspective or solutions. Feeling attuned to by a regulated-other is an effective way to bring us back to full cognitive function.

Curious about working with the nervous system in coaching? Book a free consultation via my link/website.





Worthing's Netwalking By The Sea - Next one is Thursday 12th March.When? 2nd Thursday of the month, every month. Start a...
04/03/2026

Worthing's Netwalking By The Sea - Next one is Thursday 12th March.

When? 2nd Thursday of the month, every month. Start at 9.30 am. Meet at the front of the Pavilion, Worthing.

Where? A 5km/3m ramp accessible route from Worthing Pavilion to George V Ave and back - do as much as you like.

Why? Combines connection with humans, the outdoors, and movement.

This is a free, informal event with no booking required. Participation is voluntary. Each participant is responsible for their own safety, behaviour, belongings, and weather appropriate garb.




The healing power of Nature to improve focus...- Problem - overwhelmed/lacking in focus/ on edge/generally stressed/fati...
28/02/2026

The healing power of Nature to improve focus...

- Problem - overwhelmed/lacking in focus/ on edge/generally stressed/fatigued?
- Treatment - Nature relaxes the brain, allowing restoration of our capacity to focus.
- Dosage - 120 minutes per week around something natural (grass, trees, water). That's 17.14 minutes per day! Dosage is a much-asked academic question. Essentially any nature connection is better than none.

1 theory relating to the brain's concentration capacity = Attention Restoration Theory. (Rachel & Stephen Kaplan). It comprises 4 parts:

- BEING AWAY
Separate from the everyday
- SOFT FASCINATION
Attention without effort
- COHERENCE
Immersive, greater perspective
- COMPATABILITY
Passively restorative, supportive - we instinctively know how to find relief and restoration in nature

This is 1 academic theory. We all know we feel better after a visit outdoors. We just know.





23/02/2026

When we put ourselves down, we can learn to acknowledge the thought and reclaim our power.

We put ourselves down as a way to protect us from old hurts, of feeling overwhelmed and powerless, that we couldn't fully process in childhood.

This risk is no longer relevant, but the thought shows up because our system is still in fear of the hurt repeating.

> We can...
- notice it and name it.
- label it as an old brain circuit trying its best.
- regulate by reconnecting to our body.
- make a conscious choice of what we CAN do. As an adult, we have the power.

Coaching is a great way to mentally explore triggers and reduce overwhelm, and to somatically resolve old wounds. If you're coaching curious, book a free consultation via my profile.




My week of having AI supervision for some of my leadership coaching sessions* Although it was a bit weird/cringe to see ...
19/02/2026

My week of having AI supervision for some of my leadership coaching sessions*

Although it was a bit weird/cringe to see my words scrutinised, it gives a useful snapshot of how coaching sessions can go.

AI:
You invited the client to set the session's focus, supporting client autonomy

You facilitated productive transitions by recalling past context

You used targeted questions to explore beliefs and surface practical barriers

You encouraged reflection on successes already achieved

You encouraged small, concrete steps to support client progress and accountability

You create spaced for the client's self-reflection about their own needs

You affirmed and celebrated the client’s courage and progress

You partnered with the client in designing a new self-supportive approach

You facilitate your client's insight through reflective listening and summarization

You empower client autonomy by inviting them to lead risk assessment and monitoring

If you're coaching curious, book a free consultation via my profile link.

*with agreement from the client

18/02/2026

*Allowing* rather than ignoring or repressing boosts our capacity for change and our ability to recover from stress.

Just having awareness and noticing our nervous system, feelings, and responses will build our self trust.

Self trust is our superpower - it allows us to face adversity and uncertainty.

It can take a lot of practise to develop self trust after a lifetime of overriding our feelings and needs, but we will start to see the advantages of just noticing very quickly.

If you don’t know where to start, my coaching can help. You can book a free consultation via my link.





How to be assertive when it feels scary and difficult. 1. Acknowledge the fear. It's understandable, most of us grew up ...
18/02/2026

How to be assertive when it feels scary and difficult.

1. Acknowledge the fear. It's understandable, most of us grew up being told off or quietened for stating our needs.

2. Reassure self, those parts of us that are scared ("I can be brave", "I've got this"). Regulate your nervous system by reconnecting to the body in this moment.

3. Use assertive language ("I want to"/"I need to") without offering alternatives or apologies. Stick to the purpose.

4. Let go of trying to guess the outcome. This includes preemptive over empathy of how the other person might feel. Fear can lead us down story pathways towards outcomes that might not happen.

When we are not used to advocating for ourselves, it feels hard. But we can recognise that and do it anyway 👏





12/02/2026

Conflicting or coexisting?

Notice the 2 seemingly opposing forces and directions in the flow of the water.

If you use nature as a metaphor - How does this relate to your experiences, as a individual and as part of a system?





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BN115

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