15/12/2025
Youโre probably gonna need a cuppa in hand, whilst you read this somewhat lengthy post.
For someone who grew up afraid to use her voice and speak up,
sharing our personal story in 4 National News Publications has been surreal.
Also, some may say why are you sharing something so personal?
However, itโs an issue that has themes that touch many people in our society and I believe itโs an important conversation to have.
My hope is to help raise awareness around the issues of fertility, cancer and being childless.
Growing up, like many women, my self worth was measured on my ability to keep others happy, not rocking the metaphoric boat, and being the โGood Girl.โ
As this is how we were told we got our needs met and how we found our place and value in society.
As a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser, speaking out and putting myself out there, especially online, felt unsafe.
What if someone disagreed?
Or judged me, or hated me or even threatened me?
Speaking up and sharing my voice didnโt feel safe,
only in very small trusted relationships.
Even that took work, therapy and coaching to help me do so.
One day a few years ago, during a vision board workshop I was co-delivering I expressed the admiration of my colleague about her ability to speak up, and very publically. She seemed to not mind if others disagreed with her.
In fact she enjoyed a good debate.
Time passed and I forgot the conversation, but the seed had been planted.
Then the catalyst for change happened.
Thanks Universe.
I experienced a Missed Miscarriage whilst training in Circle Facilitation.
I was held in Circle, whilst experiencing the most devastating heartbreak.
Iโd never felt held like this before.
It gave me the strength, space and permission to talk about what was happening with the people in our lives.
I would have drowned in Shame if I hadnโt.
Donโt get me wrong, it wasnโt an easy ride, but I felt supported and less alone.
A year later, when a Molar Pregnancy resulted in Cancer,
this was another turning point.
Well you canโt exactly hide you have Cancer, can you?
But hereโs how the majority of interactions went.
Them, โHow are you?โ
Me, โErm, OK. Iโm not too well at the moment. I have cancer.โ
Them, โOh Iโm sorry to hear that. Is it breast cancer?โ
Me, โNo, itโs quite a rare cancer, most people havenโt heard of it. Itโs called Gestational Trophoblastic Disease (GTD).โ
Them, โOh, whatโs that?โ
Then, Iโd end up explaining how Iโd got cancer from a pregnancy.
My husband and I both agreed that feeling like educators,
especially whilst still living it and processing it had been hard.
Plus, for me, with the joys of chemo brain fog.
When I met a journalist who wanted to share our story, with a kind and caring approach.
My husband and I agreed that I should.
If it could help others in a similar situation, then that would be a positive outcome.
If someone else experiencing it could say Iโve got GTD.
The hope, theyโd be met with,
โIโm so sorry to hear that. Iโve heard about that condition before. Iโm sorry for your loss.โ
Then, if that person wanted to end the conversation there, they could, and hopefully not feel the need to educate others whilst still in the mix of it.
(Equally, if they wanted to carry on the conversation or educate others they could. Itโs their prerogative.)
For someone who grew up scared to share her voice, this has been a massive achievement.
It hasnโt been an easy one at times, it has taken support from my inner circle, therapy, working with my nervous system, supporting my body, and allowing myself to rest and solitude to recharge.
At times it felt like a full time job.
My hope for sharing my story is it will help others not to feel alone, and to raise awareness.
For anyone who is experiencing anything similar, Iโll send you so much love and hope you are treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
Love Sophie xx
