Jilly Whitham Counselling

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Jilly Whitham Counselling

MBACP counsellor offering mental health support to the people of York and nationwide through online therapy

20/10/2025

I ran the this weekend and, while delighted to have finished, I found myself also noticing disappointment that I was humbled by the final hill (the “Everest of York 🤣) and took much longer to complete it than I would have liked. I had to walk up it (I’ve run up it many times) or risk fainting so close to the finish!

I also noticed frustration with myself- I couldn’t just “push through” (despite losing a month of training to injury before the race!). Alongside this, a whole raft of other feelings - gratitude for the amazing support, awe at the dedication of others, overwhelm at the massive sensory experience, fear that I could be injured for other events, pride that I had run more of the miles than I thought I might be able to after injury.

I could list even more but hopefully I have illustrated how emotions can layer with complexity and under the surface lies the core of what’s important to us. Understanding what is there is where possibility opens up, and therapy can help with this deep connection to self.

16/10/2025

“Look deep into nature and you will understand everything (better)” - Albert Einstein

I love this quote and think there is so much wisdom to be gained from nature. The striving, adaption, growth, evolution. I want to extend this and suggest it’s not even just about looking, but feeling and being in nature can offer us profound understanding as well.

What kind of understanding does offer you?

07/10/2025

is the non-judgemental observation of feelings, thoughts, states, experiences and environments.

It is a tool that can help our emotional agility and regulation and I think Autumn is absolutely the most amazing opportunity for mindful time in nature!

I was really struck by the glorious colour of this stunning red crabapple tree recently and taking a moment to really notice it led me to discover a whole host of other beautiful berries and burnished autumn fruits I hadn’t noticed before!

Taking any opportunity to slow down and notice what’s around you in nature might be just what you need 🍁🧐

30/09/2025

I’m back in the office and utterly delighted with my pumpkin 🎃 harvest, after a very shaky start last year and a yield of zero 😩 (the slugs were well fed though 🤣).

As I took this picture of them all lined up on the little wall, I thought about how it might be if pumpkins could think. Would the small one envy the size of the large (or vice versa), the yellow envy the “normal” orange colour or the orange envy the unusual/unique yellow? Perhaps the skull shaped one would just wish it had a more typical rounded shape (I had to rescue this one from tumbling out of a raised bed 🤗), or the rounded ones might wish they stood out a bit more with an eye-catching silhouette.

What I would want to show those thinking pumpkins is that comparing ourselves can negatively impact our sense of self worth and the way we see our own strengths and abilities. Gratitude isn’t a byproduct of happiness, but rather the other way around. When we can be grateful about what we have we can feel happier!

That said, it is a very human (not pumpkin 🤣) thing to compare ourselves with others. We do have more agency over our own direction. Sometimes, it can be helpful to look inwards and see if the direction we are pointing lines up with what really matters to us. But that is by looking inwards, not outwards.

17/09/2025

I’ll be off adventuring again in the 🏔️ and 🌊 and perhaps even a spot of 🔭! Nothing nourishes me quite as well as the staggering awesomeness of nature. Especially at this time of year, when the seasonal shift presents change as a beautiful opportunity full of golden potential! 🍁

I know this is a time of year you may be looking to make a change, and great changes can often be made through therapy. Whilst my practice is currently full, I anticipate a space becoming available in November - contact me if this might interest you!

08/09/2025

While this is not an outfit I would wear to therapy sessions 🤣, I am firmly of the belief that fun is an important ingredient in mental wellbeing.

For me, therapy can sometimes, but not always, be fun! Laughter can be a stress reliever as well as a social-bonding enhancer. Shared comedy moments can represent deep relational attunement in therapy 🌊.

02/09/2025

For I wanted to highlight the therapeutic potential of writing a letter of gratitude, empathy or compassion to your former or future self.

This can provide a way of connecting with your emotions and making sense of your thoughts and beliefs.

You could also write a letter to another person who has played some role in your life (it is not necessary to send such letters for therapeutic benefit).

can be so helpful in increasing your self-awareness and has great healing potential!

28/08/2025

I have a theory about the therapeutic benefit of dogs and I remember wondering, when I was training, if dogs could offer the 3 core conditions for therapeutic change.

Briefly, these are:

- understanding and sharing the feelings of another. As well as their own family, dogs will even approach and offer support to strangers in distress, suggesting a level of and empathy. They may not have the same capacity to offer empathy but these other forms are so powerful!

- a non judgemental valuing of another, also termed
I think dogs really win here - I’ve never felt judged by dogs for my quirks or questioned for my food/music/clothes or any other choices!

- a genuineness and realness where outward expression matches inner feelings.
I do believe dogs wear their feelings on their faces- they don’t hide the fact they want to eat the sausages off the BBQ 🤣

I understand that not everyone will find dogs therapeutically beneficial, but I do feel being able to offer these qualities might go some of the way to explaining why many people do!

19/08/2025

I had the privilege of visiting Kielder Observatory recently in a wonderful area of the UK. This means minimal and so many more things are visible including the breathtaking

This got me thinking about what we see when we feel that life is dark and perhaps all we want is to rush back to the familiar “lights” of cities and civilisation, and others. Maybe in these instances what could really help is someone alongside us, with a (metaphorical) telescope, 🔭, helping us to see what was perhaps always there but unknown, and helping us make sense of things.

04/08/2025

I will be out of office for adventures and relaxation and will respond to any messages on my return!

28/07/2025

Sending out some today to anyone who might be

Sometimes the dirt and the dark and the hard stuff can be our source of strength, just like my gorgeous red 🌻 here gathering nutrients from the soil.

But sometimes we need a bit of sunshine and water too - literally, but maybe also metaphorically too?

My “sunshine” can be a doggy snuggle (one of my dogs has the nickname sunshine ☀️!) and my “water” can be time spent in nourishing nature with favourite people.

What would your “sunshine” and “water” be?

24/07/2025

Today is 💚

I’m sharing campaign to remind you that Samaritans are always there to listen 24/7

Whatever you are going through please know that your thoughts and your feelings can be heard. Please reach out 💚

Address

Blossom Street
York
YO241AQ

Website

https://www.jillywhithamcounselling.com/

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