Jilly Whitham Counselling

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Jilly Whitham Counselling

MBACP counsellor offering mental health support to the people of York and nationwide through online therapy

13/01/2026

Therapy is a great place to get to know, name and understand your emotions without being carried off the road by them!

The Ancient Greeks likened the balance between the rational and emotional brain to the power of the relationship between a horse and rider. Without the rider to guide, the horse can be wild and heading for trouble. But without the horse, the rider has no power or energy. The beauty is in what each brings and the balance between the two.

05/01/2026

First post back after a refreshing (and hectic) festive break and I am just filled with gratitude for the work I do and the wonderful people I work with.

Last year has been a year of such growth, enlightenment, holding, learning and connection. Here’s to 2026 and another year of deep understanding and empowerment.

Currently my practice is full, but please do still reach out if something about my approach resonates. I do operate a waiting list or can thoughtfully recommend colleagues based on your needs ❤️

15/12/2025

A message of for when we struggle; hardship and painful experiences can actually be the conduits through which we develop resilience, grow, and shine in luminous new ways. This is not to diminish the suffering of pain, but to acknowledge also its potential teaching, burnishing, fortifying and galvanising capacity. Therapy is a place to be curious about all of the facets of your

08/12/2025

I wasn’t sure what picture might best illustrate this concept but I thought perhaps this dessert looked tempting and something perhaps many might say a default yes to!

Another pondering on boundaries which feels seasonally relevant- if our default is yes, then is it really a yes? We might over-invest for many reasons- fears of missing out, how we have been socialised, influence from family/friends. However, every time we say yes, we say no to something else. It’s worth reflecting if what we are saying yes to is more important than what we are saying no to.

02/12/2025

It’s grief awareness week (2nd-8th December) and I want to acknowledge and hold space for those who may be finding this time of year particularly difficult. While grief is a natural, very human experience, it can affect everyone differently.

You may need different things at different times and my hope is that we can normalise conversations about grief and express the complex symphony of emotions that accompany it. Sending my wishes for peace, healing, hope and growth to all.

24/11/2025

For anybody who needs to hear this today, especially as we move closer towards holiday season and potentially more social, emotional and time pressures.

I love this quote by Prentis Hemphill, encouraging the perspective that actually boundaries increase our capacity for and

19/11/2025

This I wanted to highlight the disparity in accessing mental health care - men are less likely to access this type of support than women. Only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are for men.

Men may face gendered stressors relating to conforming to traditional masculinity norms. This can discourage and emotional expression. For those who endorse traditional masculine norms, the need to constantly prove socially their manliness (according to Vandello and Bosson’s precarious manhood hypothesis) increases the risk of anxiety and depression.

The ability to be open to receiving compassion from others is a buffer to depression. My message to men is this:

Therapy is a place you can be heard, you can feel that compassion (even if you can’t offer it to yourself) and there is more power in being vulnerable than in the precarious (over) self-reliance and emotional suppression of unhealthy masculinity.

While I do not currently have space for new clients (it is likely until at least January at this point), I always welcome you reaching out if you feel I can support you. I do operate a waiting list and can also offer thoughtful referrals to colleagues if this would benefit you.

10/11/2025

I spotted this wonderful apparently known as lawyer’s wig while out running this weekend. It really captured my imagination with its majestic height and tufty texture against a pale pink covering. Of course being as obsessed with nature as I am, I had to find out more!

So here is where I feel we might be similar to mushrooms 🍄:

Mushrooms have hidden depths… what we see is not all that is there, in fact we are just seeing a temporary fruiting body. This can apply to us too- what we/others see is not all that is there! Sometimes we’re not clear on what is unseen ourselves, and this is where therapy can help.

Mushrooms are complex. Originally classified as “lower plants” they were thought of as primitive and simple. They are so far from this! People are complex - understanding and holding each person’s experiences as unique and important is central to my life-philosophy (and therapeutic-philosophy).

Mushrooms depend on symbiotic relationships. Trading nutrients with plants for carbohydrates, they rely on connection for survival. Similarly, we depend on others for emotional connection, regulation and other resources. Disruption to the symbiosis of these relationships can be a source of distress for us.

I won’t be looking at mushrooms in quite the same way again!

05/11/2025

I loved the dramatic backdrop of the stunning Whitby Abbey for this amazing display of lights! It’s made me think of the Walt Disney quote:

“Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows”

I feel often people can find it difficult to acknowledge/accept that shadow and light are intertwined in this way. Therapy is a space to explore both the light and the darkness - and sometimes offers that source of light to illuminate the dark.

31/10/2025

I love the opportunity for a bit of mindful carving this time of year! When we start to direct our attention to the present moment, it can act as a wonderful grounding opportunity.

Also, creative expression is linked to higher levels of subjective wellbeing. In other words, creativity boosts our mood and may be a powerful tool for

The relationship does go both ways - when we feel better, we are likely to engage in more creative activity. But deliberately choosing to explore creativity could have a profound impact.

How do you creatively express yourself?

20/10/2025

I ran the this weekend and, while delighted to have finished, I found myself also noticing disappointment that I was humbled by the final hill (the “Everest of York 🤣) and took much longer to complete it than I would have liked. I had to walk up it (I’ve run up it many times) or risk fainting so close to the finish!

I also noticed frustration with myself- I couldn’t just “push through” (despite losing a month of training to injury before the race!). Alongside this, a whole raft of other feelings - gratitude for the amazing support, awe at the dedication of others, overwhelm at the massive sensory experience, fear that I could be injured for other events, pride that I had run more of the miles than I thought I might be able to after injury.

I could list even more but hopefully I have illustrated how emotions can layer with complexity and under the surface lies the core of what’s important to us. Understanding what is there is where possibility opens up, and therapy can help with this deep connection to self.

16/10/2025

“Look deep into nature and you will understand everything (better)” - Albert Einstein

I love this quote and think there is so much wisdom to be gained from nature. The striving, adaption, growth, evolution. I want to extend this and suggest it’s not even just about looking, but feeling and being in nature can offer us profound understanding as well.

What kind of understanding does offer you?

Address

Blossom Street
York
YO241AQ

Website

https://www.jillywhithamcounselling.com/

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