All Things Birth and Beyond Ltd

02/06/2024

We can read all the books
We can watch all the webinars
We can listen to all the podcasts

But...

If we don't have a happy nervous system
If we don't have a quiet inner voice
If our inner critic isn't showing you compassion

Then...

We will continue to struggle in how we feel (anxious, nervous, irritated, on-edge)

And less able to feel...

More connected
More patient
More fun
More easy-going

What would you like less or more of in your relationships with your children, and with yourself?

Xx

13/05/2024

Posted • It's going to be a big week for birth trauma ⬆️

Today marks the publication of the report produced by the public inquiry into birth trauma. We will share a direct link to the report on our stories as soon as it is available to the public. 💜

And there is much more press to follow. Including and more. Plus an event in Parliament tonight to be attended by the Secretary of State for Health & Social Care, Victoria Atkins.

Thank you to everyone who has helped to make this happen. Every expert witness, every person who shared their story via a submission 💜

Make Birth Better has been part of the special advisory Group which helped to shape the public inquiry alongside and . Led by as the Secretariat. Kim, their CEO, has given everything to make this work happen. Special thanks to you, Kim.

We're hopeful to see change come from this work and we're looking forward to reflecting on the recommendations with you all. We're going to need you right by our side to make sure that the right people sit up, listen and ACT! 🗣️📢🔊 Let’s do this.

We will be discussing the report at our summit tomorrow and Theo Clarke MP will be speaking too. There's still one more day to get a ticket! See link in bio.

Adding an important reminder to go gently and quoting one of our wonderful Champions, Hannah Horne (Head of Midwifery) , who says it beautifully:

"Today will be a tough and triggering day for us all.

Please be kind to yourself.

Remember that we are all here together and collectively WE ARE making a difference and making birth better for all!"

X

08/05/2024

Healing: You and Your Birth Trauma 💖

Navigating through the aftermath of birth trauma can feel isolating, but it's crucial to remember you're not alone.

Your feelings—fear, sadness, anger, or disconnection—are entirely valid.

Birth trauma affects 1 in 3 birthing women , yet it's often shrouded in silence.

Recognizing and validating your experience is a vital step toward healing.

At "Mothership Rising," we understand the profound impact birth trauma can have. It's not just about the physical experience; it's the emotional journey that often goes unrecognized.

We're here to tell you that your feelings are understandable, and your reactions are normal.

Healing is possible, and it's okay to seek support.
If you're searching for a compassionate, understanding community that gets it, we're here.

"Mothership Rising" offers a sanctuary for healing and connection, in community.

We provide resources, support, and a space to share your story at your own pace, helping you navigate the path to recovery with empathy and understanding.

Looking for a safe space to heal?

Discover "Mothership Rising" and join a community that supports your healing journey.

Comment below or DM me to learn more about how we can support you through this.

Your journey to healing starts with understanding and compassion—let's walk this path together. 🌼

02/05/2024

Join Mel and Alex as they discuss the different therapeutic approaches to managing perinatal anxiety, and their exciting new Community Interest Company aimed at supporting mothers ❤️

01/05/2024

Posted • To mark World Maternal Mental Health Day, Grazia and the Maternal Mental HealthAlliance are launching a new campaign asking the government to implement mental health check-ups are part of every prenatal and antenatal appointment. Mental health problems are the most common complication of pregnancy and the postnatal period, affecting 1 in 5, and yet there is far less investment and attention compared to physical conditions.
 
To support the campaign, we’ve written a template letter you can send to your MP asking for support which you can find at the linkinbio. Throughout the day, we’ll also be posting mothers stories to highlight the desperate need for more support – to share yours, tag us and .

01/05/2024

Join Mel, Emotional Wellbeing Practitioner, and Ashley Parker, Relationship Therapist as they talk about how Maternal Mental Health impacts relationships, and what support is available

30/04/2024

Join Mel, perinatal emotional well-being coach and doula mentor, and Debs, Independent Midwife, as they chat about what continuity of care and relationship based care look like - and why it's so important.

Both are registered with and work together in supporting families in Yorkshire in the transition to parenthood

29/04/2024

21/04/2024

What is a doula? By Kati Edwards

🙏

'So what is a doula? What do they do?
Why would I want one as part of my crew?
A professional birth partner? What's that about?
Why don't you interview one and find out?

Doulas come in all different guises
She'll give you information but never advises
And you can expect, information's correct
Delivered with KINDNESS, COMPASSION, RESPECT
Laying out options, so you can choose
The best course of action for you and your muse

She'll assert your truth and divert your fear
She'll show you a love that's so sincere
She'll hold your hand, if you want it held
Show no judgement if you screamed and yelled

And if you think about all the different types of women
And the birth options we can choose
No matter what your colour, creed, social need, how you plan to proceed

There's a doula for everyone
Someone who fits just right
Someone that you'll click with, someone who'll you'll like

So if you like the sound of what a doula does
and you think one might be for you
Look up the DOULA UK 'find a doula' page
And have a good look through!'

Words by Kati Edwards

Could you be a doula?

TBR doula training has 40% off this month only.

The link is in the bio. Or send me or Alex a DM to find out more.

08/04/2024

Let's talk about how you're doing 👋

How many people REALLY know what's going on for you?

I'm tired...

Tired of the lack of resources
Tired of the staff shortages
Tired of the funding issues
Tired of the vicarious trauma
Tired of the gaslighting
Tired of the grooming
Tired of the fear mongering
Tired of the cringey language
Tired of the lack of compassion
Tired of the almost absent emotional well-being provision required to ensure a healthy society

Tired of the seemingly oblivious attitude to the enormous amount of support and care that women and families need to protect and promote healthy relationships with themselves and eachother

And...

I'm also really tired of the evidence screaming at us to wake up and make maternal mental health a priority... and only a very tiny % of people *actually* committing to do that 😔

I'm also really frikking grateful...

Grateful that I have the training
Grateful that I have the experience
Grateful that I have the grit and determination
And, grateful that I have the opportunity

To make a really big difference 💕

I've got more to share on this oc
But before I do..
I'd love to know how you're doing
How you're feeling
What's on your mind

Let me know in the comments xx

23/02/2024

Breech Birth Workshop with Debs Rhodes

Has been absolutely incredible 🤩

Especially as we got to meet a mama who secured IM care at her planned breech homebirth, provided for by the NHS Trust 🥰

And spending HOURS talking all about birth and postpartum and 'all the things' with phenomenal birthkeepers and midwives 😍

Happy Friday peeps 😀

Xx

22/02/2024

.rachel.reed Directed pushing is still a common practice and a common cause of complications. Physiological birth requires no directions.

https://midwifethinking.com/2016/06/15/the-anterior-cervical-lip-how-to-ruin-a-perfectly-good-birth/

22/02/2024

Breech Birth Workshop 🤩

I'm absolutely exhausted after day 1 of 2

And so grateful to be sat in circle with some absolutely incredible power house women this week

I honestly thought there'd be more doulas and birthkeepers, but it seems I'm the only non-clinical person here...

Whether you provide clinical support or not, I believe it's absolutely imperative that your knowledge of all possibilities in a birthing environment is current and evidence-based - including undiagnosed breech 😉

Today, I listened to stories of some really beautiful breech births (physiological) as well as some distressing ones - just like with any birth stories

The stats and the number of breech births studied that the current guidelines are based on are pretty shocking, as well as conversations around the lack of information shared on different options 😳 (unsurprisingly)

I'm curious to know what other people's experience of breech is, if any...

Feel free to share in the comments x

15/02/2024

🌟 Reflecting on an Epic Week of Strength and Healing 🌟

This week has been an unforgettable journey of support, strength, and transformation. I had the honor of standing alongside two incredible families as they welcomed their babies into the world, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. 🥰

Witnessing these birthing mamas, especially those who have faced the challenges of previous birth trauma, embrace their power and bring new life into the world with such courage, has been profoundly moving.

Their journeys remind us of the essential need for trauma-informed care in the birthing process.Trauma-informed care is more than a methodology; it's a philosophy that acknowledges the profound impact of past trauma on a person's current experience. It’s about creating a supportive environment that recognizes the strength of the individual, while also providing the care, understanding, and respect they deserve. This approach is crucial, not just for the birthing process, but for nurturing the future relationship between parent and child.

The ripple effects of birth trauma can extend far beyond the delivery room, potentially influencing the emotional wellbeing of the mother and the attachment style she develops with her newborn. Addressing these traumas with empathy, understanding, and professional support is vital. It can pave the way for healing, not just for the birthing parent, but for the entire family, fostering stronger, healthier relationships that last a lifetime.

To the families I’ve had the privilege to support: your journeys of courage and transformation are a powerful reminder of the importance of compassionate, trauma-informed care. You’ve shown that with the right support, it is possible to turn past trauma into a source of strength and empowerment.

Here’s to a future where every birth is supported by care that is as compassionate and informed as it is empowering. 🌱

30/01/2024

You will likely know someone who has experienced birth trauma, or you may have sadly experienced this yourself. Birth trauma is very common but it is certainly not normal! Unfortunately, modern maternity services are no longer 'with woman' but 'with system' this is simply not conducive to positive birth outcomes...

The Beverley Beech Project is named after Beverley Lawrence Beech, a renowned WPCTS ambassador who supported me throughout my efforts to establish this organisation. She was the chair of AIMS for 40 years and the author of the influential book "Am I Allowed?" Beverly was my friend, mentor, and source of inspiration and strength, and I was humbled when she entrusted me to continue her life's work by taking over her famous book, 'Am I Allowed?' With Nadine Edwards' oversight, I agreed to write new editions, and I promised Beverley that I would continue her legacy in my unique way, with every beat of my proud heart.

Beverley asked that the proceeds of her book go to this access fund so we can continue to help low-income families all around the world. Not only will her book continue to inspire and empower thousands of women, but the sales will also support thousands more!

When Push Comes To Shove is the future of maternity care, and we are committed to doing whatever it takes to ensure no woman is left alone. We aim to change this world for the better, one birth at a time, and we invite everyone to join us on this transformative journey. Whether you want to make regular donations, organise a fundraiser yourself or make a one-time donation, you will be contributing to the health of women all around the world to ensure they are given every chance for an empowered birth.

Please give what you can so women of earth can take back their birth!
With love & gratitude,
Nickita

https://gofund.me/45ac422d

22/01/2024

I've had a week of discussions with the Labour ward manager and director of midwifery around a client's choices, and I had to highlight exactly this point...

When you have to repeatedly defend your choices and your answer is repeatedly disregarded, and you're persistently asked the same question...

This is coercion!

And it is UNACCEPTABLE

No matter how uncomfortable the NHS feel about your 'outside of guidance' choices...

If you or your children have been negatively impacted by your birth or postpartum experiences, and you feel you'd benefit from a trauma-informed service that centres you and your family

DM the word CLARITY, and let's connect

Posted • .jenna.psychologist Coerce (verb): persuade (an unwilling person) to do something by using force or threats.

Of course we need to support our maternity care professionals who are working within extremely difficult circumstances… but that doesn’t mean centring their feelings above that of their ‘patients’ - the people that should have been cared for rather than coerced

If this post brings up difficult feelings for you, in the first instance please reach out and talk to to someone you know and trust, and consider seeking professional support should this feel needed 🫶🏻

17/01/2024

Posted • The baby hat controversy is coming out of the wardrobe again. I wrote this two years ago with links to the science. Insta is terrible for sharing extended text but check my blog https://thebirthhub.co.uk/2022/07/26/use-your-loaf-the-curse-of-the-baby-hat/

The answer I mostly get from midwives when I ask is that babies lose lots of heat from their heads and can get cold. This confuses me. I wonder why on earth evolution would have created such a faulty system for our species. So I did a bit of digging. It seems a myth sprang up in the 1970s that led to us all believing that humans lose most of their heat from their heads. Apparently, this myth has it’s origins in a military experiment from the 1950s, in which scientists measured heat loss in soliders in snowy conditions. Because the only part of their bodies uncovered were their heads, it’s hardly surprising that they found the majority of heat lost was from their head. Of course, if they hadn’t been wearing any pants, logic would tell us that they would have lost body heat through their nether regions….heads are not special heat radiators!

And yes, this old research has been debunked many times since then. And yet, when it comes to newborn babies, we still perpetuate this old wives tale. But why does it matter, I hear you ask? Well, I’ll hand over here to Birthkeeper and maternity campaigner, Kemi Johnson:

When we put a hat on the baby immediately post birth, we sabotage the oxytocin flow for the mother because she can’t smell that wet head and stroke it…causing contractions that’ll keep her uterus toned and thus prevent haemorrhage

Someone who has just given birth is in a parallel dimension. Birth is a foreign country; in those minutes after birth, she must travel back to this time and place and re-enter her own body. Parents need to ground themselves in the here and now after their epic quest, by touching, smelling and kissing the baby. Left to themselves, feeling unobserved, parents will lower their faces to that crown that only moments before stretched perineum and heart wide open, and drink their baby in. Watch carefully and you’ll notice it cause uterine contract

16/01/2024

When we feel nervous
or scared
or anxious
or on edge
or hyperviglient
or any of the other many words
we use to describe the subtle
(and sometimes not so subtle)
sensations that we experience in our body
which send us clues that signal to us
that we're not entirely comfortable with our current situation ...
connect with yourself
the true essence of who you are
and show that part of you some deep deep love
if you'd like support or guidance with exploring those parts of you that are calling out to be heard
so that you can be more present in your relationships with yourself and others
then I'd love to take you on a really beautiful journey of discovery and transformation

Comment 'basecamp' to get on the wait list for our next super small group programme xx

12/01/2024

What do you want?

That might feel like quite a jarring question...

For many years, I really struggled to articulate what I wanted

It was easier to tune into what I didn't want to feel

Triggered
Overwhelmed
Agitated/anxious
On edge
Disconnected (from myself)
Annoyed
Sometimes fu***ng furious
Misunderstood
Lonely
Desperate for something to be different

I'd spent about 20 years engaging in on/off talk therapy, and it was boring AF

And more importantly, the feelings ... the sensations in my body were still being activated no matter how much awareness I had of 'why'

I didn't have the tools to just get back to base camp, or how to stay there, and it was REALLY impacting my relationships with my children and partner

Until I did 😁

I've spent the last 4 years sharing these life changing tools with my clients 1:1 and last year, 5 incredible women chose to join me in a group setting where I witnessed the power of this work being experienced in community.

I'd love to know what you feel would be most useful to you this year and if what I'm sharing is of any interest to you.

Let's start a conversation in the comments 💛

11/01/2024

Within 10 minutes of our session, Aoife had realised what was really going on for her and allowed herself to let go of the heartache she'd been carrying in her body for years.

"I was expecting to feel the enormity of the work we did, and instead, I felt a deep sense of calm and relief... I felt lighter... it was like I'd just taken Gaviscon for heartburn... I highly recommend this work to everyone"

I'd love to know what other powerful healing techniques you use... feel free to leave them in the comments

Let's start a conversation xx

08/01/2024

Posted • Tonight we have some exciting news.

MPs are launching an inquiry into birth trauma – and we at the BTA will be helping them run it.

We want to hear your experience of traumatic birth and how it affected you. If you’d like to send in your story, please go to:
https://www.theo-clarke.org.uk/birth-trauma

The inquiry will start this month and run until late March, and the findings will be published in a report in April.

Thank you to each and every one of you who take part 🤍

07/01/2024

This visual metaphor represents the fragmentation caused by trauma, where the shattered pieces symbolize the various aspects of an individual's life affected by the traumatic experience.

So many of us have experienced birth or postpartum trauma - a distressing event that can still be felt in the body when remembered.

So many of us feel fragmented from ourselves and in our important relationships with others.

Have you found a supportive practice or effective resource?

Xx

06/01/2024

"If you want to improve the world, start by making people feel safer" (Stephen Porges)

*I couldn't resist the image that represents (to me) me as the protector ... keeping others safe.

I've had a few people reach out to me after yesterday's post.

If you'd like to talk through what's coming up for you, and would like some support in navigating the big feelings that are so often activated when we've experienced a distressing event

You're always welcome to book a call - just dm me and let's get it in the diary x

04/01/2024

Talking about foetal monitoring during labour with a client earlier...

And how continuous monitoring is evidenced as having no benefits over intermittent monitoring... but can lead to more interventions...

And then this post popped up - thank you,

If you've been impacted by a distressing event that involved monitoring - too much/not enough then please DM me... the visceral response that some of us can have from remembering these experiences doesn't need to stay with you

Big love xx

Posted • It is not a "clip" it's a screw, it carries a risk factor for foetal distress, because who wants their first taste of the outside world to be someone blindly screwing in the dark through a tube a smaller version of a corkscrew under their skin, it can lead to infection for mother and baby and permanent scarring - hopefully the don't do these things but often they do.

All of these things should be discussed prior to the use of it.

In my google (search) for an image I just came across a story in the BMJ of a baby who had one pe*****te their eyelid.

It can be harmless - but also it cannot.

02/01/2024

Big love to the man who's been my rock through more than a decade of highs, lows, and everything in between. 🌟

He's witnessed me navigate ...

postpartum trauma
grief
crippling anxiety
.. and come out the other side feeling

more present
more connected, and
more myself than ever before 💫

Together, we've weathered many storms that have

Tested our relationship to the core 😩

But also celebrated many triumphs, including a degree in perinatal studies (and a laundry list of certifications in polyvagal theory, trauma recovery, and somatic practices). 🥳

And PEACE ❤️

As we step into 2024, my focus is shifting.

I'm here to support you on your journey, helping you:

Reconnect with yourself and
Renew your relationships with your loved ones
.. especially if you've experienced a distressing event.

Here's to a year filled with more connection, more love, and more joy (and a more regulated nervous system 😉).

💖

27/12/2023

Posted • This is the big one! We need 20,000 of you to fill in our survey to make sure your voice is heard in time for the UK General Election. I cannot tell you how important this data is. This data, your data, will be slammed on the desk of every politician whilst they compile manifestos. It will be covered by the press and media, it will be used in parliamentary evidence sessions. It will ensure childcare, parental leave, flexible working, NDAs, pregnancy & maternity discrimination are all hot topics next year, forcing MPs to talk about these issues publicly. Without it, it’s unlikely we can make enough noise to improve the lives of parents across the UK.

Please, please, please take just 10 minutes to fill it in. Please share it with everyone you have ever met (especially dads - we need more men!!) and we will be over the ruddy moon if you would wang us an emoji below to show you’ve completed it 🥸

10,000 of you have filled in the survey already - THANK YOU!! We need another 10,000 to make the data statistically significant. Link in bio!!

Huge thanks to who helped us design this survey and who will be analysing the results.

26/12/2023

Wishing you a peaceful holiday season 🎄

I've had the privilege of welcoming family into our home over the past few days

It's been a very busy, full house with lots of chatter and laughter and cooking and cleaning and hanging out together ❤️

Ranging in age from 3 to 63 means lots of different ideas and needs, and lots of different dynamics between each relationship ...

And, it's reminded me of how blessed I am to have family who love me and have travelled so far to visit ☺️

The holiday season can be a really hard time for so many people, for so many reasons

I'm sending love and best wishes to each and every one who reads this, especially if you're feeling lonely or overwhelmed 💫

Feel free to dm me if you ever want to chat - my door's always open for a virtual cuppa

Much love
Mel xx

25/12/2023

Want to feel more empowered in just 3 minutes, for free?

Just comment "EMPOWERED" down below!

You've got this ❤️

"Peace is the beauty of life. It is the smile of a child, the love of a mother, the joy of a father, the togetherness of a family."

05/12/2023

Want to feel calm in just 3 minutes, for free?

Just comment "CALM" down below, and I'll send you the 3 minute video that you can follow along to.

You've got this ❤️

29/11/2023

Question! Can you help?

Hello lovelies,

I'm working on resurrecting a group that I used to run a few years ago that was focused on

reducing anxiety

reconnecting with ourselves

reclaiming a sense of identity

rekindling relationships that are under strain ... but important to you

I'd love to know if this is something that you'd find useful

Navigating motherhood,

especially if you've had an upsetting or traumatic experience,

can often feel so much more challenging than we ever imagine, and...

it's not unusual for our sense of identity and our relationships to really take strain

As a thank you for jumping on a call and answering a few questions for me,

I'm offering 30-minute laser focused coaching sessions

Free to chat?

DM me or leave a comment 🙂

Thank you xx