Ystradgynlais Psychotherapy

09/06/2025

Monday musings....I live in a land that is east of the Moon and west of the Sun. And I know that as I rage against the coming storm that I will not go gently into that good night. The world rushes headlong to catharsis with all of our fatal flaws exposed to others. The world turns slowly...oh so slowly. And the tedium goes on and on...the hollow men, the stuffed men debate like patients etherised upon a table, locked in a morgue....

It's Monday a multiplicity of images float through my mind . I hear of a flood of death or endings....and uncomfortably I shift aware thst but for chance I could have been there.

The hint of change dangles like the curse of Tantalus as a crypto Fascist revolution begins to eat its own children ...and a conservative force Starmer led flounders in power...

Social media is grumpy, snappy and strained.

As more Palestinians die slaughtered by the IDF the images run on and reply to those who ask.

These are schizoid days, days of slaughter and schemes hatched and hoped for.....its Monday and the world is grey beneath its breath.....

The Moon calls out and the voice echoes between the lidless eyes looking out of high windows as we walk the road with dog and wolf...where is June taking us? Fascism lurks in the far hills and we are sore afraid..And as the Fascists surge in the USA and LA riots and as the centrists fade ....do I see visions of the UK to be under a centre right pro market , anti trade union Labour Party plunging to the far right. You can't fight fascism from the centre....be warned Keir and the waves of change and challenge sweep towards....apres moi le deluge ..at least I hope so

08/06/2025

A statue of the goddess Athena from the office of Freud in Vienna and then in London. Sigmund Freud, the Jewish Viennese psychoanalyst, had a large collection of antiquities which he kept in his office. For him, psychoanalysis was connected to archaeology in a number of ways - a "digging up" of the past both in patients, and also in reminding both himself and his patients of the ancient Greek and Egyptian world (where most of the antiquities, but certainly not all) came from, whose myths and stories could be "free associated" during the session, perhaps opening new discoveries and fields of inquiry for the patient and the analyst.

This statuette of the goddess Athena was a favorite of Freud's. After the N***s seized power it was feared that Freud would lose his entire collection of antiquities as well as his library. When he left Vienna in June 1938 he smuggled this statue out of Vienna, bringing it with him to Paris and then to London. On arrival in England, Freud wrote "we arrived proud and rich under the protection of Athena." As luck would have it, the rest of his antiquity collection was able to reach London thanks to the financial aid and influence of one of his former patients. (See comment section below).

Today the statue of Athena and the other antiquities originally in his office in Vienna can be seen at the Freud Museum in London.

30/03/2025

Sul y Mamau Hapus!
Happy Mothers’ Day!

23/03/2025

21/03/2025

What does true resilience look like? How do people survive unthinkable trauma and go on to rebuild their lives? Good Morning, Monster by Catherine Gildiner takes us deep into the extraordinary journeys of five patients—people who endured extreme abuse, neglect, and hardship but found the strength to heal.

Through the lens of therapy, this book explores the human capacity for survival, the long road to self-acceptance, and the profound impact of past wounds on present lives. It challenges us to ask: What shapes us more—our trauma or our ability to overcome it? And how do we break free from the pain of our past?

Each of these five individuals teaches us something powerful about endurance, courage, and the transformative power of therapy. Are you ready to step into their stories and witness the resilience of the human spirit?

Here are lessons from Good Morning, Monster

1. Trauma shapes identity, but it doesn’t have to define it.
Many of Gildiner’s patients carried deep scars from childhood abuse and neglect. While their past shaped their fears, relationships, and behaviors, healing came when they realized their trauma did not have to dictate their future.

2. Emotional resilience is built through struggle.
Each patient in the book endured hardships that seemed insurmountable, yet they survived. Resilience isn’t about avoiding pain—it’s about enduring it, processing it, and coming out stronger on the other side.

3. Therapy is not just about talking—it’s about rewiring how we see ourselves.
Through therapy, Gildiner’s patients learned to challenge the beliefs they had about themselves—beliefs shaped by abusive parents, neglect, or toxic relationships. They had to rewrite their own narratives to move forward.

4. Love and kindness can be unfamiliar and even frightening.
For those raised in toxic environments, love and kindness may feel foreign or undeserved. Some of Gildiner’s patients struggled to accept healthy relationships because chaos was all they had known.

5. Survival mechanisms can become obstacles to healing.
Many coping mechanisms—like detachment, people-pleasing, or emotional suppression—are useful in abusive environments. However, these same behaviors can later prevent deep connections and personal growth.

6. Confronting the past is painful but necessary.
Healing doesn’t come from burying trauma—it comes from facing it. Each patient had to revisit painful memories, unpack suppressed emotions, and challenge their past to reclaim their future.

7. Forgiveness is not always necessary for healing.
While some people find peace in forgiveness, others heal by acknowledging the pain and choosing to move on without forcing reconciliation. Healing is personal and looks different for everyone.

8. Breaking cycles requires immense courage.
Some patients had to actively break patterns of abuse, neglect, or dysfunction—choosing a different path than the one they were raised in. Change is difficult, but it’s possible with conscious effort and support.

9. True healing comes from self-acceptance, not external validation.
Many patients spent years seeking approval from others before realizing that self-worth must come from within. Healing means learning to accept oneself, flaws and all.

10. The human spirit is incredibly strong.
Despite enduring unimaginable pain, each person in Good Morning, Monster showed an extraordinary ability to survive and rebuild. Their stories are a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of transformation.

Good Morning, Monster is not just a book about therapy—it’s about the raw, unfiltered reality of human suffering and strength. It reminds us that trauma does not have to be a life sentence and that healing, while difficult, is always possible.

Are we truly aware of the hidden battles people around us are fighting? And more importantly, how can we show more understanding, patience, and kindness—not just to others, but to yourself

04/02/2025

What is it about cruelty, ugliness, humiliation, and violence that both fascinates and shocks us? Why do we feel drawn to the very things we are taught to reject? These distorted, uncomfortable images are not mere inventions; they are mirrors of our deepest self, reflecting the hidden, repressed aspects of our psyche. They strip away our defences, forcing us to confront the uncomfortable truths we have long buried beneath layers of societal norms and personal denial.

22/01/2025

Tragic Optimism: Despair is out, babe.
by NORA MCINERNY

The doom machine is working overtime.

I don’t need to list the product line, because you’re already overly familiar. They’re making new horrors every day — fresh ones we never thought of — and bringing back old favorites (nostalgia sells!).

For those of us who are already wired to see silver linings as a potential lightning strike, this is no good. We wake up hungry for more confirmation that people are the worst and getting no better, that we are nothing more than a stupid coyote running headlong towards a brick wall with a fake tunnel painted on it by a roadrunner with incredible dexterity. And boy do we get it; we doom-scroll our way into a paralyzing kind of terror, the numbing sort that borders on apathy.

What can we do other than double tap, share, and sink further into the emotional abyss?

Ask this guy.

His name is Viktor Frankl. Like many depressive teenagers, I was handed a copy of Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, the story of Frankl’s experience in a concentration camp during the Holocaust. It was a gift from a family friend who was old enough to be my Grandfather, a man who studied under Frankl and lived by his principles.

I’ve returned to Frankl many times over the years, particularly his concept of Tragic Optimism. It is not Toxic Positivity, which denies the reality of pain and requires you to wield gratitude as a blunt object. It is the recognition of pain, horror, death…and the choice to still “say yes to life in spite of all of that.”

I didn’t know — when my biggest problem was brain chemistry and low self esteem — that Tragic Optimism would be the lifeline I needed a decade after I first read that book, when I would look into the frightened eyes of my boyfriend the night he found out he had a brain tumor and propose to him in a hospital bed.

I won’t tell you that things are great when they aren’t.

I won’t tell you that you HAVE TO BE OPTIMISTIC! And neither would Frankl.

"…optimism is not anything to be commanded or ordered. One cannot even force oneself to be optimistic indiscriminately, against all odds, against all hope."

But I will tell you that your presence is requested and appreciated here in the present moment, in all its discomfort and discord, where we can nurture the seeds of hope with action and intention.

Among the many pieces I have given myself, this is the one I need most often:

When you feel invisible, making someone else feel seen.

When you feel unappreciated, show your appreciation.

When you feel slighted, be generous with someone else.

And if you ever feel useless, do something useful.

That’s the work of Tragic Optimism, I think? To give yourself a purpose. To turn despair into action, however small that action may seem, however hopeless it might seem to bother to be a decent person.

And I’m going to leave you with this quote from Frankl about decent people:

"It is true that they form a minority. More than that, they always will remain a minority. And yet I see therein the very challenge to join the minority. For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best."

The challenge is to join the minority and be as decent as possible.

Do your best, forget the rest.

Tragic Optimism 2025.

20/01/2025

It's Monday. Monday 20 January. Not Blue Monday. Not the most depressing day of the year. Just another cold, winter Monday.

Blue Monday may not exist but we know the winter blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder affect many people so we are dispelling the myth of Blue Monday with the truth>> https://bit.ly/3I8ONGQ

19/01/2025

Erich Fromm, a renowned German social psychologist and philosopher, deeply explored the complexities of human relationships and the nature of love in his influential works. One of his most profound insights on love came in his book The Art of Loving (1956), where he argued that love is not merely an emotional reaction to a particular person, but rather a broader orientation of the character that shapes one’s entire worldview. He wrote, “Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole.” For Fromm, love was not confined to romantic relationships or personal attachments but was an intrinsic part of how one engages with the world and fellow human beings. It is an active force, an expression of one’s soul, rather than a passive reaction to an external stimulus.

Fromm also critiqued the common misconception that love is merely the act of finding the "right" object to love. Many, he suggested, approach love with the idea that it is defined by the specific person they love, believing that the intensity of their emotions toward that individual is a reflection of their capacity for love. However, Fromm viewed this perspective as problematic, equating it to a form of egotism or symbiotic attachment. He argued that such an approach to love, which is centered on an individual rather than on a broader, more universal capacity for love, cannot be considered true love. He said, “If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism.” According to Fromm, true love transcends individual connections and should be part of one’s overall attitude toward humanity.

In illustrating his point, Fromm used the analogy of painting. He stated, “This attitude can be compared to that of a man who wants to paint but who instead of learning the art, claims that he has just to wait for the right object and that he will paint beautifully when he finds it.” Fromm’s critique here is sharp and revealing: true love, like any art, requires practice, learning, and active engagement. It is not simply a matter of finding the right person or waiting for the perfect moment; it is a continuous, conscious effort that involves developing one’s capacity for care, respect, responsibility, and knowledge. Through this lens, love becomes an ongoing practice of cultivation rather than an inevitable outcome tied to finding the perfect object of affection. Fromm’s philosophy provides a deep and thoughtful reflection on love, urging individuals to expand their understanding of it as a force that shapes not just personal relationships but also their relationship with the world at large.

18/01/2025

8 Profound Lessons from Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

1. Suffer!ng Can Be Meaningful: Frankl’s harrowing experience in Naz! concentration camps reveals that life’s meaning isn’t diminished by suffering—it can be found within it. He explains how individuals who could ascribe meaning to their pain, whether through love, faith, or a sense of duty, were better equipped to endure unimaginable hardships. Suffering ceases to be suffering the moment it finds a purpose.

2. Freedom Lies in Your Response: Even in the most oppressive circumstances, Frankl argues, humans retain the freedom to choose their attitude. While the N***s stripped prisoners of their physical freedoms, they couldn’t take away their ability to decide how they responded mentally and spiritually. This ultimate freedom, he suggests, defines our humanity.

3. The Power of a Future Goal: Frankl observed that prisoners who survived had one thing in common: a vision of something or someone waiting for them. Be it a loved one, unfinished work, or an unfulfilled dream, this sense of purpose kept them alive. "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how," Frankl writes, quoting Nietzsche.

4. Love Transcends Everything: One of the most poignant themes in the book is the idea that love provides profound meaning to life. Frankl recalls moments in the camps when the thought of his wife gave him strength. Love, he says, transcends suffering and even death; it is a spiritual connection that cannot be destroyed by external forces.

5. Find Meaning, Don’t Demand Happiness: Frankl critiques modern society’s obsession with happiness, arguing that it’s a fleeting byproduct of meaning, not an end in itself. True fulfillment comes from devoting yourself to causes greater than personal pleasure, whether through work, relationships, or service.

6. Life Always Has Meaning—Even in Tragedy: Frankl stresses that life holds meaning under any circumstance, no matter how grim. He describes the dignity of a terminally ill person facing their final days with courage or a prisoner choosing to share their last piece of bread. Each act, no matter how small, can embody life’s intrinsic worth.

7. Responsibility as the Essence of Human Existence: For Frankl, life demands responsibility. He challenges readers to stop asking what they want from life and instead consider what life wants from them. Each moment presents an opportunity to act meaningfully, and every decision shapes the person we become.

8. Hope Is a Lifeline: Despair, Frankl notes, is often the result of losing hope. Many prisoners succumbed to apathy the moment they felt they had nothing left to live for. Conversely, those who held onto hope—even in the form of small, distant goals—found the strength to carry on. Hope is not naive optimism; it’s a crucial tool for survival.

11/01/2025

Dream near the Cancer full moon.....

Carl Jung reflected uoon the big dream as a indicator of social currents and the hopes and fears of the time to come. In last night's dream this powerful and vivid image woke me in the early hours. I do not claim that it is prophetic but it may be in purely an archetypal form. Written hear prior to the full moon and nine days away from the Trump inauguration. It occurs on the day that we discovervthat 2024 has been the warmest year since industrialisation by about 1.5 degrees. Tongue in cheek I considered how long it would be before I read or was told " you know I don't believe that we are in climate crisis. They say the world is heating up but I mean look how cold it is in Ystradgynlais.....

In the dream I stood in the twilight of dusk looking out to sea. Their was a wall or fence between myself and the beach. It looked like Tresaith in West Wales. On my left side in a safe location about 40 feet away was a woman. She was dark skinned wrapped in silk and the wind view around her. She was safe and secure in a solid structure built of granite or white marble.

I looked at the pattern of the waves weaving in and out of the edge of the beach. I saw the shapes and marveled at their intricacies. They formed diamond shaped images and I thought of the waves as symbolising the forms of societies and of thought, philosophies and ideologies, of the rise and decline of cultures and societies. I dreamed within the dream for what seemed hours. All of a sudden I heard a crash and in fragments of a second realised that a great wave of immense power was about to strike. It was a moment of precognition and prediction of the shape of what was to be .

I turned and ran towards the steps . I didn't feel fear . It was like running in the eye of the storm. As I headed towards the steps I saw that they were made of the same material of the building that the woman upon my left sheltered within. As I reached the steps and calmly climbed up them. The water rushed by on either side of the steps and I realised that at this moment in space and time and in the chaos of these haunted later years left me exalted and feeling secure. I awoke feeling peaceful. I will endure the coming crisis whatever there may be in the years to come...