22/10/2025
And so she slept for 10 hours, waking up with no rush,
no alarm,
nowhere to be.
But then my mind instantly activated (of course) and started making plans for the day —
I felt my heartbeat rise —
and there it was again… control all lighted up in Christmas lights flashing in capital letters.
(It truly occupies much more space than I’ve ever gave an awareness to it).
And I said, no plans. We follow the feeling. What does the body want?
Immediately my heart rate settled, breath softened, and peace came back (seriously as easy as that, I smiled).
Slow yoga practice of listening and following,
taking myself to a café,
having the world’s longest coffee (I’ve surely beaten the Greeks on that one 😂), ok 2 cups ☺️all along
reading, gazing into the sea,
just being.
Then I packed for a hike and headed into the mountains returning right into the twilight —
no destination, just walking, admiring, connecting, being rewarded with meeting a whole family of deers at the end of the hike🥰🤍.
As I kept surrendering, I met control again —
this time through my daughter.
She was travelling to London the next day,
and usually I’d be there checking her in,
making sure everything’s fine —
doing all the things we parents do
even when our kids can do it all themselves.
But here I was, walking in the mountains with hardly any connection,
asking her to text me when she took off and landed,
and that I see it when I have connection again.
And maybe we think it’s a form of love with this control but all needs balance and knowing when to let go, same applies to self.
And that was the moment — the practice.
I couldn’t sleep much that following night — of course my mind was elsewhere —
but it’s okay.
This is how we learn.
This is how we release — not by force,
but by noticing, choosing again, and breathing through it.
Because awareness is the first step,
and the second is living it —
one heartbeat, one breath, one small act of letting go to the freedom, to more balanced harmonised self, to the soul, to the joy, to the feeling.
