09/01/2026
When a child is overwhelmed, what they’re experiencing isn’t misbehaviour. It’s a nervous system under strain.
In moments of distress, many children aren’t able to step away, calm down, or think things through on their own. Their brain is in protection mode, not learning mode. Asking for distance, silence, or independence in those moments can sometimes add to the fear rather than reduce it.
What helps most is an anchor.
A calm adult presence.
A steady voice.
Predictable reassurance.
Co-regulation is not about fixing feelings or making them disappear. It’s about lending your regulated nervous system until theirs can settle again. When we stay close, grounded, and emotionally available, we send a powerful message: you are safe, even when things feel hard inside.
Over time, these moments build trust. They teach children that big emotions don’t push people away, and that support is available without judgement. From that place of safety, skills like self-regulation, problem-solving, and reflection can grow.
Connection doesn’t mean permissiveness. It means understanding that regulation comes before reasoning, and relationship comes before repair.
Be the anchor.
The calm in the storm.
The steady presence they can lean on while they learn how to steady themselves.
