Yana S. Goncharenko

04/11/2024

A natural leader is someone who instinctively finds solutions, guides others, and navigates challenges with confidence. But imagine a person like this being born into a family rooted in a victimhood mentality. From the beginning, this child would not be seen as a problem-solver or leader; instead, their confidence and solutions would evoke shame or discomfort in their parents. Rather than nurturing their strengths, the family dynamic would suppress them.

When the child tries to lead or offer solutions, the parents project their own insecurities onto the child. Instead of encouraging empowerment and resilience, they react defensively, meeting the child’s initiative with rejection. The child learns to associate their own natural strengths with negative responses, suppressing these qualities to fit a version of themselves that is more acceptable to the family. They internalize the role that is convenient for the parents: a follower who depends on others’ advice—even if it isn’t in their best interest.

As this person grows up, they often struggle with taking on leadership roles. On one hand, they still feel the pull of their authentic, natural leader self. But on the other hand, a powerful internal voice, shaped by early family dynamics, holds them back. This part—their “protector” personality—seeks to avoid the pain of rejection, often suppressing their confidence and strength. So, in moments of action, they feel both an undeniable pull toward leadership and a wave of resistance, often mixed with confusion, anger, and fear.

This internal conflict can be deeply frustrating and confusing, with the leader within them struggling to emerge, while the protector tries to keep them safe from emotional harm. To heal, this person must recognize and validate these conflicting parts of themselves, tracing them back to their origins. By slowly practicing leadership in supportive environments, they can begin to reclaim their authentic self, shifting from a conditioned pattern of victimhood to their true, empowered identity.

☑️Want to learn more about your patterns?
DM me 🤗

03/11/2024

A man who grew up with an angry or controlling mother often carries an ingrained tendency to be hyper-vigilant in his adult romantic relationships, always on guard against anything that might feel like control from his partner. Whenever a woman tries to offer advice or bring her intuition into his decision-making, it can trigger a powerful need in him to resist, especially if it challenges his established course of action. This resistance is rooted in a childhood where any advice or influence from his mother didn’t feel supportive or genuinely in his best interest. In a family dynamic where everyone seemed to prioritize their own needs, his desires and well-being went ignored. He learned to associate a woman’s guidance or intervention with manipulation, control, or even betrayal.

In this way, he internalized a belief that any energy coming from a woman could work against him rather than for him. So, if he finds anger rising when his partner tries to communicate something that may benefit him, it may be because he learned to connect to women in an environment where guidance felt invasive or threatening, not nurturing. Today, this conditioning causes him to perceive even beneficial input from his partner as an attempt to control him, triggering the same feelings of powerlessness, fear, and anger he experienced as a child. In response, he may mask these emotions with anger, reacting defensively to his partner’s well-intentioned advice.

For men who recognize this pattern, it’s worth considering that this response may stem from how control was wielded over them by their mothers, not from the reality of their current relationships. Recognizing that their partner is not their mother—and that not all guidance is controlling—can be a first step in unlearning these patterns. Healing this wound allows them to open up to genuine support and connection, letting go of defenses that no longer serve them.

03/11/2024

Good day, dear Facebook community!☀️

I will be traveling through Miami from ☑️*November 13 through the 20th*
and would like to share with you my services.

- private & group yoga
- ⁠breathwork & meditation
- ⁠somatic therapy
- ⁠Innerchild sessions
- ⁠cacao ceremony (pure ceremonial cacao blocks from Guatemalan are available for preorder)

All the services are available with at least 24 hour booking in advance.
Please DM me for more details and a dicovery call.

Much love,
Yana ❤️

25/10/2024

In the past, women often held leadership roles in their communities, serving as advisors to the tribe. Why? Because the way a woman feels within the tribe—the safety, support, and trust she experiences—deeply influences the tribe’s strength and resilience against outside threats. This same principle applies within families: when a woman struggles, feels unsafe, or unwell, it impacts her ability to nurture and connect, and this, in turn, affects everyone around her.

So, what can men do when they sense their partner is unable to relax or isn’t feeling nurturing? The key is to recognize that her needs may be unmet. Rather than attempting to meet all her needs alone, the man’s role is to communicate openly, show genuine interest, and understand what she might be missing. Then, he can use his focus, determination, and strength to help provide resources or seek support, creating a sense of security for her.

This mutual support builds a foundation where the woman can give back by fostering safety and care for him. Historically, this was why women were positioned at the head of the tribe: a woman who feels heard and protected can guide the community to greater strength and unity. Today, when men truly listen and respond to their partner’s needs, it helps create that same resilient and nurturing environment.

20/10/2024

Hello Facebook people! ❤️

As you may know I started working in Permaculture and would love you to enjoy free wisdom from Neal Hegarty

On OCT 23rd and 24th during a FREE WEBINAR.

🔗 Register here here:

https://course.creasolpermaculture.com/live-webinar

14/10/2024

The modern spiritual notion that simply focusing on the positive will attract more positivity into your life is shallow at best. Reality is multidimensional, and every moment of your life is not purely your creation—it’s a co-creation with the world around you. Otherwise, if you only could manifest what you focus on, every plane ✈️ would crash 🙂

So, the idea that focusing on something negative, like painful emotions, will somehow manifest more negativity is absurd.

When you shine a positive light on an uncomfortable or painful emotion, you’re not amplifying that emotion—you’re dissolving it. It’s like bringing light into a dark room: the darkness doesn’t grow; it vanishes under the presence of that light, or in this case, your awareness. Conversely, the idea that only focusing on positivity and refusing to sit with and process negative emotions is, in essence, a form of self-denial. It’s akin to self-hate, not self-love. True self-love involves embracing the full spectrum of your emotions, including the painful ones, allowing them space to be felt, understood, and healed.

Ignoring negative emotions and solely seeking out the positive creates resistance within your body and mind. And as we know, what we resist persists. This is one reason why so many people are emotionally and physically unwell—our culture is obsessed with quick fixes and band-aid solutions, whether it’s medicine, therapy, or spiritual practices. We’re not addressing the root of the issue, which is often unprocessed emotional pain. The spiritual teachers, coaches, or gurus who preach the denial of pain or tell you to only look for the positive are not helping you heal—they’re gaslighting you.

Yes, you do co-create your reality, but it’s essential to recognize that your subconscious mind plays a much larger role than your conscious intentions. By refusing to process negative emotions, you’re essentially feeding your subconscious negative beliefs, like adding yeast to dough and watching it rise. These unaddressed beliefs grow stronger over time, perpetuating the very emotions you’re trying to avoid.

In the end, real healing and growth come not from looking away from the dark but by turning toward it with compassion and awareness.

06/10/2024

The way spirituality often treats the ego—as something to be fixed, disconnected from, or blamed—misses a deeper truth. So, what is the ego? It’s not the enemy. The ego is your survival mechanism, the system of beliefs, rules, coping strategies, and protective behaviors you developed to adapt to your environment. At its core, the ego exists to keep you connected to what matters most to any human: a sense of belonging and connection. To blame the ego is like blaming a child who learned that survival, not love, was the priority. It’s like blaming a child who resorts to lying and stealing just to make it through, instead of growing up in safety, truth, and empowerment.

The ego isn’t bad. In fact, it’s essentially your inner child, the part of you that needs to be seen, heard, and understood. It needs to learn a new way of living from the heart, beyond just survival. This process isn’t easy, and it takes time. Survival patterns run deep, and letting go of them can feel terrifying. But it’s crucial to give yourself the space and patience to decondition those patterns. Instead of seeing the ego as something to reject, it’s time to embrace, accept, and integrate it.

If someone tells you to blame your ego or claims that it's inherently bad, take that as a red flag. Those who say this haven’t integrated their own pain, and without doing so, they can’t truly connect to yours. What you need on your healing journey is someone who can hold space for you with an open heart—someone who has lived through similar pain and understands it.

Trust your inner guidance when choosing who to trust with your healing. Don’t follow someone just because they make promises. Pay attention to how they make you feel. Do they validate your experience? Do they show compassion? Are they willing to sit with your pain—even your complaints, blame, or feelings of victimhood—without rushing to fix or dismiss you?

The most valuable trait in any healer is the ability to offer that space with empathy and understanding. This is what you should seek in anyone you trust with your healing journey.

29/09/2024

You can be born incredibly beautiful and yet have no idea of it. It all depends on how you were raised, the kind of attention you received, and how your closest circle, especially your parents, treated you during your formative years. I relate to this deeply. I’m turning 37 this Wednesday, and even now, I’m surprised when people tell me I’m beautiful, that I look like a ballerina or a dancer, or even that I could be a supermodel. There’s still a part of me coming to terms with the idea that I am a beautiful woman.

In Russia, we have a saying: “Don’t be born beautiful, be born happy,” and I think there’s so much truth in that. A woman’s happiness isn’t determined by her looks; it’s shaped by how her parents taught her to see herself.

Guys, show me some LOVE ❤️
Get me a good tattoo for my good looking back ⤵️

Help Me Get My Dream Tattoo for My Birthday! ** Hey everyone! This year … Yana Sergeevna needs your support for Donate to Yana's Birthday Tattoo Dream

28/09/2024

Hello everyone ❤️

My birthday is coming up on October 2nd.
It is also a day of Solar ☀️Eclipse and a New Moon in Libra - my South Node sign.
To cut a long story short - VERY POWERFUL time for me and my spiritual journey.

That is why I am asking for your support 🤗

Check out this link ❤️

Help Me Get My Dream Tattoo for My Birthday! ** Hey everyone! This year … Yana Sergeevna needs your support for Donate to Yana's Birthday Tattoo Dream

21/09/2024

The world is angry. There is a lot of anger from men towards men and women, and from women towards women and men. Your anger is valid. If it exists, then there is a reason for it.

While you may not subscribe to conspiracy theories, it’s hard to deny that something has driven us to turn against one another. Now, we’re trapped in cycles of hate—our own hatred towards each other, and our own hatred towards ourselves, and our own hatred towards our own anger, and guilt towards our own anger, makes the world an unsafe space where we see wars, where we see conflicts, where we see a lot of death. This only makes the world more unsafe, leading to more wars, conflicts, and unnecessary suffering.

Your anger is valid. If you feel it, there’s a reason behind it. Anger is a cover emotion. Anger covers your fear. It covers your fear of being betrayed, it covers your fear of being misunderstood, abandoned, hurt by other people. So if you feel the anger, it's not the reason to feel guilty for feeling the anger. It's the reason to validate your anger and find the reasons why you feel angry. Anger hides the fear of betrayal, the fear of being misunderstood, abandoned, or hurt. Rather than feeling guilt for your anger, recognize it as a signal. Ask yourself: what about this situation makes me so afraid? Or what is causing this deep hurt?

Society’s rejection of anger as an emotion hasn’t brought us peace. Instead, it has led to more emotional repression—repression of our truths, our authenticity, and our capacity to form genuine, trusting relationships. The key to dealing with anger isn't to ignore it but to acknowledge it, feel it, and express it. I’d own not mean that you have to go and kill someone, processing anger is feeling it in your body and having your pillow punched or screaming your lungs out.

There is a way to process your anger. It's to feel it, express it, and share your pain with other people.

Only then can you begin to process your emotions and create space for healing.

Only then can we begin to heal the divides within ourselves and the world around us..

20/09/2024

The world is in pain. How can we help? By turning our internal pain into wisdom?
This transformative journey has changed my life, and I’m here to guide you in uncovering your own path to healing. In our private sessions, we’ll explore the depths of your heart through Inner Child and Shadow Work.

I offer presence, compassion and deep insights. Healing starts with awareness.

✨ You don’t have to do this alone.

Schedule a discovery call or message me to chat on WhatsApp
https://www.yanaheals.com

18/09/2024

FULL MOON 🌕🩸🪷

A girl who grows up with an unavailable or abusive father often becomes a vibrational match to insecure, toxic, or emotionally emasculated men in adulthood. These relationships tend to repeat the same painful patterns, where she feels unsafe, misunderstood, and unprotected by the masculine. Over time, these experiences reinforce the belief that men cannot be trusted, that they only add to her burdens, and that she must fend for herself in their presence. This ongoing emotional distress builds a powerful protector within her—a part of her psyche that embodies a toxic masculine energy designed to shield her vulnerability.

As a result, this woman may appear outwardly strong and independent, capable of doing everything on her own, seemingly needing no one, especially not a man. This protector part is a defense mechanism, born out of trauma. When she learned that vulnerability and dependence wouldn’t keep her safe, she created the opposite—a persona that is self-reliant, emotionally distant, and often hardened. Her protector becomes the dominant face she shows to the world, a mask of strength that hides the deeper truth of her inner wounds.

Beneath this exterior, however, lies the little girl who still longs for connection, safety, and the freedom to be vulnerable without fear. The protector part, while necessary for survival at one point, now keeps her isolated. No matter how much she desires intimacy, the protector will resist, driven by the deep fear of being hurt again. To this part of her, the possibility of trusting a man and being abandoned or betrayed is far scarier than the loneliness of independence.

For this woman to attract a healthy relationship, she must begin to work with her protector. This means releasing the anger, sadness, and grief that fuel its resistance and slowly learning to trust again. By recognizing small signs of trustworthiness in the men around her and allowing them to prove themselves, she can begin to shift the dynamic. Even when some men fail to meet her expectations, she must hold space for hope, remaining faithful that she will eventually find a man who is stronger than her protector.

Only by encountering a man who can offer her true safety—both emotional and physical—can her protector relax. It is only then that she will be able to step into her feminine energy, allowing herself to be vulnerable, open, and trusting in love once more

16/09/2024

work

BLOCKED THROAT

Many people in our society have a blocked throat chakra, which hinders their ability to express themselves authentically and speak their truth. This blockage often stems from something in our psyche known as a "protector part." As children, when we are denied the full expression of our voice—whether through the use of pacifiers, being shamed by parents for what we say in front of others, or because we reveal truths our parents aren’t ready to face—we develop a fear of rejection, abandonment, and shame around speaking out.

As adults, it’s not only because of how others treated our self-expression in the past; it’s because we continue to carry that protector part within us. Its role is to shield us by blocking our voice, silencing our truth, and creating tension in our throats. This protector part is still living in the past, trying to protect us from the greater pain of rejection by causing discomfort in the present whenever we attempt to express ourselves.

Ask yourself: where in your life are you afraid to speak? What are the imagined consequences you tell yourself will happen if you allow your voice to be heard? In what situations do you silence yourself, or feel regret for speaking up or staying silent? These are the moments where you are unconsciously blocking your throat chakra, continuing to protect yourself from potential rejection, but at the cost of creating tension and pain in the present.

Join my upcoming workshop to work on this in a safe container of women:⤵️

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/voice-activating-womens-circle-tickets-1017965370827?aff=oddtdtcreator&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAabMstI0nJTzCLuRn50h6C3T5MGzbjibGnOYra5OaedoMo0OFpfv8BuvBDE_aem_hf7CM4t0kGKF30tK5G6hrw

Experience a deep journey of understanding & recognizing voice blocking patterns. Experience energy transmission & express your voice.

12/09/2024

A traumatic experience is essentially an experience of separation. It's the gradual disconnection from the awareness of being one with everything and everyone around you. Over time, this disconnection deepens, leaving you stuck in the belief that other people's gains are your losses, that their happiness is something you can only envy, and that their abundance is something you're excluded from.

Healing from trauma is about restoring that lost sense of connection. When you begin to help others by making their lives easier, connecting them to the right people, or simply contributing to their happiness, you're not just helping them—you’re helping yourself. In essence, by uplifting others, you're reconnecting with the collective oneness we all share.

You begin to understand that other people's successes are not separate from your own. Helping someone else succeed means you, too, are contributing to the growth, abundance, and resourcefulness of the whole. In this way, their gain is your gain, and healing comes from embracing this interconnectedness.

12/09/2024

For me, dating is about spending time with someone and paying attention to how I feel in my body when I’m around them. The first date is always an exploration, approached with curiosity and an open mind. It's about staying aware of what makes me feel relaxed as a woman versus what causes tension. That tension isn't from overthinking or projecting what he might be thinking about me. It's a deeper awareness—how his behavior affects my sense of safety in the moment.

The first date is like a trial run. By the second time we meet, I can communicate what I noticed during the first encounter—things that made me feel uneasy or unsafe—and give him the chance to respond, to meet me halfway. By the third date, if I find myself repeating the same concerns and he isn’t changing his behavior after I've clearly communicated my needs, that’s a signal. It's not the time to fall into a therapist-patient dynamic or try to fix him. Instead, it’s the time to set boundaries and recognize that the relationship isn't aligned.

If I feel the need to keep correcting him or explaining what I need, and he isn’t listening, that’s my cue to walk away. It’s not my job to teach him how to be a man. Trying to force something that isn’t working only leads to frustration. My focus is on protecting my energy, staying relaxed, and allowing things to flow naturally without chasing or over-correcting.

Photo credit .visuals 💐

08/09/2024

Many men struggle with a lack of affection and nurturing from their partners. It’s not that women don’t want to be affectionate; it’s that, for a woman to be nurturing, affectionate, and open to physical touch, she must first feel safe. A woman needs to be in a space where she feels secure—emotionally, mentally, and physically. What creates that sense of safety varies from woman to woman, but for any woman, safety is the foundation upon which her feminine energy thrives.

A woman’s feminine energy can only fully express itself when she is also balanced with healthy masculine energy within herself. This balance allows her to be open, vulnerable, and receptive. So what can men do to help their partner become more affectionate and comfortable with physical touch? The answer lies in creating a safe space for her.

To do this, you must first truly understand the woman you’re with. You need to communicate openly—ask her questions about what she likes, what she dislikes, and how she feels loved. How does she prefer to be spoken to? How does she want to be touched? Does she want to give consent before physical touch, for any touch? These conversations are key to creating the emotional and physical security she needs. If she’s resistant to touch, it may be a sign that she doesn’t feel safe, or perhaps that she isn’t fully attracted to you. The only way to know is to ask. It’s crucial to understand how she defines safety and attraction.

However, before a woman can articulate what safety means to her, she needs to know herself. If you’re with a woman who hasn’t yet discovered what safety feels like for her specifically, you, as her partner, can help guide the way by creating an open communication where she can tell you without consequences (aka rejection) about how she feels in every given moment. This mutual exchange of understanding fosters trust and deepens the connection between you.

In the end, if your woman does not know what feels safe for her, it might be a reflection for you as a man to see whether you yourself know what safety in relationships mean for you.

07/09/2024

MONDAY, SEP 10th
6pm EST
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