Behaviour Coach HK

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Behaviour Coach HK

Helping families move from daily power struggles to mutual understanding and progress — without relying on punishments, bribes, or yelling.

Certified Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) Provider | Based in Hong Kong

"Kids do well if they can."

03/11/2025

✏️ 與孩子溝通的實用小技巧 🫶🏽
⚠️唔好再追問「點解呀？」⚠️
想進一步瞭解點樣透過CPS方法提問，更明白孩子嘅內心，歡迎預約免費諮詢，俾我哋幫你開啟親子對話新篇章！🥰

#教育 #親子教養 #育兒秘訣
#家庭教育 #家庭諮商 #育兒技巧分享 #兒童心理 #教育支援

30/10/2025

✏️ Quick Tip for better communication with your kids 🫶🏽
⚠️STOP asking "WHY"!⚠️

If you want to know more about how to ask questions in order to understand your kids better, contact us for a free appointment to get started!

21/05/2025

CPS (Collaborative & Proactive Solutions) in a Nutshell!

25/04/2025

"I hate it. It’s boring." 😒📚

That’s how a lot of kids respond when asked about something they’re struggling with.

But that’s not the whole story.
And if we want to solve the problem, we need to understand it better. 🧩

In CPS, we use a simple but powerful tool called Reflective Listening 🔁🧠
It’s about listening without judgement and gently asking the child to say more. 👂❤️

We mirror what they’ve said, and follow up with clarifying phrases like:

💬 “How so?”
💬 “What do you mean?”
💬 “Can you say more about that?”
💬 “I don't quite understand.”

👨‍👩‍👧 Example conversation:

Parent: I’ve noticed you’ve been having trouble getting started on your English book report. What’s up?

Child: I hate it. It’s so boring. 😩

Parent: You hate it and think it’s boring. How so?

Child: Writing sucks. ✍️💢

Parent: Writing sucks? What do you mean?

Child: I don’t get it.

Parent: You don’t get it. Can you say more about that?

Child: I don’t get how to write the sentences.

Parent: You don’t get how to write the sentences. Can you say more?

Child: I don’t know how to start the first paragraph. 📄

💡 See how each question brings us a step closer to the real concern?
Instead of arguing, correcting, or lecturing — we’re listening. 👂🧘‍♀️

That’s how collaboration begins. 🤝✨

10/04/2025

Why am I always arguing with my child?!

At the heart of most conflicts is this:�👉 One person's concerns are being ignored, while the other's expectations are being imposed.
Think about the last argument you had with your child.�Did you know what your child’s concerns were?�Did you understand what made it hard for them to meet your expectation?
Now imagine if you had a way to find out what those concerns are — and solve the problem in a way that’s both realistic and respectful of everyone’s needs.�That’s exactly what the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model helps us do.

🧠 Let’s look at a real-life example:
Mum was adamant that John eat a nutritious breakfast before school — a glass of milk and a slice of toast with jam. After all, how could he possibly focus on an empty stomach?
But John would avoid breakfast at all costs:�🔹 Distracted by toys�🔹 Running away�🔹 Even tried flushing his food down the toilet
Mum tried everything — rewards, punishments, encouraging words, loud voices, even a point system. Nothing worked. In fact, it made things worse.

💡 Here’s what Mum didn’t know:�John was getting stomach cramps from the milk, making his school days miserable. But John had difficulty communicating — he didn’t have the skills to say, “Milk hurts my stomach.”�All he knew was: Breakfast = Pain.

🛠 How the CPS Model Helps
The CPS approach teaches parents to:�✅ Identify and understand their child’s concerns�✅ Express their own concerns clearly�✅ Work together on solutions that are realistic and mutually satisfactory
When both parties feel heard and respected, conflict fades away.
Because here’s the truth:�Kids (and people) do well if they can.

📩 Want to learn how CPS can help reduce conflict in your home?
Let’s talk.

15/01/2024

Effective (& Not so effective strategies) for solving problems with your child.
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Traditional Strategy – Plan A
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In Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), we recognize there are various game plans to go about solving a problem that has cropped up. Plan A is the old-school way where adults identify a problem and decide what’s going to happen to rectify the problem. Now the child is not involved in generating solutions nor have their points of view been considered. It looks something like this: 🤔
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Vegetable Mandate:
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Concerning Behaviour: Child refuses to eat vegetables and dreads mealtime.
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Plan A Approach:
Parents assume that it’s the type salad leaves the child hates and opt for a different more expensive variety for the child. Surely this would do the trick! Now, this solution is one sided and doesn’t consider the child’s concerns. In fact we don’t even know what the child’s concerns are yet! Mum and Dad force compliance with some form of punishment hoping to “motivate” the child.
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Ineffectiveness:
Child resists, and mealtime becomes a battleground. This solution is also largely based on the assumption that the child is “unmotivated” and “just being difficult” hence the need for a punishment to force compliance.
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Where Plan A Falls Short:
Now, while intentions are coming from a good place, Plan A fails to address what is getting in the way (or what’s making it hard) for the child to meet the parents expectation. In this case, eating his vegetables. Forced solutions (Plan A) often creates conflict resulting in concerning behaviours and deteriorating relationships.
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Meet Plan B: Teamwork for the Win!
Plan B is all about teamwork, and finding realistic solutions that address the concerns of both parents and child. Lets illustrate what this looks like : Parents notice that child is having difficulty finishing their vegetables during dinner time. Parents are concerned that child is not getting enough fibre in diet which could result in health complications down the line. After a thought provoking discussion with child to find out their concerns, parents identified that the child isn’t opposed to eating vegetables. Only the salad dressing which the vegetables are often saturated in.
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Having both concerns on the table. Parents (getting enough fibre in diet) and kids concern (too much salad dressing). They generated a solution that was realistic and addressed both concerns.
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This one was an easy solve. Child suggested that parents put salad dressing on the side in the future which Mum was more that happy to do.
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Problem solved. No more chaos at dinner time.
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01/01/2024

Should I be teaching my kid lagging skills? 🤔
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Frustration tolerance, emotion regulation, problem-solving, and communication are some skills that kids with concerning behaviours often lag in. 🧠 Now, while it's perfectly logical to assume that if one lacks a skill, we should teach them this skill directly, unfortunately, there is no magic button for direct skill teaching. 🚫 However, Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) is a great way to enhance those skills and find solutions to the triggers of concerning behaviour. 🌟
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One key takeaway is that parents don't need to become experts in every lagging skill. 🚀 Let's say a child is lagging in organizational skills, doing homework a nightly battle. The CPS process doesn't demand parents become organizational gurus. It involves the child in generating solutions that consider both parental and personal concerns, fostering collaboration and proactive problem-solving instead. 🤝
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CPS is not just about addressing lagging skills; it's a journey that indirectly hones essential life skills for both parents and children. 🌈 It's a shared effort toward understanding, empathy, and finding solutions that work for everyone. Real-life challenges become opportunities for growth and connection. 🌱

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Hong Kong

Telephone

+85297414656

Website

http://behaviourcoach.hk/

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