https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GX316C81, https://www.briananddave.com/3-day-breathworkseries-webclass, https://gofund.me/2f

Brian & Dave, hongkong, Hong Kong (2026)

21/05/2026

Some people only know how to love you when you are useful to them.

The moment you set boundaries…
The moment you stop explaining yourself…
The moment you choose your peace over their chaos…

you suddenly become “difficult.”

Family caregivers know this pain deeply.

You can sacrifice years of your life quietly carrying everyone…
but the moment you protect your mental health,
people who never carried the burden will question your character.

Not every battle deserves your nervous system.
Not every accusation deserves a response.
Not every relationship deserves unlimited access to you.

Walking away is not weakness.
Sometimes it is the first act of self-respect after years of self-abandonment.

If this spoke to you, save it for the days guilt tries to pull you back into survival mode.

And repost this for the caregiver who feels emotionally trapped but too guilty to leave toxic situations.

21/05/2026

They call family caregivers ‘users’ the moment money, inheritance, or legal decisions become involved.

Funny how nobody questioned us when we were carrying the burden alone.

Not during the sleepless nights.
Not during the medical emergencies.
Not during the emotional breakdowns.
Not during the years our lives quietly disappeared into caregiving.

Nobody asked if WE were okay while we were sacrificing our bodies, careers, freedom, relationships, mental health, and future just to keep someone safe.

But the moment cognitive decline, medications, hospital bills, and finances collide…

suddenly the absent relatives become investigators.

Suddenly the people who were missing for years have endless opinions.
Suddenly the caregivers become suspects.

That’s the part nobody prepares you for.

Family caregivers are expected to give everything silently…
then defend themselves the moment control, money, or inheritance enters the conversation.

The people who never witnessed the daily reality somehow believe they know the full story from a distance.

They never saw:
the exhaustion,
the panic,
the burnout,
the emotional damage,
the thousands of invisible sacrifices no one claps for.

But they will still judge the caregiver carrying the heaviest load.

Most unsupported caregivers know this pain intimately:
You spend years protecting someone you love…
only to be treated like a threat by people who were never there.

If you are a family caregiver who has ever been falsely accused, judged, abandoned, or emotionally destroyed while trying to do the right thing…

share this.

Because this is happening inside more families than people realize.

20/05/2026

To every unsupported family caregiver: Please share this post.

Because too many of us are silently sacrificing our lives while being treated like we are disposable once other people want control.

My name is Dave.

For 13 years, I have been a full-time unpaid caregiver to my life partner’s mother.

Not for money.
Not for praise.
Not because it was convenient.

But because we loved her.

We stayed through the hospital visits.
The sleepless nights.
The emergencies.
The emotional exhaustion.
The years other people slowly disappeared from her life.

And now, the very people who neglected their mother for over a decade are trying to paint me as a nobody.

Harassing me.
Threatening lawsuits.
Trying to intimidate me for protecting the same vulnerable person they ignored for years.

What hurts the most is seeing how some people suddenly treat an elderly person with cognitive decline as if their humanity no longer matters.

As if having cognitive decline means they can now be manipulated.
Controlled.
Silenced.

She is still alive.

But they are already stripping away her rights.
Already making decisions around her as if her life no longer has value.
Already treating her like a problem to manage instead of a human being to love and protect.

That is what breaks me.

Because caregivers see everything.

We see who truly shows up.
We see who disappears.
And we see how quickly greed can change people once vulnerability, property, money, or control become involved.

This is the reality many family caregivers are living through behind closed doors.

Expected to sacrifice everything.
Expected to stay quiet.
Expected to absorb the emotional damage alone.

And the moment we finally speak about the pain, exhaustion, and injustice…
we become the villain.

Enough.

Family caregivers deserve protection too.
Elderly people with cognitive decline deserve dignity, humanity, and rights.
And caregivers who devoted years of their lives should not be discarded, threatened, or erased.

If you are a caregiver who feels unseen, emotionally abandoned, used, or deeply exhausted…

Please know this:
your sacrifices were real.
Your pain is real.
And you are not alone.

Please share this post for awareness.
Too many caregivers are suffering in silence right now.”

19/05/2026

All the comments they have made against my timeline video posted after that scandalous encounter yesterday.

They have all since been blocked but putting these screenshots out there so it’s documented.

19/05/2026

May 19, 2026 — 9:54AM as of this writing.

An incident happened today at around 8:45AM while we were doing our normal morning routine for our Mom at Parqal Mall together with our care team.

My ex-sibling from California, Emily Illo, together with her friend Sandy Filoteo, suddenly approached and encountered our Mom while holding a camera and recording the interaction.

Our care team immediately noticed the stress and confusion it was causing Mom. When they attempted to protect her and de-escalate the situation, threats of lawsuits immediately followed. The situation escalated very quickly, and the interaction became confrontational.

Fortunately, the security personnel at Parqal Mall were very understanding and witnessed the distress the situation caused.

For context, Emily Illo and the rest of the siblings who are based in the U.S. have remained uninvolved in Mom’s actual day-to-day care ever since the passing of our Dad.

Me, my partner Dave, Mom, and our care team here in the Philippines have not received any financial support, physical support, caregiving assistance, or any meaningful form of help whatsoever despite the ongoing realities of Mom’s condition and care needs.

Dave has also been hands-on in Mom’s daily care and has personally helped carry the physical, emotional, and logistical realities involved in caring for her.

Here is the timeline of events:
• November 23, 2024 (California): Lyn Encarnacion-Joson admitted to Kaiser Permanente San Leandro for acute medical care.

• November 24, 2024: Lyn transferred to ICU.

• November 25, 2024: Lyn called me stating she had chosen to discontinue all treatment and medication and believed she had days to a week to live.

• November 26, 2024: Beneficiaries were added to Lyn’s Charles Schwab account (~USD 6M). Beneficiaries included Josefina Cuento, Albert Encarnacion, Marcel Encarnacion, Emily Illo, Aleah Joson Jimenez, and Maria May Joson Santos.

On the same date, Lyn’s Dublin residence (~USD 1.5M) was transferred into Emily Illo’s name.

• November 27, 2024: Lyn discharged to home hospice.

• December 1, 2024: Lyn passed away at her residence.

• January 22, 2025: Marcel Encarnacion, who is based in the U.S., called asking me to assist Emily Illo with processing Lyn’s Transamerica life insurance claims where beneficiaries were me and Mom.

• January 28, 2025: Emily Illo told me by phone that she needed the Transamerica proceeds to cover Lyn’s mortgage because Lyn’s assets were supposedly “frozen.” She also confirmed there was no will or legal document stating otherwise.
During our Viber exchanges that same week, I asked whether probate had been filed. Emily replied that probate was “not needed right now.”
I nonetheless agreed to help because Lyn had just passed away and the family was grieving.

• February 2025: Ezrah from PH Lyn’s best friend from the ph who was in the US during Lyn’s final weeks came to visit us in our ph home and asked me if we received anything from Lyn’s estate to which we replied none and have no info about it and told her that my US siblingS are even wanting me to surrender insurance proceeds named after me and mommy to pay for Lyn’s mortgage.

Ezrah was dumbfounded and looking confused cryptically hinted that they shouldn’t be getting our insurance claims.

• March 12, 2025: I learned that Marcel had already received a Transamerica check while both my claim and Mom’s claim were declined due to form errors.

• April 2025: I was told by Emily that Lyn left me something but according to her it was up to the lawyers because they haven’t figured things out yet. Then after a while I was wired 20,000USD. When I asked if this was what the lawyers said Lyn left me - Emily said it was from Josefina, not Lyn’s.

The reasons for needing the insurance proceeds kept changing: First for the mortgage. Then funeral reimbursement. Then Lyn’s taxes. Then family mausoleum repairs.
Meanwhile, the Dublin property and Schwab interests had already been transferred.

• April 2025: A few weeks of back and forth, Ezrah told us the truth about Lyn’s entire estate. She showed us financial documents by Lyn used to support her application for a US tourist visa back in 2023. The Schwab account, the price of the house and many more. I was floored but I didn’t believe it right away. I couldn’t ask my US family coz if they lied to my face already and because I’m not in the US they could just keep lying with me not being able to prove anything.

So I asked for help from my lawyer friend in California and asked for their help to verify. That’s when I was advised to run for probate.

• May–June 2025: Continued requests from Emily regarding insurance claims involving both me and Mom.

• June 22, 2025: Marcel passed away.

• July 2025: I cut off all communication from all US siblings.

• July 9, 2025: Probate filed.

• August 20, 2025 (California Time): Alameda County Superior Court granted Letters of Administration in favor of the legal heir by intestate succession. When the judge asked where’s the will, the opposing counsel said there might be a will.

• August 21, 2025 (Philippines): Barangay Captain Ruel Solis, Rhoda Salomon Gonzales, Marie Solis Deguzman, and Attorney Hilda Guzman arrived at our residence requesting a wellness check on Mom despite legal representation already being in place.

• August 30 & September 3, 2025: Additional wellness checks continued despite posted notices requiring coordination through legal counsel.

• September 11, 2025: Emily Illo and her husband arrived at our home escorted by a barangay official without prior coordination with our legal counsel despite notices posted at our gate.

• October 2025: We left our home to seek refuge elsewhere because we no longer felt safe.

• December 17, 2025: Was the last hearing in Alameda. We did not to contest the will that they filed we withdrew from pursuing any legal move.

And now today, May 19, 2026, another public confrontation happened involving our elderly Mom while she was simply trying to go through her morning routine peacefully.

We are putting this out publicly because we are genuinely afraid of what else can happen given the ongoing legal and interpersonal conflict involved and the amount of resources they have.

WE DO NOT FEEL SAFE.

We are currently seeking legal help and protection.

We are sharing this for documentation and safety purposes only. We are asking for protection, and proper legal channels moving forward, especially because our elderly mother was directly affected by today’s encounter.

19/05/2026

Greed changes people.

I’ve watched it happen in real time.

My name is Dave. I’m a licensed nurse in the Philippines but for the last 13 years, I chose a different calling.

I chose caregiving.

Since 2012, Brian and I have been caring for his widowed, elderly mother. No salary. No shifts. No inheritance waiting for us. No safety net. Just the two of us showing up every single day while the rest of the family lived their lives abroad.

No sleepless nights on their end.
No hospital runs.
No diaper changes.
No emergency calls at 3am.
No watching someone you love slowly disappear to cognitive decline and chronic illnesses.

That was our life quietly for over a decade.

Then money appeared.

Brian’s sister passed away last year and left behind an estate worth roughly $10 million USD. No husband. No children.

Brian and his elderly mother received nothing from that estate.

And the life insurance proceeds legally named for Brian and his mother became something his ex-siblings spent months trying to take away.

That’s when the masks came off.

The moment Brian stopped complying and started protecting his mother’s legal rights and dignity, we became the villains.

Suddenly there were wellness checks.
Lawyer. Government officials.
False narratives being spread to anyone who would listen.

People who hadn’t lifted a finger in over a decade suddenly became “concerned.”

Here’s what breaks me:

This woman was neglected for years by the very people who now want control over what she leaves behind. And when Brian stood in the way of that, they didn’t just come after the assets.

They came after his character.
His credibility.
His sanity.

This is what financial abuse of the elderly looks like from the inside. It doesn’t announce itself. It disguises itself as concern. As family. As love.

Some people don’t want to care for the elderly.

They just want to control what the elderly leave behind.

And this is why caregiver stories can’t stay hidden.

Behind closed doors, there are people giving everything their careers, their health, their future to protect someone who cannot fully protect themselves. And they are being punished for it.

If you are that person accused, isolated, and painted as the villain for simply doing the right thing, you are not alone. And you are not crazy.

Greed is evil because it doesn’t just take money.

It takes people’s humanity with it.

Follow for real, unfiltered conversations about caregiving, family trauma, financial abuse, boundaries, and healing.

18/05/2026

They told you speaking up was bitterness.

They were wrong.

Bitterness holds on in silence — replaying, stewing, never moving.

Honesty names what happened, clearly, without apology — and then it moves.

When you finally say “that dynamic wasn’t okay,” you’re not being difficult. You’re being awake.

And waking up — especially after years of staying quiet to keep the peace — is one of the bravest things a person can do.

So if someone in your life calls your clarity “bitterness,” ask yourself: whose comfort does your silence protect?

You’re allowed to name what you lived through.
You’re allowed to say “that hurt.”
You’re allowed to stop pretending it didn’t happen.

That’s not bitterness.
That’s you finally telling the truth — to yourself first.

💛 Save this for the moment you need the reminder.

And if this landed — comment INVISIBLE and we’ll send you something that goes even deeper. A free resource for the ones who’ve been quietly carrying too much, for too long. 🤍

Brian & Dave

14/05/2026

The most exhausting thing about being in a draining relationship is that you stop noticing how tired you are.

You just normalize the weight.

Then someone comes along who actually helps you breathe and suddenly you realize how long you had been holding your breath.

If you have that person, tell them today.

If you don’t, this is your reminder that you deserve one.

Save this. You’ll need to remember it.

Brian & Dave

21/05/2026

21/05/2026

20/05/2026

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