28/07/2018
Here’s the third chapter of my book. Thank you, friends, for your kind comments so far!
Hope you like it!
www.balitarot.com
ANGELS AND DEMONS, BALI AND ME
An Expat’s Memoirs
By Andrea Angelique
REMEDY FOR WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME (AND LOTS OF OTHER EMPATHS WHO “TAKE THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY”.)
MAYBE THIS WILL HELP YOU LIGHTEN UP.
Here's an old remedy for whatever ails you and me, angsts us, and otherwise drives us crazy.
ZEN
So maybe amid the ruin, toil and suffering, we just let it go. Surrender to the excruciating possibility that the world is about to implode, the seas collide, the earth cave in and the sky fall.
So expect nothingness of the task at hand, and try to enjoy it, knowing whatever you're up against was designed to crush your will and render you enraged and jaded. and all alone in your pain.
The real point of this bu****it, at least the point as far as WE are concerned, is to find some way to enjoy it, in spite of how stupid it is. So take your time, and focus on the ruin, toil and suffering, and just let it go. Surrender to the excruciating nothingness of the task at hand, and try to enjoy it anyway.
So if you'd like to be an activist, see it as a pleasurable activity. The matter exists, and will continue to exist, and your poor will will probably not change the problem very much. The most important thing is for you to be happy.
Just let all the strife, anxiety, anger, frustration
Goooooooooo
DETACHMENT
"Detachment," she advised
While I was “should-ing” in high hysteria,
I know I'm right, I cried,
Righteous wrath,
So be it, let there be light!
I held the sword of righteousness and brandished it about wildly
While reasonable, temperate, and frightened people ran
away from me
Leaving me alone
In all my righteous splendor.
Did I accomplish anything with all that high drama?
I vented, fumed, cried, felt sorry for myself
Then went on to another day,
Good, bad, good and bad,
And modulated temperance,
Smiled at waiters, complimented smiles,
Felt loved, loved myself,
Watched the reaction of others to this conscious personna.
How would it be if I maintained that conscious being throughout the day,
Despite the fact that I had been s**t on, disappointed, betrayed?
And to maintain the smiling equanimity
What would I have had to give up?
Irritability, victimhood, anger, expectation.
Not to say that I didn't enjoy all of my fight, rage, vengeance.
Is temperance equal in its satisfaction to the drama of the fight?
Of thinking that I am always right?
***********
I try to practice the acceptance that Buddhists speak of, to Drift in the Tao, to accept the natural flow of life with an optimism, to say to every moment that came my way, good or bad, “thank you for the experience and the lesson, and now bring on the next moment, so I can give it the same love.”
Over and over I do this, moving those synapses closer and closer together, to the point where any synapses in my brain associated with sadness, regret, pessimism, fear, desire, melancholy, depression, may have a smaller and smaller chance of triggering anything but love and gratitude. Still ...
(Photo: Certificate of insanity )
WELL, I do believe in Spirits, I do see angels, I can tell you your future and talk to departed souls. And it’s great fun! And no one yet has wanted to lock me up...