Michelle Mulligan Counsellor & Psychotherapist

05/09/2025

Hyacinth Bucket is now 97 years old!! Wow, I feel totally old!!I have learned that she commenced her role in “Keeping up Appearances” at 50!! My age 🥴she was an old woman in my eyes, I am an old woman in others eyes, I’m sure, I tell people “I still feel like a young one”!! It’s all about how you perceive yourself, your life, the people around you, your abilities… just because we are all aging it does not mean that “it’s too late” to do anything your life desires.

I encourage you to read Patricia Rutledges (aka Hyacinth Buckets) slant on aging and life, it’s truly inspiring.

Michelle ❤️

The amazing Patricia Routledge, best remembered as Hyacinth Bucket in the classic BBC sitcom Keeping Up Appearances, has spoken openly about her long life in a moving podcast conversation.

Now aged 97, she reflected on her decades in the spotlight, her more recent hobbies, and shared thoughtful words of encouragement for those who may be anxious about ageing.

Patricia told Jay Speaks:
“My life didn’t quite take shape until my forties. I had worked steadily—on provincial stages, in radio plays, in West End productions—but I often felt adrift, as though I was searching for a home within myself that I hadn’t quite found.”

“At 50, I accepted the role of Hyacinth Bucket in Keeping Up Appearances. I thought it would be a small part in a little series. I never imagined that it would take me into people’s living rooms and hearts around the world.”

In her sixties, Patricia began learning Italian so she could sing opera in its original language. At 70, she made a return to the Shakespearean stage, something she had once thought was behind her.

During her eighties, she discovered a love for watercolour painting, creating flowers from her garden and portraits inspired by faces she recalled from her years travelling on the London Underground.

Now in her nineties, she cherishes the simple joys of life, saying she enjoys handwriting letters and treasures “the quiet.”

“I’m learning to bake rye bread. I still breathe deeply every morning. I still adore laughter – though I no longer try to make anyone laugh. I love the quiet more than ever.”

“I am writing this to tell you something simple: Growing older is not the closing act. It can be the most exquisite chapter – if you let yourself bloom again.

Let these years ahead be your treasure years. You don’t need to be famous. You don’t need to be flawless. You only need to show up – fully – for the life that is still yours.”

Absolutely brilliant from Dame Patricia 👏🏻

29/04/2025

Letting go of your Adult Child and navigating through what’s “Healthy and Unhealthy Attachment”…. This is something nobody prepares us for.

I find myself navigating my way through this for the last few months since my first born little bird has flown the nest. I sometimes feel confused in the whole arrangement because I miss her so much and yet I am so happy my now adult baby is independent and confident to fly on her own, butttt I miss my little girl so much, how did she grow up so quick?! She still rings me to tell me she has a headache if she had a bad day, that’s ok im still “needed” in a sense, but nothing prepares us for the push pull of this experience and what’s healthy and not. I think this piece explains the elements of this experience very well.

Michelle ❤️

The detachment a mother experiences when letting go of an adult child is a multifaceted and often profound emotional process.
Its not a sudden severing of ties, but rather a gradual shift in the mother-child relationship as the child transitions into independence.

Heres a breakdown of what this detachment can entail:

Emotional Shifts:
* A Sense of Loss and Grief:
Even though its a natural progression, mothers can experience a sense of loss akin to grief.
This can stem from the changing daily interactions, the feeling of no longer being the primary caregiver and the realization that their childs life is now largely separate from their own.
The "empty nest syndrome" is a well-known manifestation of this.

* Letting Go of Control and Worry: Mothers have often spent years ensuring their childs safety and well-being.
Letting go involves relinquishing a degree of control and learning to trust their adult child's decisions, even if they differ from their own.
This can be a source of anxiety and worry for some mothers.

* Redefining Identity:
For many mothers, a significant part of their identity is tied to being a parent.
As their children become independent, they may need to redefine their role and sense of purpose beyond active mothering.
This can be a time of self-discovery but also potential uncertainty.

* Mixed Emotions:
The detachment process often involves a complex mix of emotions.
There can be sadness and nostalgia for the past but also pride and joy in seeing their child thrive.
There might be relief at having more personal time, coupled with a pang of missing the daily connection.

* Emotional Distance (Healthy vs. Unhealthy):
A healthy detachment involves creating appropriate emotional boundaries, allowing the adult child to navigate their own life while still offering support when needed.
Unhealthy detachment can manifest as emotional unavailability, disinterest, or a premature pushing away, which can harm the parent-child relationship.

Behavioral and Relational Changes:
* Shifting from Caregiver to Supporter:
The mothers role evolves from direct caregiving to offering emotional support, guidance (when asked), and a safety net.
The dynamic becomes more adult-to-adult.

* Respecting Boundaries:
A crucial aspect of healthy detachment is respecting the adult child's boundaries regarding their personal life, decisions and space. This can be challenging after years of being deeply involved.

* Less Frequent Direct Involvement:
Daily interactions and involvement in the childs life naturally decrease as the adult child establishes their own routines, relationships and responsibilities.

* New Forms of Connection:
The relationship doesnt necessarily diminish but transforms.
Connection might shift to less frequent but more meaningful interactions, focusing on shared interests and mutual respect.

Psychological Aspects:
* Attachment Theory:
This theory suggests that the bond between parent and child evolves over time.
Healthy detachment in adulthood signifies a secure attachment where the child feels confident to explore independently, knowing the parent is still a secure base to return to if needed.

* Developmental Stages:
Both the parent and the adult child are navigating new developmental stages.
The mother might be entering a phase of re-focusing on personal goals, while the child is establishing their independence.

* Individual Differences:
The experience of detachment varies greatly among mothers.
Factors such as personality, the closeness of the previous relationship, the mothers support system and her own interests and activities play a significant role.

Challenges:

* Enabling vs. Supporting: Mothers may struggle with the balance between offering support and enabling dependence, hindering their childs growth.

* Difficulty Letting Go of the "Baby":
It can be emotionally challenging to see a grown adult instead of the child they nurtured for so long.

* Societal Expectations: Sometimes, societal norms or personal expectations can make it difficult for mothers to embrace their changing role.

The detachment a mother goes through is a complex emotional and relational adjustment.
Its a necessary process that allows the adult child to fully step into their own life while ideally maintaining a loving and supportive, albeit different, relationship with their mother.
A healthy detachment fosters independence, mutual respect, and an evolving bond that reflects the changing needs of both individuals.

"Life is a balance between holding on and letting go."

Rumi

On a personal note:
I Am going through this process right now and to be honest this has been one of the absolute most difficult things I have ever had to do.

I have practiced detachment for many years.
To some degree, I have had to let go of every single person I have ever loved.
But there is nothing, NOTHING, that can prepare a mother to learn how to detach from their child in a healthy, loving way.
I was talking with my husband and said to him:
"I feel lost.
The mother role is an identity I have lived with for 25+ years.
I dont know who I Am. And its confusing."
He said to me:
"Maybe it’s not about who you are but about who you want to become."

To the Mamas out there:
If you have gone through this or have yet to, just know that you are not alone, that every single feeling you experience upon the entire spectrum of emotion is VALID.
The only way to heal is to feel.

Bless your beautiful Mama hearts.
I bow deeply and with respect for the challenge we all share as being the Mothers.

One of the hardest things a mother will ever do is watch her heart walking around outside her chest and hope the world is gentle with it.

~Monique Satonin
Art: FreePik

Sacred Divine Feminine

Empower Wholeness is designed to awaken your God/Goddess Self potential. Unleash your heightened awareness through your physical grounding and embodiment.

02/04/2025

Love this Quote from Roger Lee… when you find yourself in a dark place, please remember it won’t always stay dark, most of my strengths and power has come from being in a dark place, I always stick to the quote “you can get bitter or better”…. I really feel getting better ❤️‍🩹 is way more empowering, life isn’t a bed of roses for anybody, we all are faced with hard times in life, no matter who you are, this too will pass.

Michelle ❤️

19/03/2025

Grief.. I think this beautiful piece depicts grief and how it resonates for us all, it’s not linear, there’s no set rules. As humans are we prepared enough? How and why does it impact us so profoundly? Are we ever ready for the avalanche of painful emotions that drown us after a loved one departs this world? I often wonder can we equip our children better? How can we prepare ourselves for death and the grief that comes with the loss of a loved one…. The simple answer is, for me “we have to grieve if we loved”…. There’s no quick escape from it, it gets us all at stages in life, some more than others, when we have sudden deaths, suicides, adored children dying through illness or accidents… it’s just the most painful type of grief, for me as a mother I don’t think it’s natural or expected when we give birth to a beautiful baby, we fantasise about the life they might have, the personality they will have, praying they will have a happy life, our life’s work is to provide, nurture and protect these little souls … so when parents have to endure the horrible loss of a child.. grief is an inevitable part of the remainder of their life, sadly.

On the journey to school today, I was having the chats with my 11 year old daughter, we mentioned how precious our parents are, I said “I’m dreading the day I can’t talk or see my parents”… she piped in so quickly “well, the day will come mammy, you can’t think about dying just enjoy living and make the most of the time we have with our loved ones”!!! I nearly started crying, of course she’s right and in that moment I realised maybe I’m doing an alright job at this parenting thing. Live in the moment enjoy and appreciate the love you have right now, have no regrets, because as you all know this life is very short.

Michelle ❤️

Grief is not just an emotion—it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once resided.

In the beginning, it feels unbearable, like a wound that will never close. But over time, the raw edges begin to mend. The pain softens, but the imprint remains—a quiet reminder of what once was. The truth is, you never truly "move on." You move with it. The love you had does not disappear; it transforms. It lingers in the echoes of laughter, in the warmth of old memories, in the silent moments where you still reach for what is no longer there. And that’s okay.

Grief is not a burden to be hidden. It is not a weakness to be ashamed of. It is the deepest proof that love existed, that something beautiful once touched your life. So let yourself feel it. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself remember.

There is no timeline, no “right” way to grieve. Some days will be heavy, and some will feel lighter. Some moments will bring unexpected waves of sadness, while others will fill you with gratitude for the love you were lucky enough to experience.

Honor your grief, for it is sacred. It is a testament to the depth of your heart. And in time, through the pain, you will find healing—not because you have forgotten, but because you have learned how to carry both love and loss together.

~ Anonymous (author unknown)

**edited for fact check

06/03/2025

Over my years practicing I have been contacted so much in relation to Play Therapy. I can now proudly recommend Nadia Farrell she has just opened a beautiful Play Therapy Practice named Little Roots-Play Therapy this practice is situated in the middle of Athlone Town. I know Nadia since childhood and have always admired her down to earth, hard working and determined nature, she truly is a beautiful person. It is not easy recommend people but I have zero hesitation in recommending Nadia to help your little one to navigate through difficult time in their life, it has become so stressful living in this world for children, I honestly feel if you can get them help to identify and help them express and communicate their needs during these difficult times, support them from an early age it will make the world of difference in relation to adult mental health.

Wishing you every success Nadia, I know you will do so well. I feel the children and parents who cross your path will be so lucky.

Michelle ❤️

One of my favourite quotes to describe one of the many benefits of Play Therapy💜🌈 Little Roots-Play Therapy

26/02/2025

Mindfulness… what is it? It is the practice of living in the moment, taking in your surroundings, trying to focus on the details around you, connecting with your senses… what does it look like, smell like, feel like, just basically shutting down all the clutter in your brain and encouraging yourself to be in the hear and now. Focusing on your breath and really consciously taking in long breaths in and out, this really is a practice that everyone can adapt with practice, it really does help. All we have is right now, right now in this moment, we don’t have the past and we don’t have the future, we spend so much time in our heads thinking about conversations we had, thinking and worrying about things that generally don’t happen, it really is a waste of time when you think about it. How many times have you got into your car and drove home and not remembered much of the journey? I think we are all guilty of this, we live in our heads so much. Come out of the head, today I urge you to try practice being here, in this moment, when you have your morning cuppa of choice, give yourself time to enjoy it, taste it, let the heat of the cup warm your hands, feel it in your mouth, enjoy the taste and savour it, feel gratitude for your cuppa, feel thankful for today and try look at the simple things in life that make us happy. If you can get up and focus on today you are blessed.

Have a great day.

Michelle 🌷❤️🌷

24/02/2025

Even in your hardest days, you know the days when absolutely nothing seems to be going your way, it’s just one knock after another😭and yes, it does get so disheartening and hard, but it doesn’t stay that way. It will always get better. I know these last few months have been hard for people, the weather has been so s**t (I was trying to think of a nicer more polite word but couldn’t find one as fitting as “s**t”).

When you are going through really rough times, just remind yourself “Tomorrow is another day with fresh new possibilities and opportunities” and when you are lucky enough to wake up in the morning tell yourself “today is going to be a good day”… some might call it positive affirmations, I call it survival when we are struggling. I totally believe we get whatever energy we put out there to the universe.

So, on this wet miserable, moody Monday I urge you to remember that better days will come.

Michelle ❤️

08/01/2025

28/12/2024

As we get over the overindulgence of the last few days of Christmas 🎄 and make our way to a brand New Year…. 2024 has been a hard year for so many, a year of sad Goodbyes for so many, painful grief has wrapped its painful grip like barbed wire, Relationships ending… people trying to navigate themselves around a very different life, bad health for so many, Family fallouts… seeing people through very different lens, loneliness and not forgetting the heavy load of Stress… it catches us all at different stages in life.

For me, it was one of the better years, a year of transformation, change and growth, growth I hope to bring with me into this new blank canvas.

As they say “Out with the old and in with the new”… as we approach this New Year, I always recommend writing a letter to your future self, in the letter write what’s holding you back from living your best life? What measures do you need to put in place to lead a healthier more fulfilling life? What would you like to say goodbye to (habits, things or even people who are holding you back from being a happier version of yourself)… be realistic and honest with yourself.

I firmly believe in the theory of what you put out into the universe you will receive back in abundance, if you believe it will work.

So, if you have managed to get to the end of this post, thank you 🙏 thank you for engaging with my page over the last year, i am so grateful for your support🙏

Thank you to my beautiful clients past and present, it has been my honour to work with you over the last year, thank you for trusting me, I hope life is good for you all and I sincerely hope 2025 is a wonderful year for you all.

Michelle ❤️

19/12/2024

As we are fast approaching the Christmas Holidays please be mindful that this time of year can be extremely difficult for a lot of people…. If you have lost a loved one, this time of the year can be bloody horrible, painful, so sad, it is like someone magnifies the pain x 100. So, please check in on your loved ones, be kind to everyone you meet, you just don’t know what’s going on in people’s life’s, just be kinder. People get so stressed at this time of year (myself included 🤦‍♀️) it’s only one day!!! It will come and go. Just be appreciative of the good people in your life, tell them how important they are to you, reach out to grieving people, offer a gesture of kindness… I can guarantee you they will appreciate your kindness and compassion.

What I’m trying to say is… let’s be kinder, more compassionate, kinder to the shop keepers, kinder to people we meet, you just don’t know the pain they’re carrying.

Michelle ❤️

06/12/2024

Isn’t that all we need? Your presence.. you can’t fix us, when we are going through rough painful times we need support, we need to know that someone is there no matter what and they care. We need constant knowledge that we are not alone, there is people who care for us. Dealing with life crisis without this knowledge makes everything a lot more difficult. Some people don’t like physical touch, like a hug 🤗 for me… a hug can solve so many problems and reassure me so much, it’s way better than any comforting words.

I feel this is exceptionally important when someone is grieving. In Ireland we have this urge to say “ah sure aren’t they in a better place now?” Or, “ah sure weren’t they a great she, god bless them?” Or, “aragh I’m sure it’s an ease now, at least they didn’t suffer much, I know a woman whose husband who was sick for donkeys years, at least they didn’t suffer like that poor man”!! When something starts off with “and blessed!

Don’t start off with any of the above phrases with a bereft and grieving person… just be there for them, simple acts of kindness go a long way, just show up and be their friend, your presence will help heal them so much.

If we could all be a little kinder, more thoughtful this world would be a way better place.

Much love to you all, sending love to anyone who reads this.

Michelle ❤️

Ernest Hemingway once said: In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much.

Please don’t try to fix me. Don’t take on my pain or push away my shadows. Just sit beside me as I work through my own inner storms. Be the steady hand I can reach for as I find my way.

My pain is mine to carry, my battles mine to face. But your presence reminds me I’m not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It’s a quiet reminder that I am worthy of love, even when I feel broken.

So, in those dark hours when I lose my way, will you just be here? Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold my hand until the dawn arrives, helping me remember my strength.

Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps me remember who I am, even when I forget.
💙💙

28/11/2024

Never discredit your gut… if you’re ever stuck with the answer… just sit with yourself, try come out of your thinking head and ask yourself “what is my gut telling me about this situation”? That’s the answer. Always go with your gut, it will never fail you.

Michelle