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John Prendergast Anxiety & Psycho-Trauma Therapist

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John Prendergast Anxiety & Psycho-Trauma Therapist

Anxiety and Trauma reduction. Workplace Stress Reduction and EMDR Trauma Therapy Service Clinics in Athlone Co Westmeath and online.

As a trained Psychotherapist & EMDR Trauma Therapist, John Prendergast can offer expert and confidential help in cutting worry, fear, panic, nightmares, stress and related areas. Nationwide Workplace and Corporate Stress Reduction Service

24/02/2026

We all grieve in our own way, but there are some things that are common to us all.

Grief can affect us numerous ways: anger, sadness, anxiety, poor sleep, hurt. Usually, it brings our mind to the loss or the painful parts of memories of the departed. It can focus us on that pain and loss and keep us from remembering the good times, the happiness which that person brought into our lives, the contribution they made.

At times like that, when the pain is real and high, we are more vulnerable than usual.

Our risk of sinking into depression, anxiety and poor physical health is higher than usual. What we do as we grieve will have a big impact on our future and on the people around us who care about us.

Today I want to talk about 3 common reactions or behaviours that often accompany grief and which harm a lot of people.

They are:

Isolation
Not eating right
Mistaking hurt for a sign of love

All are natural and all can be harmful. We won’t always be able to step out from them in every moment but recognising them can make it easier more often to engage in behaviours that are healthier and more helpful.

When we’re upset, we often avoid people and activities. However, social isolation increases our risk of depression, anxiety, and cognitive decline. It also impacts physical health negatively too.

When possible, it’s best to still engage with the world as and when we can. It’s not all or nothing. Some days we will be able to push ourselves and be more social and some days we won’t. If we can increase our social engagement it will help.

We can only do our best, be gentle with yourself as you go.

Not eating right is very common with many types of distress.

Stress hormone, tightened muscles from the distress, and lack of motivation can all play a part. It’s not as simple as us not wanting to eat, if actually feels harder to eat.

Recognising that and making a plan is important.

We may need to change our eating habits. Maybe smaller more frequent meals are an option. Perhaps using supplements for nutrition will help. We will all differ, but putting a focus on making sure our food intake is fit for our needs in terms of maintaining health is very important.

If we’re becoming malnourished everything will feel worse.

Mistaking hurt for a sign of love is a natural cognitive illusion with grief.

We feel that unless we are in pain that somehow it would be saying ‘they didn’t matter’ or that we didn’t love them as much.

Somehow the mind confuses honouring the person who has passed with a need to keep feeling the pain of that parting.

Most people I’ve helped with grief have felt this, but they have also acknowledged that the person who has passed would never want them to keep hurting years after they passed.

We have to work to remind ourselves that pain is not the same as love.

It’s ok to still live and not to hurt. That doesn’t mean we don’t care, or that we somehow didn’t love them or any negative judgements like those.

We can honour them in more useful and healthy ways.

There’s no one right way to grieve, but I would suggest we try to minimise aspects of grief, which, while natural, are likely to make things worse in terms of our physical and mental health.

Death is a part of life we can’t avoid. I have no big answers on that. While we are alive, I would suggest we look to reduce hurt and suffering, support and encourage others, and live as fulfilling a life as we can.

With that in mind, consider these points in your own way:
Don’t isolate
Don’t mistake pain for love
Prioritize a health diet
Don’t shut down the grief entirely
Don’t wallow in the grief entirely

Remember that looking after yourself is not the same as not caring.

Consider what triggers the sharpest grief and control how much you engage with those triggers. It’s OK for the mind to go to positive things too.

When grief is recent it is usually sharp. It's normal to feel hurt and loss. However, please don't let it lead to isolation. Keep in touch with friends and loved ones. We are important to others so let them in, let them help with any suffering, even if it's just through having company.

Grief usually lessens over time as the mind works through it. It's estimated that 2 years is the usual time for grief to resolve itself to being less painful. The loss may always be with us, but the pain element in it should be much less sharply felt after time.

In cases where grief is still 'locked-in' years later it can act like a trauma where the hurt pressures the emotions and creates stress reactions. If suffering painful grief long after a loss, I'd strongly recommend seeing a trauma therapist to help reduce the pain of it.

The big advantage of this is not just less pain in life, but that usually we will find we can remember the good times and celebrate the life of the person who has passed on and not just be drawn to the feelings around their passing.

Here are two short articles from the mayo Clinic on dealing with grief and reminders of grief. I hope they help some of you.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guide/support-groups/what-is-grief%C2%A0

https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/7-steps-for-managing-grief-and-loss/

Feel free to get in touch with questions or for recommendations for help in your area. I’m always happy to help find someone nearby who can help.

Change is easier than you think.

All the best,
John

info@JohnPrendergast.ie
085 1313700

www.JohnPrendergast.ie

John Prendergast MA, MBACP, is an award-winning specialist in Anxiety and Psychological Trauma. His area of interest is the fear system of the human mind and body, and his work centres around reducing suffering for individuals one-on-one and in groups. He lived decades of severe anxiety in his own life before finding help and then studying with some of the world’s leaders in reducing anxiety, resolving PTSD, and living happier lives. He sees clients in clinic in Athlone, Westmeath/Roscommon, Ireland, and around the world via Zoom. He also delivers training to businesses and through seminars across the UK and Ireland.

09/01/2026

Supporting family or friends with Grief

We all feel the pain of grief at some point in life. Whether it’s the chest pain and inability to get a word out, the crying and heart ache or other signs, it can hit like a truck!

People try to help but it’s very hard to find the right thing to say or do.

I’ve seen so many people over the years in clinic and personal life who have lost loved ones and a number of common things come up.

Here are some to consider when we see someone suffering loss and grief.

1. We want to be comforting but sometimes what we say can hurt more.

“…need to get over it”
“…move past it”
“Think less about it…”

And similar phrases are meant to help, but they very often come off as condescending, lacking understanding, or even just plain insulting.

Consider if giving advice is helpful with where they are at in their grief. Supporting them by being there and listening can be much more helpful when things are still very raw.

2. Ask, don’t tell.

When we’re hurting with grief we will have a large stress response as part of that reaction. This is a natural part of how the brain and mind operate in such pain.

That makes us very sensitive to any perceived criticism, and we are likely to be closer to anger and irritability than we usually are. Uninvited advice can often feel like criticism.

Phrasing the same things as a question rather than a suggestion can have a very different psychological response.

3. Be comfortable with silence.

It’s natural for conversation not to flow easily when in the depths of grief. Feeling we need to fill every moment with speaking can pressure the interaction and make it feel uncomfortable for all involved.

Being able to allow periods of silence and to sit comfortable with that as a natural aspect of interaction is a huge help.

Activities that bring people together without the need for filling to void by talking can be a good option.

Going for a walk with them.
Watching a movie with them.
Playing a game with them etc.

Be there, support, don’t feel it has to always be chatting.

4. Don’t always ask.

I see this a lot with grief and also with health worries.

We try to be supportive and show we care and we ask, “how are you doing?”

Sadly, each time anyone does that it can’t help but trigger the person back to the grief.

I sometimes will say to people up front: “Look, it’s not that I don’t care, but I bet you’re having that conversation endlessly. I’m not going to ask. We’ll chat about something else when we meet unless you want to steer the conversation that way”. And then we move on to something else.

Can we find ways to engage the person suffering other than by referencing the suffering? If so, that may help a lot.

5. Be careful around speaking of the person who’s gone.

This is a one that takes consideration. We don’t want to pretend they didn’t exist, but sometimes people keep going back to how great they were, some funny story about them, anecdotes about how much they were loved or are missed etc.

Just like asking how someone is doing, while these may bring comfort, they also can trigger the grief again.

We have to use judgement as to how often we do this and when and where it’s best done. Sometime sit is the right move, but be considerate in going there.

Look at the physical response of the listener. Often, we feel we need to be strong when we’re hurting, and we put on a front, and we say what is expected. Look to see if there are signs of upset underneath. If so, it may be well to avoid this topic being too often spoken of.

I hope this gives some useful food for thought. Our goal is for the pain to reduce when it comes to grief.

Living life, social company, exercise, good diet, all the usual things help.

If we want to help someone suffering grief, it’s helping them to continue living life that can make a profound difference and support them as the grief hopefully processes through.

I’ll post soon about living with grief from the point of view of the sufferer.

If someone is feeling the loss of a recent loss, I can recommend good grief counsellors who can help when things are fresh.

When grief is still sharp years later it can be stored as a trauma in the brain, but this too can be treated.

What we aim for in both cases is to lessen the pain. It’s not about getting over it, forgetting it, etc. We can love someone and honour their memory without condemning ourselves to constant hurt.

That’s the last thing they would want for us.

Pain is not love, but grief tries to confuse that issue.

Feel free to get in touch with questions or for recommendations for help.

Have a great week,
John

info@JohnPrendergast

085 1313700

www.JohnPrendergast.ie

John Prendergast MA, MBACP, is an award-winning specialist in Anxiety and Psychological Trauma. His area of interest is the fear system of the human mind and body, and his work centres around reducing suffering for individuals one-on-one and in groups. He lived decades of severe anxiety in his own life before finding help and then studied with some of the world’s leaders in reducing anxiety, resolving PTSD, and living happier lives. He sees clients in clinic in Athlone, Westmeath/Roscommon, Ireland, and around the world via Zoom. He also delivers training to businesses and through seminars across the UK and Ireland.

29/09/2025

It’s not just in my head!

Pain in gut, headaches, heart pounding, sweating, it’s real!

Yet we’re told over and over again: “it’s just in the head, there’s nothing wrong!”

Few things are as frustrating as knowing what we are feeling and having it denied by the professional time and again.

Emotion has a real physical element.

Grief is an easy example. If we’re caught with grief we can be desperately trying to speak or even breathe but the chest can just hold tight and have us fighting for that breath.

We can be shuddering and trying to make the words come but physically we are held back.

That is in our head. It’s also controlling our body. It’s real. This concept shouldn’t be that difficult for professionals to grasp.

That knot in our stomach when worried is another real physical reaction – and it can come from the mind.

Muscles tighten in response to stress. Again, real, physical and from the mind, but that’s very different from there being nothing wrong.

I could go on and on with lists of genuine physical reactions that come from the mind.

Anxiety, depression, trauma are all real things. They change how the brain activates, which parts of the brain are resourced, and what physical responses are created with them.

Some of that can be useful reactions in real danger, such as pressure to empty the bladder and bowels before a fight or running for our lives. There is no need to carry that extra weight when speed is necessary so the bowels open.

Some reactions can be a side effect of the resources going into the emergency – forgetting simple stuff when in a crisis can come about because that part of the brain is downgraded in favour of fear and self-preservation systems.

In essence, I don’t need to remember even my name when I’m fighting off wolves, so the brain prioritises areas involved in fighting and running or playing dead when in real danger.

It can also occur from being kept wound-up and on alert for too long. Decades of anxiety had depleted my immune system in my 30’s and I was always sick.

All these things were ‘in my head’ and also completely real physical responses.

My advice is to break out of the blame game. We often add a layer of extra feeling onto our already bad feeling by beating ourselves up for feeling bad.

Rather than think “it’s all in my mind’ ask the question “what is my mind doing to try and help me, but which is causing this bad physical feeling?”

When I used to have panic, it was my mind trying to keep me away from a perceived danger. Even if I was actually safe it was still working to make sure I was safe. Unfortunately, that overly strong push to be sure I was safe came at a price.

I had a knot in the stomach, my heart pounded like it was going to explode, I couldn’t catch a good breath, I was dizzy etc.

Reactions like that can be a useful early warning sign that something does need attention.

We don’t have to know what at the start, just to be looking for the right solution.

When I go to the doctor when I’m feeling off it’s their job to help me find the answer. It’s the same with the mind. Have a chat with someone who has expertise in that field, and they should be able to point to the right type of help.

I specialise in reducing Anxiety (worry, stress, panic etc.) and Psychological Trauma (flashback, nightmares, triggered painful memories etc.) but I point people at excellent help for other issues all the time. From Stopping Smoking, to relationship help, to life coaching there are lots of great therapists out there.

I’m always happy to point people in the direction of good help.

Feel free to get in touch if a referral or recommendation would help. I frequently find help for people all across the globe. The last one was in the Caribbean 😊

Change is easier than you think.

Have a great week,

John

info@JohnPrendergast
085 1313700
www.JohnPrendergast.ie

John Prendergast MA, MBACP, is an award-winning specialist in Anxiety and Psychological Trauma. His area of interest is the fear system of the human mind and body, and his work centres around reducing suffering for individuals one-on-one and in groups. He lived decades of severe anxiety in his own life before finding help and then studied with some of the world’s leaders in reducing anxiety, resolving PTSD, and living happier lives. He sees clients in clinic in Athlone, Westmeath/Roscommon, Ireland, and around the world via Zoom. He also delivers training to businesses and through seminars across the UK and Ireland.

01/09/2025

Anxiety can have lots of different symptoms.

The worrying, racing thoughts, fears, obsessions and so on are all obvious signs that go with anxiety, but there are some big ones that hit a lot of life. These 10 are ones I see repeatedly when helping people overcome anxiety.

1 Poor Sleep

Lying awake with the mind racing, feeling the frustration build as sleep seems further and further away. Trying to stay up until exhausted in the hopes of dropping off, distracting on the phone or reading until the early hours, maybe dreading going to bed knowing what awaits.

The misery of anxiety keeping us awake is a huge factor. That constant tiredness which comes with it adds to how horrible everything feels when we are so exhausted.

For some people when they do get to sleep that’s not the end of it, waking during the night and being unable to fall back to sleep is a nasty aspect of anxiety. Some people wake in a sweat and with fear or panic, others just find they are awake and can’t settle again.

Other’s find that they can’t sleep until there is light coming into the sky at dawn and then even if the alarm is close to going, they suddenly can sleep – briefly.

Sleep cycles are nearly always hit by anxiety and related stress issues.

2 Stomach Issues

Bloating and diarrhoea are the obvious ones, but sometimes it can be slowing of gut function and constipation that occur.

The quick knot of pain in the stomach can be a different thing – just a simple stress response in many cases, but when it drags out and links in to trapped wind etc it’d probably part of this problem.

Too many people plan their day by where the toilets are. Knowing which streets have toilets available, avoiding busses, and so on.

Needing to go to the toilet before a meeting, class, presentation every time is a very familiar part of life for people where stress reactive Irritable Bowel Syndrome comes with anxiety. As is the embarrassment of trying to hide the fart or make excuses for why the bathroom is needed again or why the car must stop at a services again!

3 Rerunning the past

This is bedrock anxiety stuff. The mind is on alert, and the anxiety response says something is wrong. But it’s activating at the wrong time. No real danger is here, so the mind goes looking for where to put that feeling. Eventually it exhausts the day-to-day stuff as being OK and moves on to looking at memories that match the stress feeling.

Those things that make us cringe or still hurt are dredged up, and hey-presto the worry makes sense to the system now. We found something to put that energy into and the mind mistakes this as useful.

While trying to keep us on alert to possible danger the mind torments us with old and irrelevant stuff that in most cases no one else even remembers.

4 Playing out future conversations

That same system of fear on alert means everything is run through a filter of “something is wrong!” and life must be examined to find what is wrong.

In reality often it’s just the fear centres being switched on that is the problem. Yet again, when the system is running the feeling is real.

Now the rest of the mind must scramble to analyse things and find where that feeling belongs. Just as it can do so with the past, it can also make the future into a source of misery.

Imagining every word to be said and the reply to it in detail, playing it over and over again, and then in the end either the conversation never really happens or goes nothing like what we imagined.

A huge waste of time and energy, but it lets the mind use up that anxiety response and runs automatically unless we notice it and do something to divert it.

5 Avoiding trying

This destroys so many lives. While some people are driven to succeed by their anxiety, unable to sit still, so torn up by any failure that they drive on harder each time, the opposite is way more common. Success is great, but when we can’t relax, we eventually burn out.

Knowing exactly what to do and simply not doing it is huge with anxiety and more common than success.

Feeling we can’t succeed, there’s no point, I’ll mess it up anyhow are natural aspects of most anxiety.

For decades I held back from most of life. I was sure I was lazy, not good enough, that I’d fail regardless. The feeling was real, and it devoured my life.

Lazy doesn’t exist, feelings that stop us from acting are real but easy to dismiss as laziness. There is a feeling driving us or stopping us. Finding and resolving any unhelpful feeling is where success lies.

6 Avoiding people & social situations

Another massively common part of anxiety. Being all stressed before meeting people, knot in stomach, imagining how we’ll be judged, assuming we’ll do or say something stupid is just the fear system analysing he situation for danger.

When the fear system is running the feeling is real, even when the danger is not. One of the things that’s easy for the mind to latch onto as a possible danger when we are safe is other people and their judgement.

It’s possibly the most common thing for anxiety to hijack to put fear into. (Health is the other big contender).

Often if we make it in the door of the social thing it’s not as bad as the anticipation, but sometimes the anxiety can build to panic.

Sitting at home watching the social media posts from friends as they are out enjoying life as we hide at home is misery.

7 Expecting the worst outcome / On edge, always waiting for a problem

When that anxiety system is running everything is examined to find what will go wrong. As a side effect we always find lots of ways for a problem to occur before we see how something could succeed.

This is related to several symptoms already mentioned, but it has its own direct impact day to day. We take longer to make decisions, over thinking them, second guessing them, deciding and then going back on it again.

Things get kicked into the future and we can find ourselves always thinking of doing the big things, learn a language, go for the promotion, do that course etc., but the constant flood of feelings that we won’t succeed make us push things down the road time and time again.

We can be on edge constantly, always expecting a problem, even worrying about not worrying if we get any peace.

8 Irritability and nit-picking

When we’re on edge, analysing things for the bad and feeling stressed when things aren’t perfect, we can accidently reflect that outwards at the people around us.

The two main ways are being easily triggered to anger and only noticing the problems in what people do and pointing them out while ignoring the good.

Anger simply comes from areas of the brain that are more active when we’re stressed and anxious. It makes sense that anger is something we use when under attack for example – so it’s wired in around self-preservation in the brain.

The nit-picking is a disaster that also makes sense around anxiety. “Find the problem” is the role of anxiety. If we’re very anxious a lot of energy and focus goes into this. We don’t mean to miss the good, but the mind highlights anything that’s not good enough, a problem, less good – it all stands out and before we know it, we’re commenting on that part and not seeing the good.

This is natural with stress of any kind, and it can harm relationships so badly.

We don’t mean to be putting people or their efforts down but before we know it, we’ve pointed out the not perfect part.

Often, we’ll have experienced this as kids if an anxious parent couldn’t help but point out the negative. A feeling of no matter what we do we can’t win; can’t get it right, can be so damaging in life.

This early conditioning may even play a part in passing anxiety from one generation to the next.

9 Can’t sit still or relax

The idea that time off is torture will seem odd to many, but to the anxious it’s very relatable.

Rushing through the week to get to the weekend but then obsessing about the next week and not able to enjoy the days off is very common.

For example, the number of anxious teachers who dread the long summer and Christmas holidays is large.

Not being able to sit and watch a movie or read a book without getting antsy and distracted is a very usual part of anxiety.

If we were in real danger, it makes sense getting absorbed in something and ignoring the world around us would be a bad idea. The problem is that when we’re home and safe but that feeling is running then we can’t relax.

The mind is on high alert and that energy needs to get used up. We do something physical like tidy and clean, or we are on our phone while watching TV to use up that stress push.

Being unable to sit still and relax is hugely damaging to us over time and a real sign it’s time to address the anxiety or stress driving it.

10 People pleasing

When we expect to make mistakes, or blame ourselves needlessly, or worry about being judged it’s very easy to become a doormat.

Always saying yes, getting a reputation as being helpful and that getting taken advantage of can occur so easily.

We can hate volunteering but still end up on every committee and helping at every event and coming to resent it.

Being helpful is fine, being taken advantage of is not. Making a difference is great, but burning out from stress is not.

This can also keep us in abusive relationships etc. but that deserves a different post of its own I think.

If I was to add one as number 11 it would be how it hits our physical health, but that deserves an article of its own too, so I’ll write that one soon and post it.

Of course, there are sadly many other signs of anxiety, but these are among the more common I see in clinic every week.

My advice is look at the whole picture, it’s too easy to get dragged into thinking it’s one issue or one problem and then focussing on that so much we miss the whole. I was diagnosed with ME and Fibromyalgia among other things when the anxiety was missed as those symptoms stood out. Both disappeared when my anxiety was treated and went away. Had the whole been seen it would have been a much easier journey.

It's amazing how all of this can be running for years, and we just accept it. I never noticed the individual parts and realised what was happening until I was decades deep into anxiety.

Hope this helps understand some of what’s going on with anxiety and helps people spot it and act on it if needed.

Thanks for all the enquiries. Currently I’m pretty much booked out in clinic in Athlone and have only a handful of online spaces available. However, I’m always happy to speak with people about how life can improve and can probably find people who can help nearby. So don’t hold back, I know a lot of good therapists and am happy to signpost to people who can help.

Change is easier than you think.

Have a great week,

John

info@JohnPrendergast
085 1313700
www.JohnPrendergast.ie

John Prendergast MA, MBACP, is an award-winning specialist in Anxiety and Psychological Trauma. His area of interest is the fear system of the human mind and body, and his work centres around reducing suffering for individuals one-on-one and in groups. He lived decades of severe anxiety in his own life before finding help and then studied with some of the world’s leaders in reducing anxiety, resolving PTSD, and living happier lives. He sees clients in clinic in Athlone, Westmeath/Roscommon, Ireland, and around the world via Zoom. He also delivers training to businesses and through seminars across the UK and Ireland.

08/08/2025

How does anxiety work?

All the worry, over analysing things, fear, panic, jumpiness, and so on has a single function. The job of anxiety is to keep us on high-alert to any possible danger.

Fear keeps us safe. We’re not born with many fears, but we learn lots of them. Whenever we feel we might be in danger that activates our self-preservation system.

The fear reaction uses our body to ready us for a crisis. We get a knot in the stomach, or perhaps a tight chest. We might sweat, feel faint, or find we’re shaking. All these are responses that come from our fight/flight systems coming online.

Our thoughts race. Rapid thinking is good in a real crisis but makes concentration and good long-term decision making harder.

We also see all the problems, but few of the positives. This makes perfect sense if we’re being mugged for example. We need to instantly be able to notice all the dangers and calculate the responses to those risks in a moment.

In a real crisis it’s all useful.

The problem is that when we stay on alert past a useful time, then things get hard. What might be a useful but uncomfortable response to a real threat becomes anxiety when it doesn’t switch off.

When we’re on edge the whole time the mind examines everything to see if there is a danger.

That feels like everything is wrong. We pick up on tiny things and they become big things in our mind. We go back over trivial things people said or did and it can be like a compulsion – we can’t get it out of our mind.

As we lie there trying to sleep at night it seems louder and more insistent. All the distractions of the day are over, and we’re left with the system of worry running when we can notice it more easily. We toss and turn and go over and over things in our mind and sleep doesn’t come easy.

Anxiety is when that being-on-alert for something dangerous is simply continuing all the time. When it’s been ongoing for a while, we can get conditioned to it, and it can run and run all by itself until we do something to reduce the problem.
Anxiety makes us overreact to more things and thus creates stress. Because we worry about more things the brain signals our body to activate the self-preservation systems more often, and for longer. This creates physical and emotional stress in our brain and body.

Our self-preservation system is only interested in your short-term survival – will we be alive in ten minutes or an hour? It doesn't look at what is coming later. It doesn't care what we'll be doing next year, and it doesn't care if we feel happy.

It's a simple system designed to keep us alive. If we're being mugged or slipping on ice it's our best friend, but when it is switched on and kept on long term, it's a real problem.

We feel bad, our mind constantly spots chances to fail and sees only what could go wrong, our immune system drops leaving us open to get more colds and infections - and they might linger, we can become absent minded - forgetting what we came into the room for and so on.

In some cases, the mind can create larger reactions like panic attacks. That can be like a volcano. The pressure builds bit by bit over the years as the anxiety runs, then at some point it overwhelms our ability to manage it and erupts into panic. It might be extra stress, a traumatic event, or just that we’re worn down by the anxiety for too long.

The stress can pressure our physical health with damage to the cardiovascular system, amplify Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and cause fatigue.

The odd part is, it does all this to help keep us safe from an apparent threat or danger. The real issue is that our mind has wrongly identified which things are dangerous.

That's where we can change it big time.

We’re not born with many fears. We don’t even have a fear of fire until we learn it by burning ourselves. We can become conditioned to worry and anxiety, by the hurts and stresses we experience in life.

The good news is that the cycle of anxiety can be reduced and even eliminated for most people. Our bodies and minds grow accustomed to those responses and that is a reversible thing for most of us.

I went from decades of anxiety to where life is much easier and where the positives are present. I can enjoy life, succeed, no longer procrastinating, holding back, or worrying without reason all the time.

I’m not the only one. Here’s what happened for a former anxiety sufferer I worked with:

“A fantastic and life-changing experience, the difference in life feeling free from anxiety is indescribable. …After decades of anxiety I am now finally living instead of just getting through it.” - Fionnula

Our constant worry, fear, nit-picking, snappiness, negativity, holding-back, irritability, and anger can all come from anxiety, as can a lot more.

The feeling of being overwhelmed can devour our lives. Too often we try to deal with each part individually – such as trying to reduce anger for example, without realising that reducing our anxiety can make all the elements better.

I could have been treated for general anxiety, phobias, IBS, muscle pain, stress, anger, etc. But until I dealt with my underlying anxiety life stayed hard.

In fact, a well-known private hospital in Galway thought I had ME and Fibromyalgia but never saw the anxiety. Curiously when the anxiety went away the ME and Fibromyalgia-like symptoms vanished too.

These days life is utterly different. I have been able to put myself out there in the real world and enjoy my work. I’m enjoying being a father. I don’t hold back, I don’t worry needlessly, I’m enjoying life.

If I was to give one piece of advice to anyone still suffering anxiety, it would be: be gentle with yourself. Don’t blame yourself for feeling bad. Too often we beat ourselves up
for how the anxiety holds us back. Piling bad feeling on top of already feeling bad.

If someone avoids a social situation because of anxiety or panic, they then feel bad for not going. Essentially blaming themselves for having anxiety. Anxiety is real. There’s no need to feel bad for suffering anxiety. Recognise it if it’s present and work to reduce it, but don’t add blame for feeling that way.

Anxiety is the mind putting us on high alert and not switching off. Your brain is on your side. It’s working flat out to stay safe, but it’s using the wrong learnings in life to do that, and it’s forgotten how to switch off.

It’s not ‘Mad, Bad, or Sad’ it’s just a useful function switched on all the time, even when it’s not needed.

Hope this helps understand what’s going on with anxiety.

I got a lot of enquiries after recent posts. Currently I’m pretty much booked-out in clinic in Athlone and have only a handful of online spaces available but I’m always happy to speak with people about how life can improve and can probably find people who can help nearby. So don’t hold back, I know a lot of good therapists and am happy to signpost to people who can help.

Change is easier than you think.

Have a great week,

John

info@JohnPrendergast
085 1313700
www.JohnPrendergast.ie

John Prendergast MA, MBACP, is an award-winning specialist in Anxiety and Psychological Trauma. His area of interest is the fear system of the human mind and body, and his work centres around reducing suffering for individuals one-on-one and in groups. He lived decades of sever anxiety in his own life before finding help and then studied with some of the world’s leaders in reducing anxiety, resolving PTSD, and living happier lives. He sees clients in clinic in Athlone, Westmeath/Roscommon, Ireland, and around the world via Zoom. He also delivers training to businesses and through seminars across the UK and Ireland.

Address

Athlone Therapy Centre, Monksland Business Park
Athlone
CO.WESTMEATH

Opening Hours

Tuesday	2pm - 9pm
Wednesday	2pm - 5pm
Thursday	2pm - 9pm

Telephone

+353851313700

Website

http://johnprendergast.ie/

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As a trained Clinical Psychotherapist & EMDR Trauma Therapist, John Prendergast can offer expert and confidential help in a very wide variety of areas from worry and anxiety to overcoming long term emotional difficulties such ad PTSD. Clinic in Athlone Co Westmeath and available online. Nationwide Workplace and Corporate Stress Reduction Service