20/09/2025
On the threshold of this huge shift we are experiencing globally, I felt called to share with you the journey I just experienced during mediation.
I have been hugely disconnected from my spiritual self these last few months, my family was at the end of an event that has left a huge amount of physical, psychological and emotional damage. I shut down to try to cope, I have watched my children really struggle in a number of ways while being unable to do anything to really help them through bar being mum, all the while going through my own emotional turmoil and physical difficulties as a consequence. It's been tough on so many levels and I have felt lost and discombobulated… then along comes eclipse season... As if things weren't tumulous enough, this has been like being dumped inside a of rumbling, spitting volcano and told to survive… this eclipse season has beaten me up and spat me back out. But… it has cracked me open and tonight for the first time in a very long time I felt called to meditate.
Everyone has their methods, but my favourite is to have a hot salt bath, the room in darkness with a few candles, the window open with a gentle breeze and the rustle of the leaves on the trees. Some pan flute music or shamanic drumming playing in the background.
Tonight I needed the drumming… I needed the beat to connect with my life force, to get the energy moving, to shift everything that had become stuck, blocked or trapped. It felt very primal, a little bit like survival… this needs to be moved on or else…
I initially struggled to get myself into mode but once I did the journey was rapid…
Before me stood a beautiful big ancient tree, it's bark twisted and narrled, centuries of stories buried in its rings. Stood in a dark forest, twilight was calling and the ember sky just about offered a dusting of light from above the canopy. In the base of this giant tree was a hole, big enough for me to fit into… I felt drawn to step into it just like a doorway and the space opensed up before me… in front of me was a staircase, a rough hewn banister curved the wall and declined alongside the spiral steps.
Stepping onto the staircase I begin to descend, one foot in front of another and even though it is pitch black my eyes could just make out the steps as I curve around and around, spiralling further and further underground, my hand using the banister as a guide. I knew I just had to trust.
This is not an unusual start to my mediation journeys so I have learnt to just surrender and go with it.
Finally the stairwell opens out and an old wooden door appears before me, brass handles and studs glinting in the non-existent light. Even though I have a sicky feeling in my stomach I reach out to open the door and pull. Stepping though the doorway I'm faced with a scene that makes my stomach sink and my heart drop. The world is on fire… figuratively that is. What lies below me is a ravaged world, the sky burns a low orange, everything looks grey and burnt, rubble like… it's as if the world lost its colour and grey scale is now the code. People move around like robots, toppled buildings and wrecked cars… yet amongst the grey I see the occasional person that stands out like a light. They have a bright light surrounding them that stands out in stark contrast to the devastation of grey.
I look down at myself and see that I too am of the light… but I hear ‘you have a choice’. At that moment to my left a wooden staircase appears that climbs up the side of a huge sheer rocky cliff face, this staircase glows with this same light. I know I can either descend into disconnect and return to a world of numbness, functionality and unawareness or I can ascend the staircase.
The staircase begins 20 feet up… there is no obvious way to get to it, the cliff face slippy, crumbly and impossible to climb. I hear the words; ‘surrender & trust’ and know I just have to let go. Before I could comprehend it, I am at the bottom of the stairs and I begin to climb. I'm not sure what I had been wearing beforehand but my clothes morph into a creamy light flowing linen dress that swishs gently and easily around my body, and I keep on climbing.
As I reach the summit of the staircase I am blinded by bright sunshine… it looks a little bit like an imagined utopia. Fluffy clouds dance across a vibrant blue sky, healthy capacious trees fill an ever expansive landscape. Little cottages dot the land, pretty thatched roofs with stone chimneys releasing puff's of smoke into a gentle warm breeze. Animals wander freely, many I could not name and do not look in anyway familiar but hold an air of contentment and peace as they meander. Huge geodes of coloured crystals spill from the ground, glinting in the sunshine, flowers dance in all their colours. There's a back ground of noises, from birds chattering to distant sounds of songs being sung. This feels like a land of abundance.
I notice an individual beconning me forwards… I approach. He tells me this is the next stage of my quest and I will meet others as I travel who will gift me tools I may need along the way. He hands my a bow, handmade from a whippet branch of a native tree. A little confused, but remembering to trust, I take it with thanks and gratitude and notice a path has appeared before me.
I step onto the cobbled path and walk and walk, this land is beautiful, breathtaking and inspiring. Simple in so many ways but full of love, laughter, creativity and joy. As I walk I am gifted a bag of crystals in a pouch to tie at my waist, a quiver of arrows, a hand crafted sword with runes running down the blade, it's handle crafted in brass and copper, a dagger to place into my ankle strap with sparkling jewels burried into its hilt, hessian bags of various scented herbs and lastly some colourful potions in different shaped glass bottles. I hear the words ‘your tool kit’.
I reach the edge of this beautiful luscious land and before me stands a rickety rope bridge connecting to what appears to be a small floating island. I look around me, the bridge doesn't look safe and the island uninviting. But those that gifted me on my path, stand behind me to encourage me on. They tell me that this place is not for me and that it is time to take the next step.
I look onwards unconvinced, a grey mist surrounds the island leaving it largely invisible to the eye, against this vibrant and abundant land the island ahead looks uninviting and hostile. The bridge across looks perilous. I look back at those behind me as if they are crazy for trying to encourage me to step out into this unknown. But before I can turn back, they shove me… gaining my equilibrium, I am already a few steps onto the rope bridge and the land that I had been standing on moments before vanishes from sight. Freyed rope and rotten planks are what I'm left with and I am trusting they will get me to when I am supposed to be going.
As the land behind me vanished from sight, so does the anchor for the bridge and it starts to fall apart. My stomach bottoms out and I race to scramble as quickly as possible along the slats as they begin to disintegrate and pull at the rope as it disconnects and snaps. I feel myself start to fall, the chasm below dark and endless, a feeling of nothingness starts to wash over me.
And then, when it seems as if the darkness will swallow me, I am yanked abruptly upwards as if I have a harness on. I can't see what holds it but I am carried towards the island, a bright light shining down over me, a calm descending within me.
I am deposited on this tiny island and it takes me a moment to figure out what I am seeing. I spin in circles, trying to get my bearings and take in what surrounds me. Mirrors… hundreds and hundreds of mirrors. It looks like small mountains, and rough landscape but every surface is a mirror. I am at the centre of some sort of gorge, high walls of mirrors rise up around me on all sides, different sizes, hights, shapes and widths. As I move, I come to realise I can see myself in all of them… it doesn't matter which way I look or how I turn, I am forced to see myself looking back at me in every facet… from every angle. I drop to my knees. This is uncomfortable. I look down thinking that maybe I can somehow look away, only to discover the floor is also mirrored. I have no choice, I have to sit with myself. The good, the bad and the ugly. I sit though the discomfort of my reflection looking back at me and then start to really take myself in. Really look at myself. Truly see myself. This is not comfortable; it's emotional, it's embarrassing, it's vulnerable, it's enlightening. It's duality. It's being asked to accept all aspects and facets of myself. The ‘stuff’ that's been rejected and sides of myself that have been neglected, shamed and hidden away in shadow. The parts of myself I show to the world and the many parts that I don't.
As I look into my eyes I see younger versions of myself flit across my imagine in the mirrors and know they are all apart of who I have become today, without them there would be no today, no matter how much I may have loved or hated some of those versions. Behind me, a number of images starting to appear, opaque in nature. Women, men, children, young and old. Different cultures and nationalities. Different time periods and civilisations. I hear the words ‘my child’... And ‘we are all with you’. And come to the realisation that this is my ancestors. I am a culmination of all of their lives, their experiences, their traumas but also their strengths, their challenges and their joys, and that is something to be honoured and celebrated.
The mirrors cloud and mist, with a big rumble, those in front of me part… inside, is yet another staircase and I can feel the call to climb it.
This stair case is made of stone, it is slightly damp and equally as dark. While not steep, the large wide steps make it a task to climb.
I have no idea where I am being taken now but it feels like I am nearly there… light spills into the stair way and I am left blinking at it's brilliance.
I step out on to a plain of some sort…I can not really see much due to the blinding light but I have a sense of home. A sense of belonging. Tears flood my eyes and pour down my face, in real life as well as in this dimension. Emotions feel high and utterly overwhelming but in a beautiful way. It's all encompassing. I can feel family and loved ones around me but can not see them. I can feel a building or structure that speaks to me and internally I hear the word ‘home’ but I cannot see it. I see my animals pottering about, from all times and seasons in my life and I am flooded with feelings of contentment, fulfilment and peace. A voice booms from over head, it's almost unfathomable to the ear but within my heart I am given a message that I can hear, of which I will keep for myself.
And just like that… I am back. Back in the present. Back in the bath, steam fogging up the window, bubbles fizzing and meandering along the surface of the water, flames flickering their dance above the candles dotted around room.
We are in a huge transition window of change… whether aware or not, I think most people are feeling it in someway. This is the first journey I have done in while and it really spoke to me, and I was called to share it, especially with the energies that are at play at this time. We all have a choice point, and what we choose will have a huge impact on our futures, on the micro and macro, individually and globally. Choose authenticity, choose sovereignity, choose autonomy, choose love, choose kindness, choose intuition, choose curiosity, choose creativity, choose connection, choose wisely. Choose to see through the illusion and be open to all that lies beyond.
Amy 💛 😇
