Psychotherapist & Parenting Support, Ashdale House, Blarney, Cork (2025)

23/10/2023

A reminder that I no longer use fb. Join me for parenting tips on Instagram.

https://instagram.com/bethan.oriordan

01/08/2022

Looking for ways to be a calmer parent? Find your footing in the roller coaster ride of motherhood? Get your free 5 steps to calmer parenting here https://bethanoriordan.ck.page/5steps

I'm slowing down life and now only using IG to offer parenting support, come join us here https://www.instagram.com/bethan.oriordan/

If you're looking to book a call to explore your support options, use this link: https://tidycal.com/3zlwo6m/free-call-with-bethan

In summary....

🦩Slow done.

🦩Enjoy life.

🦩Be the person you'd like to be.

🦩Have the time to have the relationships you'd like to have. With yourself and others.

I look forwards to meeting you in person or online when the time is right and supporting you to become the best version of you.

26/07/2022

Children create their sense of how they feel about themselves based on how you feel about yourself.

Makes sense when you think about it as children are a combination of your genes, DNA and/or the environment in which you raise them.

We cannot fully accept others until we can fully accept ourselves - not a small task!

But also not an impossible one.

The good news is that this is something which comes the way of all parents so you are not alone in this process of accepting you so that you can accept all of them.

And because of the evolving and deepening nature of relationships this inward journeying isn't ever complete and doesn't need to be. What your child needs is for you to be prepared to go inwards alongside them at every turn.

Does this excite or overwhelm you? DM's open :)

19/07/2022

What do you do to reflect on what you bring to the parent/child dynamic?

No-one can reflect alone, or use their client work to reflect through. Infact, this is a dangerous projection of your inner world without a safe place to be curious about what's going on.

Last night in the Calm Parenting Club we had our monthly live catch up. I hold the therapeutic space and processing for people to share, reflect and heal.

If you don't do this as a parent then you are projecting your inner world into your chikdren and they are absorbing all of your anxieties.

Join us anytime in the Calm Parenting Club and immerse yourself in the carefully structured therapeutic community designed to help you heal and be the parent you'd like to be. DM me for the information.

18/07/2022

I don't like the word boundaries. It's much more helpful if we talk about how we let people know we want to be treated and how we treat others.

What intrudes on how you let people know how to treat you, or how you treat others, including your relationship with your children?

☀️Not having a clear idea of what you’d like to happen
☀️Being scared of the fallout when setting a boundary
☀️Being afraid of the long-term effects
☀️Harsh or weak boundaries as a child
☀️Not being okay in the grey areas of life

Remember that children learn how to be in the world by what you mirror to them and helping them learn how to express their needs is an essential part of this.

Which boundary would you like to improve?

Dm's open if you'd like to chat more in there.

15/07/2022

Imagine you could ask the questions you need to help you help your child.

No judgement.

No blame.

Only cheering you on again and again.

Because we know in the Calm Parenting Club how hard relationships really are. And how hard being a parent is.

Thank you to Louise Worrall for last nights powerful q and a with the members. Your wisdom and knowledge was such a privilege to be part of.

All workshops are recorded and stored for you to view whenever you need.

Its very special when we let someone into our community as its a special and safe place of trust.

And everyone's welcome to be part of our community and be the change your children need 💜 start your free 7 day trial today

https://bethanoriordan.kartra.com/page/calmparentingclub

01/07/2022

And that commitment was to myself! So I am taking regular breaks throughout the year so I am taking a break from here for a week of self care, gardening, hanging with the kids (while I am still acceptable to hang with!), eating the best food that has to offer (which is a never ending supply!) and taking time for me.

You can still book your 1 to 1 psychotherapy, counselling or parent support sessions on my website www.bethanoriordan.com.

I look forwards to meeting you when I am back.🙂

30/06/2022

Other parenting communities don't have my psychotherapeutic experience to help parents to heal their past and solve practical parenting problems.

My work is about helping parents to change their parenting default mode and be the parent they want to be.

Parenting isn't about children, it's about parents and how they interpret their u whittingly inherited parenting default mode.

In the Calm Parenting Club this evening we've our community catch up where I gold therapeutic space for parents to talk, heal and be supported.

Join us 😊

28/06/2022

💫💫💫 BIG NEWS 💫💫💫

I've been doing some mulling over my life the past few weeks and come to some decisions that feel good 😎

Firstly, I am not going to be running parenting courses in the near future. Why? Because as a psychotherapist my work is about supporting people to create relationships with themselves and others and this doesn't happen in a 6 week programme.

I loved my programmes that I have run, but I have to listen to my experience as a therapist and it's the consistent support and honesty which helps people to transform into the parents they'd like to be.

This is a process of working through your parenting default mode, understanding your triggers and inner child work. And these parts of all of us only come up when you're in the situation that brings them about.

And this is where the Calm Parenting Club steps into its own and supports the transformation parents are looking for. It has the information of my courses and the therapeutic support to create and sustain change. Its my online parenting membership which takes place on an app away from the distractions of social media.

A place dedicated to your therapeutic development.

I'm also closing me free Calm & Confident Parenting community for at least the summer, maybe longer. I want to spend tike with my family and I am genuinely unsure if creating free tips and information is helpful.

If people are looking for change, they've to commit. The Calm Parenting Club is only €35 a month so an affordable way to take that courageous step towards being the solution.

No child is the problem. No parent is the problem. But every parent is the solution.

And I can't wait to support you to be the change your children need. It's the most rewarding action you'll ever take.

Parenting isn't about children, it's about parents and how they respond to their children's needs. And this can only happen if you know yourself first.

See you in the Calm Parenting Club, you can start your free 7 day trial today 😊

27/06/2022

⭐️⭐️⭐️ Giveaway time! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

To celebrate the Calm Parenting Club now moving to it's own app away from social media, I am delighted to announce that I've a copy of the Adventure Challenge Family Edition to giveaway. It's the original scratch-off book with 50 adventures to keep you busy over the summer and make lasting memories.

All you've to do is to share this post! Good luck!

You can start your free 7 Day trial of the Calm Parenting Club here and become the parent you'd like to be ☺️
https://bethanoriordan.kartra.com/page/calmparentingclub

Our kids grow up too fast! Let's create fun, lasting memories that bond us together with them. The goal of The Family Edition is connection through new experiences.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

21/06/2022

Would you like to reset unrealistic expectations?

The word expectations is so layered, isn’t it? There are so many expectations for parents and children, which come from everywhere and everyone, including society, religion, family, friends and, of course, ourselves.

Modern life has many benefits, but I often think our ability to have too much information is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, a parent can be confused about what to do in a particular situation and read, research online or ask peers for their advice. However, too much information causes us to move away from what feels right and get stuck in the logic of others.

Within this logic loop, the expectations would try to run the show, and parents get pulled away from their sense of what feels right. And because every child and family is different, it’s helpful to tune into your own set of values, which then formulate your expectations.

Something I ask parents to do is to write a list of the traits in their household. What are the things that you and your children thrive at doing? We want to work out who you all are and what makes you all unique. Take a column for each person. Then do the same for the things with which you each struggle. Think about the times you all get overwhelmed; is it technology use, listening, or following instructions?

For me, it’s tidying. I am terrible at tidying. I am excellent at planning, cooking, and the emotional stuff with myself and the children but tidying is a big headache. So I’ve got a plan that supports me, stops me from getting overcome and helps me be the parent I’d like to be.

Once you know this information, you can create realistic expectations based on your children’s and your strengths. You can tune into each child’s needs and be flexible without being upset.

Of course, this takes enormous energy and effort. It seems that you know that your expectations don’t fit your family, so perhaps you are parenting from your inner default mode rather than being the parent you’d like to be.

I know myself, and from supporting other parents, this is a kind of limbo. Yet it’s also an exciting opportunity for your family to create change and reset your values and expectations to work for you all. You’ve also given another great clue in your question to help you move towards being the parent you’d like to be. Feeling adrift can be quite a child-like sensation, so when these situations happen, likely, you’re not parenting from your adult self. In those moments of feeling lost or frustrated, you may have gone into your inner child. We all carry this part of us, and the inner child emerges when our unmet needs rise to the surface.

The transformative power of therapy supports people to respond to life from their wise adult self, who makes choices rather than reacts. Transformation is your inner child healing, allowing us to respond from the scar, not the wound. 🥰

10/06/2022

Parenting is overwhelming and with so much information available finding the right answers for you and your family can be difficult.

Something I am most proud of in the Calm Parenting Club is how the information and support helps parents gain clarity over who they are and how they'd like to parent.

The therapeutic and healing community supports parents to be the change their children need so that life is balanced. It's a safe and supportive community to share any emotional overwhelm and keep moving forwards with ease.

Start your free 7 day trial now using the link in the bio and become the person and parent you'd like to be.

08/06/2022

Would you like to be a calmer parent?

Create healthy relationships with your children and yourself?

Then get your free 5 Steps to Calmer Parenting and be the parent you'd like to be ☺️

https://bethanoriordan.kartra.com/page/5stepstocalmerparenting

30/05/2022

Good morning. I hope you enjoyed the sunshine over the weekend ☀️ .

This weeks Ask Bethan answers a parents question about feeling like a terrible mother. We talk lots in the Calm Parenting Club about blameless Parenting while also taking responsibility for what's hard. A delicate balance that is possible to manage 😊.

I am sorry that this is your experience of being a Mum. I’d love to know more about why you think this. You might be able to understand this better yourself by asking yourself these questions.

Who are you comparing yourself to?
Is it the practical elements of family life or the emotional development of your child that concerns you?
What is it about your behaviour and or thoughts that lets you know that you are terrible?
I know that answering these won’t feel great, but in order to shift what doesn’t feel good, we have to understand it.

My guess is that there’s a whole narrative in your mind about you not being good enough. Unfortunately we are dealt with a predisposition to parenting in a certain way based on our unwittingly inherited parenting default mode and perhaps this doesn’t fit with who you’d like to be.

Perhaps there are parts of your parenting that would be more helpful if they changed. But I want you to know this; if you are being the parent you don’t want to be, it’s because you are overwhelmed. If a friend called you and shared the same experiences with you as you are having, what would you say to them? I can imagine you’d be kind, supportive, gentle and offer practical support.

If so, this is what you need to create for yourself. I know that our brains aren’t wired to tell us nice things when we are sinking. But this is what you need.

Is there a friend you can turn to? Can you pay someone to mind the kids and get a break? Can you seek the emotional and practical support to create the changes you’d like to establish within your life?

There is no greater initiation in life than that of motherhood. Those little people in front of you mirroring back to you all the parts of yourself that you find the hardest. I want you to know that you are not alone and every parent feels and experiences this. But remember that your child doesn’t need you to be perfect, just connected to what’s going on for you and able to share delight with your child in their life.

To get support with this, or any other parenting difficulties you are facing, book your introductory call with me by sending a DM and we can book it in for a time that suits.

27/05/2022

It can take a while to find the right person and group to support any of us with what we need.

The Calm Parenting Club is a therapeutic and healing community of like minded parents which also provides practical parenting support. It's different from other communities as it is carefully held by myself and my therapeutic experience supporting people through change.

What does this mean?

It means the community doesn't follow fads or trends in the wellbeing space. There's no formulae - we work with what comes. I suggest topics each week but the group is free to explore whatever they wish. This might mean that I organise extra lives where we talk things through where we need to as there's the flexibility to support in this bespoke way.

The Calm Parenting Club is a genuine group of mutual support, honesty and respect for other parents experiencing similar experiences and wanting the best for themselves.

And I am so pleased that Sarah experienced this too.

23/05/2022

This weeks Ask Bethan answers a parents question about helping their child who is self-harming. I'm seeing an increase in self-harm and suicidal thoughts in my practice so I hope this helps those who need to read it.

I know from meeting parents that having a child who is self-harming or suicidal is the most frightening part of parenting any parent will ever face. I want readers to know that change is possible for you, the child and your relationship.

No parent can ever say that their child won’t self-harm or suffer with suicidal thoughts as we are all predispositioned to dark thoughts in our minds. It is essential that you and your child get help.

Self-harm takes many forms, some more obvious and some more hidden. I’d like to start by exploring this so that all parents know what behaviours to keep an eye out for. Self-harm can be (but not limited to) over or under eating, cutting, picking, hair pulling, scratching or banging body parts.

Here’s some practical advice first: make sure your child has clean equipment that they are harming with. Reduce the chance of infection where you can.

Now let’s move on to the emotional advice. Your child and you both need separate therapy and your child may need to attend their GP. Parents need to be guided step-by-step in how to support their child by understanding what to say, what to do and how to help. I am a former therapist at Pieta House,the family therapy support was as essential as the child’s therapy.

Your child needs to learn how to feel emotions so that they are safe, and parents need to learn how to make their emotions safe. Don’t ask your child not to harm, this may make the behaviour go underground. If a child has reached the stage in their lives that they are harming it could suggest that they have moved past the point of talking with their parents; but it is possible to repair this relationship breakdown.

The most important thing a parent can do is take a step back from their family unit and observe what stress the child is absorbing. Is there something within the family, school or friendship dynamic that your child cannot tolerate? Your child may not have words for this so be their detective.

From my experience supporting parents, this is the hardest thing to do. If parents could see the relationship difficulties a child was experiencing then they would be resolved. This is why I urge parents to seek outside support for honest and constructive help in moving yourself and your child through this difficult time.

Within the home your child needs compassionate boundaries. Rules that are not authoritative but ones that support your child and keep them safe. Do not punish your child for self-harming. I’ve met many parents who remove their child’s phone from them when they self-harm. Guides can be put in place to help your child manage their phone use as it certainly does have an impact on their mental health, but cutting your child off from their peers may not be the answer

Remember that this is your child’s cry for help. They are telling you in no uncertain terms that they are not okay. For healing to take place it’s not only the child’s responsibility to change. When parents change how they support their child an emotional container is created so that self-harm isn't the safe place for the child, instead you are

If you are reading this and your children are young and perhaps pickers or nail biters, try to create dialogue around it using empathy. Don’t be blunt and ask why you are picking, take the shame away from it by noticing it “oh, you’ve a cut there,” let me have a look (gently hold around the area), then help “oh, I’ve some cream that we can put on”. And soothe the feelings you see in the picking or cutting with acceptance from yourself.
Teenage self harming is often a response to early childhood experiences. When a parent develops their skills for seeing and validating their children when they are young, it helps so much in the relationship when they are older.

I remember as a young child biting my nails and being punished with horrible tasting polish. What I needed was someone to see my life and the stress I was unable to absorb and take it away. You have that opportunity as a parent to be the detective, take the responsibility of managing that stress and helping your child move through this time in their life.

To get support with this, or any other parenting difficulty you are facing, book your introductory call by sending me a DM and we can explore what's going on and how to create change.

20/05/2022

Today is the last day to invest in the wellbeing of yourself and your family at this one day Compassionate Parenting Workshop.

The day is a careful curation of my 15 years experience supporting people through change and sharing the information and skills parents need to know to set up the foundations of their child's mental health.

The day is about creating relationship that sustain the ups and downs of life, parenting with ease and confidence while focusing on parental wellbeing.

DM's are open if you've questions.

I look forwards to meeting you soon.

Psychotherapist & Parenting Support