Family Constellations Ireland

17/09/2025

"There was never anything wrong with me!".

We walked 17 kilometres yesterday. We rose to Monte Calvino at 1254 metres and then down to Pieve Santo Stefano at 431 metres.

On the way I was thinking about mental health - and indeed about su***de. Our mental struggles are part of being human. So if someone is severely depressed, or schizophrenic, or bipolar - or even suicidal - it might be worth wondering what happened.

That's what we do using Family Constellations. We support people to look at what has happened to them or in their family story that was difficult. Time and time again we find that really difficult things did happen.

Of course people shut down, or split off, or dissociated in some way. Of course they struggled! If children were abused, if babies died, if girls were sent to Magdalene laundries, if there was severe poverty or war, if someone was violent - the list could go on and on!

The problem, very often, is that people who present with personal mental health difficulties are treated as if there was something wrong with THEM! They are the patients.

Time and time again we find that one of the most healing sentences in all of our work is: "There was never anything wrong with me".

People realise that they are carrying pain that often does not belong to them. They are offered an experience that helps them see themselves and the world differently.

The truth is that all of us carry burdens linked to our family. It may be good for us to finally leave them down!

13/09/2025

We have just finished the fourth day on The Way of St. Francis. Walking between 15 and 20 kilometres every day and ascending and descending through hundreds of metres!
It does help clear the head.
Walking in the hills helps us stay close to nature and to simple things. It is very "ordinary" and deeply human. It can also be very deeply spiritual. When we are deeply human we are in touch with different - and sometimes more important - aspects of our humanity.
People often report that Family Constellation Work is very "ordinary". It also touches on very important parts of our humanity. When we are deeply human we are deeply spiritual.
Our work around su***de, too, is in the same realm. We accompany individuals and families as they look at very "ordinary" family stories. People support one another in exploring deep truths about being human.
When someone takes their own life we are not in the realm of the sciences. We are led to experience the deeper parts of human nature. We need to listen, to be with and to explore deeper truths. We need to be open to new insights.
All the major research on su***de says that we need to "understand" more than explain.
In every family story it is good to think about what happened that was difficult.
Where is the pain? Where is the trauma? What is it that is being faithfully carried from one generation to the next? What is it that I may be carrying out of deep love for my family?
Of course not all trauma is transgenerational. It is still a good place to begin.
There is always a bigger picture!

12/09/2025

"Oh the Grand Old Duke of York
He had 10,000 men
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.
And when they were up they were up
And when they were down they were down.
And when they were only half way up
They were neither up nor down!

A Nursery Rhyme from childhood.

Yesterday on The Way of St Francis we walked another 17 Kms. We started at 1100 metres and walked up and down all day. We ended at 550 metres.

I remember lots of things from childhood as I walk.
St. Francis was the Saint of the poor. He served time in prison. He loved nature. He loved the animals and the birds. He was different. He was humble. He lived in the ordinary world.

Sometimes we have to remain steady in an uncertain World. Most of us live in the world of ordinary, everyday things.

10/09/2025

Wonderful article in today's Irish Examiner, where Mary and Nuala share the ways in which Family Constellation work helped them come to terms with the loss of a family member to su***de.

On World Su***de Prevention Day, we are grateful to all those who have shared their stories with us, and who continue to do so, in the hope that the next generation can be free.

Challenging the secrecy around su***de is a huge part of the healing journey for many families, and evidence is growing that acknowledging the truth about what happened can have profound intergenerational impacts.

From hidden family secrets to intergenerational trauma, Irish families share painful stories of su***de — and how healing begins with truth

09/08/2025

Remembering those I know who died by su***de.
Cosán na Naomh - The Path of the Saints - Mount Brandon, Ireland.
For twenty years now I walk Cosán na Naomh where I remember especially all of the young people with whom I worked who went on to take their own lives.
Yesterday I remembered, too, the families touched by su***de with whom we have worked using Family Constellations over the last 15 years.
The picture - taken yesterday - reminds me of one of our greatest learnings from all of our work:
There is always a bigger picture!

All things come together in the end!

29/07/2025

Understanding Su***de - Go to the Families!
Transgenerational Trauma - Can we be free?
https://www.buythebook.ie/product/understanding-su***de-a-new-lens/

26/07/2025

Regarding Gaza - Did we stand idly by? If we did - Shame on all of us! The children and grandchildren deserve better!

20/07/2025

16/07/2025

Understanding Su***de - Can we really be open to new insight?
https://www.buythebook.ie/product/understanding-su***de-a-new-lens/