23/07/2025
Do you remember the episode of "Friends" when Chandler and Monica announce their pregnancy and Chandler says " we get to have kids and mess them up in our own way!"
I often think of this. I look at my children and wonder what they will think of their childhood when they grow up? We are doing our best but we are all trying to parent in a deeply imperfect world.
While the expectations of parents have soared in recent years so too have the demands. Raising children makes us pause and reflect on our own childhood. The awareness that comes with it can be deeply powerful. Admittedly not everyone has childhood trauma in the clinical sense but I do believe absolutely everyone has emotional wounding just from life itself.
It's a hard juggle, the intensity, the school holidays, the cost of living, navigating childcare and accessing supports or lack there of, work, life, bills, activities, educational support, screen time, camps, playdates. Not to mind children with additional medical, psychological, emotional needs where access to services are non existent.
I'm reminding myself it's perfectly fine to be imperfect! In fact non perfection is much healthier. Overly responsive parenting is shown through research to interfere with a child's ability to cope with reality. We are all imperfect and isnt that absolutely wonderful to admit. So exhale đ.
You don't have to fix everything for your child. Leave them bored, leave them experience disappointment and challenges without taking over, it helps to build resilience.
Really when it comes down to it you just have to be their safe landing space, allow them to express themselves without fear and validate their feelings and apologise when you are wrong, because we all get it wrong!
And that my friends is ok too!
