Valerie O' Neill Counsellor and Psychotherapist

20/02/2023

06/12/2022

Experiences during childhood shape us into the adults we become - at every level. The relationships we have with our parents are the single most significant influence we have growing up. Feeling loved, supported, seen for who we truly are as a child has a bearing on our wellbeing as adults. An open, receptive, even-keeled parent is a tremendous gift - whose legacy stays with us right throughout our lives. A parent’s contact which is characterised by fear, chaos, pressure, abuse or neglect creates an emotional unsteadiness and a very different nervous system. The brain becomes hyper vigilant to danger: the heart pumps, breath becomes shallow, fight/flight/freeze is activated. Physical pain in childhood is registered in a part of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex. This exact area of the brain also becomes activated with emotional pain, for example, when a parent’s behaviour confuses or distresses us. The pain of social disconnection is also mediated in this same area of the brain. So, physical, emotional and social worlds have a deep interconnection and are always influencing one another. When stress and trauma are part of a child’s daily family life, because of being reared by emotionally immature parents, the fallout is physical, emotional and social. The child’s body is saturated with stress chemicals cortisol and adrenaline and eventually the system moves into inflammation mode. Lots of adults who endured trauma as kids develop a host of physical ailments e.g. rheumatoid arthritis, allergies, cardiovascular disease, lung disease, cancer. Common emotional pain experiences related to childhood trauma include depression, anxiety, PTSD. Social pain includes isolation, loneliness, feeling that you’re on the edge of the world looking at everyone else living their lives, comparing yourself to others and always finding yourself lacking. Resolving your trauma will improve your experience at body, emotional and social levels. Step 1 is to diminish your stress levels. Best things for this? GET ON YOUR YOGA MAT EVERY DAY. EVERY DAY. 🧘‍♀️🧘🧘‍♂️SING 👩‍🎤🧑‍🎤🎤🎼DANCE 💃🕺And find someone SAFE to process your early childhood experience with. 🥰🥰🥰

14/11/2021

07/11/2021

Too right 🥰

15/10/2020

Dr Temple Grandin is now speaking live about her own experience.

We hope you are enjoying today's conference.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

15/10/2020

We have a tendency to translate pain and insufficient support as a statement of our inadequacy. We move from “this is not good enough” or “this is bad” to “I’m not good enough” or “I am bad”. Truth is we’re lovely, we’re all doing the best we can and we are all just walking each other home 😊

06/10/2020

16/09/2020

The su***de prevention charity have been inundated with calls since the start of the pandemic