Acorn Family Therapy

04/07/2018

As a family therapist, I am always advocating spending time with family, and increasing family connection/cohesiveness, and the importance of work life balance. My sentiments on this were recently echoed by veteran broadcaster Gay Byrne - link below. Nice to see he is looking so well!

RTE's top current affairs presenter Sean O'Rourke has confirmed that he will be taking the rest of the summer off to

03/05/2018

The power of gratitude ....!

“When you are grateful,' Brother Steindl-Rast explained, 'you are not fearful, and when you are not fearful, you are not violent. When you are grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not out of a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you are grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people and respectful to all people. The grateful world is a world of joyful people. Grateful people are joyful people. A grateful world is a happy world.”
― Douglas Carlton Abrams, The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

17/04/2018

The Book of Joy by Archbishop Emeritus, Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama. A book of extraordinary friendship and wisdom about life and living. A powerful read, a world of inspiration!

The Book of Joy

17/04/2018

Teenagers and exam stress. The Leaving Cert isn't the 'be all and end all' - there are other options.

17/04/2018

Children, Stress and Exams

For many children, examinations are a nightmare. Children fear that they will disappoint their parents and be disappointed in themselves if they do badly in exams. They often feel that it’s ‘all or nothing,’ that if they don’t get the results they want, they will never get the course/career they want. It is very difficult for teenagers to contemplate that there are often alternative paths to the career they want. The Leaving Cert is not the ‘be all and end all’ - there are other options. However, faced with exam pressures, ,high levels of stress have become increasingly common among teenagers undertaking State exams. Sometimes, such stress can lead to symptoms of anxiety or depression. However, there are some things which parents can do to help children not only survive, but maybe even thrive, during their exams:

Don’t add to your child’s stress. Children have less experience in dealing with stressful situations, and State exams are their first encounter with exam pressures. They may not be familiar with how to manage stress or how to express their feelings of stress adequately. Therefore, as a parent, it is important that you are able to tell if your child is under too much pressure. Is your child acting differently to how they usually are? Are they normally fairly easy going, but now can’t seem to relax? If you notice significant changes in your child’s behaviour, have a chat with them, ask them how you can help - this will make your child feel understood and supported.

Realistic Expectations. As a parent, it is important that while we want our children to do their best, that we also have realistic expectations of our children, and avoid becoming another source of pressure for them. It is important to encourage and reassure our children, and, in particular, to avoid critical comments, and avoid placing too many demands on your child during stressful periods. Let your child know that it is normal to feel nervous, and teach them to remain composed and focused during stressful times. Ensure that your child knows that you love and support them unconditionally, no matter what their exam results may be.

Encourage your child to take regular breaks. Encourage your child to take regular breaks whilst studying for exams and during exams. Most parents restrict their children from watching television, using their phones, playing video games or hanging out with friends, whenever exams are approaching. However, externally imposed rules and restrictions can create additional pressures. A child’s still needs ‘down time’ to de-stress and recharge, and social interaction can provide this during stressful times. For teenagers now, ‘down time’ is often catching up with friends on social media - so severely limiting social media may be counterproductive, just as can studying for long periods without a break. As a parent, it can be very helpful to work with your child to help them create both a study and recreation schedule, that they feel would work for them. Give your children the freedom to choose their own hours to revise and study. It will be hard for your child to stick to a routine that does not feel natural or comfortable for them.

Sleeping and Eating. Children often want to study late and for longer hours (cramming) which eats into sleeping time. It is very important that children have a sufficient amount of sleep, so they can function normally. Proper levels of sleep aid the memory process, and ensure that your child can focus adequately to retain information. Also, try to ensure and encourage your child to eat properly during exam times. Often exam pressures mean that a child eats snack foods, and misses out on a nutritious and balanced diet. Good, nutritious food, can boost alertness and energy.

Parents - remain calm! As a parent of a child doing exams, you may need to engage in more self-care, to manage your own stress levels associated with your children’s exams, for example, by going for a walk, playing a sport, talking with friends, can all help to release nervous tension, and provide a distraction from a stressful situation. Children really do easily sense stress in their parents, and do not need this extra burden during exam times.

12/04/2018

05/04/2018

What is dignity - Global Dignity Movement?
WHAT IS DIGNITY

Dignity is a feeling in your core.
A belief in your own worth.
A belief in the worth of others.
With dignity, we lead lives of hope and optimism and compassion,
Guided by a universal ethical compass.

Dignity is the belief that our basic humanity
Is shared with every other person on this planet.

OUR CALL TO ACTION

A life of dignity means you are as valuable and important,
worthy and wanted, as any other human being.
It means, fundamentally, that you matter.

And when you believe you matter, then you know
That your voice matters,
Your relationships matter,
And your actions matter.

You have the confidence to act.

You know you will make a positive impact,
That you will work with others
To transform your community,- and the world,
Into one where understanding, compassion and love triumph.
You become a changemaker,
Or what we call a dignity-centered leader.

31/03/2018

Viktor Frank wrote Man's Search for Meaning. A book I read in my early 20s. His story made a lasting impression on me.

31/03/2018

Hi! Mairead,Glad you are 'getting there.' Thank you for sharing your journey after bereavement with us. Such a heartfelt story! It will be a source of comfort for others on their unique journey of bereavement.

There is no guide to tell you how to cope with life after loss, writes Mairead Doyle.

30/03/2018

Social Anxiety and Your Child

Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. Social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being negatively judged and evaluated by other people. It is a pervasive disorder and causes anxiety and fear in almost all areas of a person's life.

The symptoms of social phobia include feeling very self-conscious in social situations, with symptoms like extreme shyness, stomachache, fast heart rate, dizziness, and crying, and having a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others.

The child with social anxiety will worry excessively about situations involving other people. In school, many children hate giving oral presentations. They might get butterflies the morning of the presentation, have clammy hands, or wake up the night before worrying about it, but a child with social anxiety disorder will spend many nights awake worrying about the presentation, and may then refuse to do it, and become physically ill with stress.

Children with social anxiety often avoid eye contact. This is a sign that the social interaction is very uncomfortable for the child. A child with social anxiety will have lots of reasons why they shouldn’t introduce themselves to someone new. A typically shy child might be quiet in groups until someone familiar draws them out of their shell, however, a socially anxious child will make themselves miserable worrying that they will embarrass themselves, or in being so nervous fear that they have made people notice their trembling or sweating. .

Social anxiety may also co-exist with severe separation anxiety, and lead to school avoidance. Missing lots of school is an early sign of social anxiety disorder. The more school is missed, the more difficulty the child may have returning, and this then becomes a cycle for the child.

Treating social anxiety disorder can involve two methods, or probably a combination of the two. One is therapy, most likely cognitive/behavioral therapy. Your child will learn what triggers the anxiety, learn to replace negative irrational thoughts with normal positive ones, and develop skills to handle stressors and negotiate social situations.The other treatment option is medication, usually an SSRI, combined with therapy.

It’s important to seek help for a child struggling with social anxiety. Untreated, the condition becomes chronic and frequently leads to other problems like depression, or substance abuse. A child with social anxiety disorder may use alcohol/drugs to cope in social situations as they get older. Social anxiety traps people into a life without much interaction with the world. Left untreated, social anxiety disorder will not disappear, but will follow the child into adulthood.

26/03/2018

Just a thought on Monday ....

20/03/2018

International Happiness Day, 20th March