03/02/2020
This is really sad. Please read and help spread awareness.
We can help with treating all these symptons naturally and effectively with acupuncture.
Please get in touch if you or anyone you know suffers from anxiety or have suicidal thoughts. Tel. 085 245 7790.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=120820129450030&id=107370804128296
***********************************************
This post contains content relating to su***de which some readers may find distressing
****
My name is Stephen O’Neill; I was a singer and musician, lived a healthy lifestyle, never had touched a drop of drink in my life, smoked or took drugs. I was in to fitness, ran marathons and loved to raise money for local charities. I lived for my family. I had no money worries, I was comfortable in life.
However in 2016 I was having trouble sleeping and switching off at night, I decided to go to the doctors and on 16th June 2016 I was prescribed 50mg of Sertraline for “mild anxiety” and “sleep disturbance”.
My brother in law picked me up from the doctors that day and we went on a few deliveries. I told him I had just been prescribed anti-depressants and that I had been having trouble sleeping. We had a good chat and then I went to pick up the tablets. I told the pharmacist that I didn’t want to go down the medication route, I had responded well before to CBT after the death of my parents but there was a wait list for the talk therapy so I thought I’ll try what the doctor prescribed. I was feeling my usual upbeat self, what harm could they do?
In the early hours of 18th June, after taking the tablets for just 24hours, everything changed. I experienced the scariest night of my life. My heart was racing; I felt feelings of agitation so strong that I could not sit still. Thoughts were running through my head a million miles a second, my mind was in over drive with scary thoughts I had never had before. I don’t know why, but I put a belt around my neck. At about 2am I ran a cold shower to try snap out of this feeling, it didn’t work. I went for a walk at about 3am to try and get rid of the restless feeling in my legs and clear my head, it didn’t work. I came back home and took the Sacred Heart picture off the wall and held it, praying for the sun to come up.
As soon as morning came I went to my sister’s next door and told her I needed to see the doctor ASAP. She didn’t understand what was happening but as it was a Saturday said I should go see the pharmacist. Without even getting freshened up, I went down the town. I know the pharmacist was shocked at the change in my appearance. I told her it was the tablets; they had done something to my head. She rang the out of hours doctors and they told me to stop the tablets immediately and gave me diazepam.
I went home but still couldn’t shake the feeling. I rang my other sister and she picked me up. I told her everything; I was having dark thoughts that were never there before the tablets. We rang the out of hours doctors again and they sent out a crisis team. I told the crisis team the same thing I had told my sisters and the pharmacist, the tablets had done something to my head.
I was so scared and desperately wanted to get better so I voluntarily went into a local psychiatric unit. I told anyone who would listen that there was something wrong with the medication, I felt like it was poisoning me. They noted that I wasn’t clinically depressed and that I had an adverse reaction to Sertraline but they didn’t really seem to take on board what I was telling them.
Over the next six weeks, instead of just taking me off medication, the doctors kept prescribing me tablets. In that short space of time I admitted myself to the unit twice more and I was given Quetiapine (antipsychotic drug) and Mirtazapine (serotonergic drug), Buspirone (anti-anxiety) as well as other drugs such as Diazepam, Propranolol and Zopiclone. A cocktail of drugs, each one just seeming to exacerbate the symptoms.
The feelings were unbearable, I had to phone and cancel all my music bookings. All I wanted to do was walk. I must have walked for miles trying to shake the feelings of restlessness and agitation. If i couldn’t go for a walk I would just pace round and round the house. I just couldn’t settle. All my thoughts were multiplied by 1000. I couldn’t sleep, I felt so nauseated I would even retch but nothing was coming up because I couldn’t eat. I had no appetite. I lost about a stone and half in weight. My hands were shakey and my legs were twitchy. Sometimes I felt like I had mice crawling up my legs and that the hair was standing on my head, tingling. Everything seemed louder too; a slight bang would have me jumping. I had this overwhelming feeling of fear. I was twitchy, jittery, tearful, exhausted.
But I was determined to fight this feeling; I was determined to get better. Because the doctors kept telling me that it couldn’t be the tablets I began to think of what else could be causing this. I had lost the sight in my eye when I was younger after an accident so I even went for an eye test incase something would show up behind the eye and I was also looking into booking private for a brain scan. I even tried a spiritual healer in my desperation. I just didn’t know what was happening to me. They just kept telling me and my family I would not act on my thoughts, that my physical body would not be harmed.
We called the crisis team again on 27th July as I collapsed in front of my sister. She even told them I had woke up in the hallway with a rope around my neck; I had snapped out of trance and didn’t know how I got there. I was scared. But I was told not to come down to the unit; I was told again it would take a few more weeks for the tablets to work.
But it was too late, on 29th July 2016 I was dead, six weeks after I first took medication; I was found by brother, in the backyard.
**************************************************** Stephen dedicated his life to helping others. He will continue to help others through his story. We are not anti-medication, we are pro-informed choice and transparency.
If only we knew then what we know now.
If you think you or your loved one is having difficulty with medication.....you are probably right. You can find lots of useful information and help on the RxISK website.
Speak with your GP, be firm with your feelings.
If this post can help at least one family from avoiding the absolute carnage that our family has suffered then we can take some comfort in knowing Stephen’s Voice lives on
*******************************************************
Please follow Stephen’s Voice for more information on adverse reactions to SSRIs and other medications
