Using research based psychology techniques to help people stop smoking, overcome fears and phobias, resolve anxiety, heal sex issues and gain confidence.
Using hypnotherapy and cognitive belief work to help resolve anxiety, nervousness, performance nerves, sexual problem and stop smoking. Therapy Sessions €80 / hour. Stop smoking single visit 90 min session €250.
Do 1 thing...often - for real change.
We're at the time when it's common to be considering the changes we'd like to make in 2019. Most resolutions are broken within weeks of making them. So maybe instead of having grand plans we can learn from the past and aim instead for 1 small change or practice that's easy to learn and implement that will - if done consistently over the year bring about real dividends.
Self hypnosis, gratitude journalling, breath practices, stretching, daily walks, aiming for better food choices, affirmations, less TV/screen time, more connection with real people, volunteering, pursuing a hobby and so on - are all easy enough to learn and implement.
Pick one and stick to it.
I often recommend the Wim Hof breathing practice. It's well studied, simple, easy to learn and habituate into the day and really helps with stress. The video gives a nice overview.
Good health and happiness to you in 2019.
This episode is brought to you by Blinkist. Go to https://www.blinkist.com/nc/partners/tombilyeu/ to get unlimited access for 1 week to try it out! Wim Hof, ...
Wishing us all a peaceful Christmas and an enjoyable and hopeful new year.
If it is a challenging, sad or stressful few days then may it pass quickly with as little distress as possible and if it's a time of celebration then may we have a ball.
Either way - it will come and go, so be kind to ourselves and breathe.
Acknowledge these 3 things and you’re on the road to positive change.
When we are down more often than happy, struggling more often than thriving, stressed more often than relaxed then there are 3 steps that have to be taken before we get better.
We can take these steps consciously or unconsciously – to speed up recovery and progress it’s better acknowledge these 3 things consciously.
The 1st step is admit : “I have a problem”. It seems obvious that to resolve a problem it needs to be named and defined accurately. It takes courage to admit to having a problem and we have plenty of defences that stop us from admitting to ourselves that there is a problem so while it may be a simple step it’s not always an a easy one.
Step number 2 – admit: “My own skill set and resources has not been able to resolve this problem and are unlikely to”. This one requires honesty and humility, and it can be frightening to admit. However once admitted it opens us up to acquiring the knowledge needed to transform the problem. We can feel dejected and resent the effort that’s required or be scared so we resist admitting to it. We often spend far too much time and effort trying to solve a problem without adequate information – admitting that we haven’t yet got the correct help required can spare us another round of disappointment.
Step number 3 – admit: “With the correct skills or resources this problem could be solved”. If I learned something, applied something, got assistance, modelled myself on someone else who got through this – it is possible for me to get through it too. Therefore I can ask ‘who/what can help here’ and now I’m on the road to recovery.
Anyone familiar with AA will recognise these three steps and pretty much what they teach. But the steps can be applied to any problem not just alcoholism.
Wishing us all a direct, honest and speedy way through to a better feeling life.
If my skill set is what would help give me a call.
087 2201 453
How heavy use of social media is linked to mental illness.
How do we win when we are up against ourselves?
A month has passed since the beginning of the year, and if statistics are to be trusted most who resolved to change in 2018 – those who whole heartedly, defiantly, committed to change – have already broken their resolutions. This is not an indication that people are weak willed, lacking some moral fibre or don’t really want to change, as is often assumed. No, it simply indicates that we are emotionally invested in keeping things the way they are (so as to avoid some greater pain associated with the change). This is an unconscious emotional dynamic and we are often left scratching our heads not having any idea about what the reason might be or we deny that there could even be a reason that makes sense emotionally and try once more to force our will on ourselves and make another resolution.
The problem is we are up against aspects of ourselves, and when will power is pitched against our unconscious emotional need to stay as we are – it’s only a matter of time before the unconscious need has its way.
Inner conflict is nothing new. We’ve know it all our lives. A part thinks we should study; a part wants to watch TV. A part desires the cake; another part wants to reduce our weight. A part wants to be reasonable with the kids a more angry part wants to yell. We can handle inner conflict to some degree, but when there is just no progress in the direction we have decided to go in and despite our best efforts we keep reverting back then it’s time to take a more focused – and often assisted – look at what is going on to resolve the push-pull.
I can help make it easier. It’s so different accomplishing a goal when all of ‘us’ is going in the same direction, working together and in agreement on the outcome.
Give me a shout if you’d like to talk about any inner conflict you are having problems with.
Have a good week,
087 2201 453
Christmas – a word and time that comes with many strong associations. Some love the season and all that comes with it. They experience profound feelings of warmth, fun, belonging and generosity. Others hate it. They experience profound feelings of loss, loneliness, stress and separation. And then there are those for whom Christmas is a mixed bag.
No matter what the expectation and then the actual experience of Christmas one thing is certain – “This too shall pass”. It will come and go.
We can use this truth to either savour what is being enjoyed knowing it will end or to endure what’s difficult knowing also it will end.
Christmas allows us to express our good nature. We wish people a lovely time and want them to be happy. We effort to include the excluded. We remember and attempt to alleviate someone’s suffering. It can also trigger our hurt and we end up expressing our pettiness, jealousy and resentments.
It can therefore be a time to face and heal old patterns and woundedness.
It can be what we decide for it to be. We are not passive victims to Christmas and all its associated meanings. We can use it to extend our kindness, express our joy and let go our hurts.
If we do that or we do none of that – it will still remain true ”this Christmas will pass” so please hang in there if you are hurting. It will pass - hurt can be resolved.
Wishing everyone peace, peace, peace.
A powerful subconscious mind trick to help us overcome and do what we want.
The subconscious mind is most impressionable during childhood. However studies in neuroplasticity have shown that the human brain remains programmable even in adulthood.
Both in childhood and adulthood our subconscious mind learns through 1) repetition 2) is conditioned through experiences that have significant emotional content for us growing up and 3) through trauma and risk it learns what to keep us safe from.
One of the main roles of the subconscious mind is to ensure our survival and well being at all times. It does this by pattern recognition: if this situation looks like a previous scary situation then we prepare to defend, avoid, run away, shut down or get aggressive.
However, sometimes it has learned to protect us from what is no longer dangerous or harmful. It does so because it once was dangerous to us (or seemed that way).
We may have had a neglectful parent and now we subconsciously avoid getting close to people. We may have had a frightening experience in a theme park and now can’t fly or are petrified of heights. We may have had a horrible class mate or teacher who ridiculed us and now can’t present or mingle easily.
The challenge is to re-frame what we have encountered in life that we don’t like, have learned is dangerous (but really isn’t) and that holds us back from fulfilling or potential in such a way that the subconscious mind doesn’t react with fear or attack, but instead works with us to attain our goal.
We achieve this by getting the protective response to work in our favour rather than against us. If the subconscious mind can be made to see how not doing what we want to do will be dangerous to our survival or wellbeing then we can get it on side.
Two easy ways to access the subconscious so that we can re-program it and solicit a favourable response is through 1) Curiosity and 2) emotion..... then repeat, repeat, repeat.
Template to use:
What if (Curiosity) I wasn’t so (state problem) about (state subject)
I wouldn’t be (state negative effects)
If I wasn’t (state negative effects) then I would (state benefits - especially any that pertain to security and survival)
If I was (state benefits) then I could (further benefits – emotionally invested)
By writing out these statements as it relates to our problem and then reading the statement again and again (while feeling the feelings) we can increase the chances of making a change and thus achieving what we want.
Example: I am negative and fearful of taking a flight.
What if I wasn’t so afraid and resistant about flying?
I wouldn’t be so acidic towards my husband, fell awkward and juvenile when the subject comes up, not go anywhere that exciting, lose sleep and have to be drugged to go, row and ruin my last few days before coming back.
If I wasn’t so stressed and negative then I would be in better form and better company around holiday time, be relaxed and normal in airports and get the most out of my holiday.
If I was relaxed and looking forward to flying then I could go to Rio – I always wanted to go there, hike the Canyon, see the world. I would feel like I’ve over come something and that feels triumphant. I would feel more in control, safe and secure. I could go for that promotion that requires business trips – earn more money.
What if I loved flying and got really excited about them? Hmmmm that would feel good, I’d feel powerful, capable, able and it would be fun.
Have fun with this and have a great week.
087 2201 453
I ask this of everyone I work with. People who can remember blushing embarrassingly in national school, now in their 20’s finally decide to do something about it. Why now?
Those who dreaded reading in class still hate presenting information in their companies come to me in their 30’s.
Those overweight for 15 years want to get in shape.
Commonly people don’t know the answer. They just get to a point when enough is enough and it’s time to do something about their anxieties, fears and problems.
Sometimes there is an event looming that they can’t avoid like a wedding or conference or promotion.
Sometimes it’s at the end of a phase of life: a break up, kids going to college, hitting a milestone birthday that prompts a need for change.
It’s called ‘readiness for change’ and it’s an important point to get to. Those who finally make change happen often wanted something different and suffered and complained for years.
They have been avoiding, worrying and enduring emotional pain and somehow get to a stage where not changing is no longer an option.
This point in a person’s life is auspicious. When we reach it, it is so important to act to harness the resolve and get support and guidance if necessary.
The mind likes the familiar – prefers it even when it’s painful over making change. Breakthroughs means ding something different. So to capitalise on the moment of readiness for change stack the odds in favour of succeeding; surround ourselves with like minded people to make progress, get support from books, therapists, coaches, mentors, motivational talks and so on. Get an ‘accountability buddy’ who can encourage and keep us on track.
Readiness for change is essential to make change happen. Yet, by itself it is not enough. After the straw that breaks the camel’s back comes the work of transformation. Often we need help with that part.
That said though those who genuinely get to the point where enough is enough – there’s no stopping them!
I find it a privilege to help people overcome problems like anxiety, fears, blushing, nervousness.
Feel free to drop me a line at [email protected] or call 087 2201 453 to drop in for a chat.
If not now – when?
Stop worrying and DO something about it!
That was the advice a friend told me when I was expressing my fear about not having a pension set up by my 40’s. It stopped me in my tracks and after a little bit of feeling confronted and called out on the obvious - all I could say is ‘you’re right’. It was so simple and direct and ultimately easy to put into place – and yet I missed the obvious.
Why? – because my story about ‘me’ and pensions went something like this: It’s boring, I don’t want to have to think about it, I’m no good at accounting stuff. My inner image and beliefs about handling finances were limited and therefore my actions (or more accurately lack of actions) followed my story about money.
This is true for all of us on every subject; as the saying goes “if you believe you can, or you believe you can’t – you’re right”.
Where ever we are stuck, worried or doing foolish things it’s because we’ve got some ideas that tell us: I’m to old, I’m too uneducated, I’m too nervous, They will laugh at me, I can’t, I’m not good enough to ___ (fill in the blank), I’ll fail, I’ll look stupid.
And because we feel in accordance to the way we think those ideas feel true. It takes someone else to point out what’s actually possible or it takes us becoming aware of our story – and then to see it as a story, not a fact, before we will question it and do something about ....our finances, our mood, our anger, our anxiety, our fear, our guilt, our relationships, our weight. Until that point we feel and believe ‘that’s just the way I am, or that’s just the way it is’.
Ask “What do I worry about”; and then stop worrying and DO something about it. The relief of putting a plan in action and making progress on the goal is great. When it came to pensions I didn’t know how to go about it – so I asked those that did and hired someone who could explain it to me.
Here some practical tips to stopping worry and doing something about the problem:
1) Clarify and write out the overall goal. In 5 years time when it’s achieved what is it like?
2) Depending on the goal – write out 3 milestone goals that, once achieved, indicate progress towards the overall goal.
3) Write out 5-7 actions for each of the milestone goals that will step you towards the milestone goal.
4) Work the plan – it stops the worry.
5) Celebrate the steps along the way.
If the worry is a limiting personal belief or the achievement of the goal requires support then that’s something I can help with.
It’s wonderful being part of liberating a person from their worries.
Feel free to drop me a line or call for a consultation.
087 2201 453
Stuck in a rut? Here’s how to get out...
We can define ‘stuck in a rut’ as any area of life we want to change but can’t seem to bring about that change. We want to lose weight but can’t seem to change our lifestyle habits. We want to progress in work but are afraid to speak up or put ourselves out there. We want to meet someone but feel too bad about ourselves and can’t handle another rejection.
If we lack motivation, courage, information as to how; if we are scared or embarrassed or frustrated going round in circles then what can be done about that?
First thing is to get clear on the ‘why’ we want this change – and make it as emotionally compelling as possible.
Two ways to look at this:
1) what will happen to me / my relationships / my health / my finances if I don’t make the change in 6 months time, 1 years time, 5 years time - THIS IS THE PAIN/COST of not changing and
2) what will it be like making progress towards changing and making the change for real in 6 months time, 1 years time, 5 years time - THIS IS THE BENEFIT/RESULT.
When we find a compelling and moving ‘why’ – we often find all the motivation necessary to change. It has to become a ‘must’ rather than a ‘nice to have’.
Then - get support.
Change means rewiring the brain so that we can be consistent and follow through on making our goal happen. We will be met with challenges and set backs. We will have to face fears and limitations head on and we will need to go beyond them. This is difficult, so respect the challenge for what it is and get support.
There are many means of support:
1) Write out the goal – in clear language as if it’s already achieved. Use emotional compelling language and images. Display the goal (e.g fridge, car visor) and pay attention to it, focus on it, tend to it....and take ACTION.
2) Use publically accountability. Record a video declaring the intention (e.g target weight, target for business and so on) and post it on social media. This has been proven to help people stay focused and incentivised to follow through on the goal.
3) Ask for higher help and surrender to a higher power i.e pray or we can think of it as our higher self, our transcendent self, angels etc. The act of faith in something greater than the problem being able to assist us to go beyond where we are stuck brings hope and belief when we lack it.
4) Get coached or therapy – a coach helps keep us on track, supports us through the tougher moments and works through the negative limitations holding us back. Change is usually quicker and easier with someone who can guide us through it.
5) Ask for help from friends and family.
6) Stack the odds in our favour by getting the environment (house, car, workplace) set up to succeed. Environment trumps will. Not having the option of icecream in the house is easier than trying to resist it. Keeping a gratitude journal of listed positive things helps when we are beset with self-doubt.
7) Read and study those who have achieved the goal/transformation – and then act, think, feel like they do. Mirror, mimic and follow them. If there is someone who can be shadowed then do that.
8) Watch, read and listen to inspirational and motivational documentaries, books, stories and so on. And then take ACTION!
9) Join a meet up group or other appropriate group that will support.
So to get out of the rut:
1) find out why we MUST change
2) respect the challenge for what it is and
3) get support.
It’s my pleasure to facilitate change work, so for those who feel stuck in a rut please feel free to contact me and we can see about un-sticking that.
Change is easier that many think.
Wishing you a lovely week.
087 2201 453
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The Irish Council for Psychotherapy represents over 1,500 psychotherapists in Ireland, who practise in a number of different sub-disciplines.
Therapeutic Services Offered: Abuse, Anger Management, Anxiety, Bereavement, Depression, Eating Disorders, General Counselling, Health Related Issues.
Professional Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy practice helping individuals and couples with a wide range of issues with effective and consistent results.
Counselling, Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, Coaching, Workshops & Classes. Sessions by appointment only.
Marcello Massaro, Reg. Clinical Psychol., Ps.S.I. and Psychotherapist
Fully Accredited Counsellor, MIACP. I run a growing private practice in the heart of Dublin city. I specialise in Gender & Sexual Diversity, Trauma and Sexual Violence. I’m a Group Facilitator, Trainer and Volunteer with GaySwitchboardIre, member of Ge
Psychotherapy practice located in the heart of Dublin city centre, Brendan is a psychoanalytical psychotherapist.
Offering positive psychology training to state and corporate bodies and private psychological assessments (personal injury and suitability for adoption)
Aurora Counselling Ireland helps deal with issues such as depression, anxiety & panic attacks, bereavement & loss, relationship problems and addiction.
My name is Ger Griffin.I am a fully qualified hynotherapist & psychotherapist based in dublin4. I treat General anxiety/panic attacks,depression.tinnitus.
Aria Therapy is a highly skilled Counselling & Holistic Healing service. We work to the highest standards to ensure our client’s Healing & Well-being.
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