09/10/2025
There’s a well-known fact in psychotherapy:
sometimes people use s*x as a substitute
for other deep emotional needs —
like love, closeness, self-worth, acceptance, care, and more.
In such cases, the original motivations and goals get blurred or replaced.
People might enter s*xual relationships to feel loved or needed.
Or use s*x as a way to prove something —
to a partner, to society, or even to themselves.
Often, s*x becomes a way to avoid difficult emotions —
a shortcut into intimacy
that helps bypass uncomfortable conversations or intense feelings.
Sometimes, when there’s no emotional warmth,
it feels like physical closeness can fill the gap.
And it can create the illusion of love or perfect compatibility.
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Let’s talk today about emotional intimacy.
Imagine this:
Person 1 is emotionally starved — craving connection.
Person 2 is somehow perceived (consciously or not) as someone who might fulfill this need.
You sit face to face.
A desire for closeness arises —
to show yourself, to express a need.
Tension builds.
But instead of clearly identifying the need and how to meet it…
➡️ the moment gets redirected into s*x.
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When emotional hunger is intense,
and the energy between two people is overwhelming,
there are usually 4 possible outcomes:
1. Escape — physically or emotionally withdraw, reject, avoid, push away, act out.
2. Freeze — stay present but disconnected: shut down, go silent, make a “stone face,” feel intense inner tension or shaking.
3. Stay in contact — remain emotionally engaged, identify the real need, and explore how it can be met.
4. S*x — merge physically as a way to release tension and feel closeness.
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This is how we can confuse:
❤️ affection with desire,
💔 the need to rebuild trust with a s*xual impulse,
🎁 s*x with love, care, or attention.
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So yes —
s*x isn’t always just about s*x.
(Though sometimes it is, of course.)
💬 Tune in to yourself.
Check in.
Ask:
“What am I really needing right now?”
Because what you’re looking for
might not be in their body —
but in their heart.
