21/06/2025
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When we experience loss, our bodies need to grieve.
We need to feel the feelings associated with the loss as a way to process it. This is how we respect ourselves & honor our relationship to the separation, the loss. How we move through it & learn how to begin moving forward.
But, societally, we are so uncomfortable with people not feeling 'good' that we try to rush ourselves & others through this process by “making them feel better.”
By encouraging distraction & disconnection from what their bodies are telling them they need.
While it’s often well-intentioned, and is needed at moments (and is what we’ve learned from our families & culture), it can also be invalidating & disruptive; it often doesn’t respect the space the person is in.
It doesn’t allow the grief to be processed.
It has more to do with our discomfort than the actual needs of the person doing the grieving.
This also goes for any other unpleasant emotion - we often struggle to allow people to just be where they are so they can sit with what is.
Those feelings exist for a reason.
They let us know about our needs for safety & connection. About unresolved wounds that need our tender care & attention. They signal to us when we need to replenish our energy stores, and they help us protect what we don’t want to give.
Collectively, we need to learn how to better sit with emotional discomfort. Being compassionately present to this discomfort allows us to develop the resilience to move through moments of adversity - and life WILL be full of challenging periods and moments.
And when you get better at gently sitting with your own discomfort and listening to your own deeper needs, you intuitively get better at extending the same supportive grace to others. It’s the sort of ripple that will change your friendships, your family system, and even your community.
If you're interested in learning more about this, I'm starting a new cycle of my year long program in September, working with Cycle Breakers - those who are working to heal and shift old patterns, and are looking to practice new ways of relating to self & others in a small group of like-minded people.
Sign up at the link below:
https://theeqschool.myflodesk.com/fb4ux9zhce
