13/05/2025
Strength and Safety: Holding Space for Both
When we talk to young people about their painful and distressing experiences, or when we speak to the child inside adult survivors, we can honor both their strength and their need for safety by:
* Naming Both Truths: Acknowledge the ways they’ve had to be strong while also validating that they shouldn’t have had to be. “You learned to survive things no one should have to endure. You’re strong, but you also deserved to feel safe.”
* Inviting Compassion for Themselves: Encourage them to hold compassion for both the powerful self they became and the child who still needs gentleness. “You’re allowed to be proud of how you got through it and still grieve what was lost.”
* Normalizing Complex Feelings: Create space for the contradictions. “It’s okay to feel strong and hurt at the same time. Both are real, and both deserve to be heard.”
* Using Grounding Language: Offer grounding reminders that affirm their worth in the present. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. Right now, it’s okay to just be here and be cared for.”
Yes, our traumas may have shaped us, made us stronger, taught us things we never wanted to learn. But we can hold space for that growth without denying the truth: we shouldn’t have had to learn those lessons in the first place.
Stacy Kaiser’s words resonate deeply:
"But it made you stronger."
I was a child.
I didn't need to be stronger.
I needed to be safe."
Let’s honor both – the strength that was gained and the safety that was deserved. 💛
Credits: Stacy Kaiser, Thinking Minds
