Tender Roots Speech & Language Therapist Kilkenny & Laois

15/11/2025

This week we are thinking about speech sounds!

There are many processes a child needs to work through when they are struggling with a sound, from building their awareness of it, to saying it in isolation, through to being able to use the sound correctly in a conversation. This diagram depicts the 'steps to super speech' – remember it can take some time to move up the steps!

10/11/2025

🎄✨ As the Christmas season kicks into full swing, we want to remind our wonderful customers about our Autism-Friendly Shopping Hours.

🕘 Every Tuesday morning | 9am – 11am

A quieter, more comfortable shopping experience for everyone. Thank you for being mindful and helping us make the season joyful for all! 💛

07/11/2025

Im writing a report thats making me both sad and angry. Harry is a four-year-old boy who started school in September. He is autistic, with high sensory sensitivities.

School is too noisy. Too crowded. Too unpredictable. He doesn’t understand what’s going on.

So — he bites. He hits. He kicks. He spits.
He’s not being “naughty”. He’s trying to survive.

His world at school feels overwhelming. The lights are bright. Chairs scrape. Voices echo. Children rush past him in a blur. His brain can’t filter or prioritise — everything comes in at once.

And because he experiences the world through monotropism — that intense, focused way of thinking and feeling — sudden transitions feel unbearable. When he’s deeply immersed in one activity, being told to stop and move to another is like being yanked out of a warm bath into a snowstorm.

His body reacts before his words can form. That’s not defiance — it’s distress.

Yet adults might say, “He needs to make good choices.” Or, “He has to apologise for hurting people.”

But how can he “make good choices” when his nervous system is in survival mode? When he’s overloaded, confused, and scared? Expecting logical reflection from a dysregulated child is not fair — it’s like asking someone to swim while they’re drowning. Hs behaviour is a nueral response, not under hos cognitive control.

He doesn’t need consequences.
He needs connection.
He doesn’t need a lecture.
He needs safety, understanding, and co-regulation.

When we start from compassion — when we understand why behaviour happens — we stop seeing a “problem child” and start seeing a child with problems he cannot yet express.

22/10/2025

“We Don’t See It in School”

I’ve written before about how a child’s life is 24 hours, not just the six or seven hours they spend in school. What happens outside of school affects how they cope inside of school. And yet, we still hear it:

“We don’t see it in school.”

We know the sensory load of the school day is heavy. The constant noise, transitions, social demands, uniforms, rules, and the sheer effort of keeping it all together. It’s no wonder so many children experience “after-school collapse.” The mask slips the moment they feel safe, and the dysregulation pours out.

But here’s the bigger issue: what happens when parents share this with school and feel they’re not believed? When they describe meltdowns, sobbing, rage, exhaustion — only to be told their child is “fine” because none of it happens in school.

A couple of weeks ago, I sat with a sobbing Number 4, who started riding club the following day. For those who’ve followed me a while, you’ll know she’s an accomplished rider. We have our own horse. She knows the graft that goes into mucking out, grooming, and riding. She loves it.

And yet, the thought of the following day brought her to tears. Not because of the riding, but because of everything around it:

• The terror of going to a different stable with a new horse.

• Not knowing when to change into her riding gear.

• The fear of missing a minibus she doesn’t know how to find.

• The anxiety of what happens if the bus leaves without her.

At school that morning, her tutor will probably have seen a calm and compliant child. Maybe a little tearful, but still holding it together. They won’t have seen what I saw that night.

They won’t have seen the girl who sobbed over a maths question marked wrong when it was actually right.

They won’t have seen the overwhelm of having to change clothes four times on a Friday (yes, four!).

They won’t have seen the fear of returning to class late after a doctor’s appointment, or the way she ruminates about the injustice of collective punishments.

I see the exhaustion, the meltdowns, the fear, the anger.
School sees the mask.

And this is why, as a SENCo, I will always believe parents. Always.

Because why wouldn’t I? Believing parents builds trust. It helps me understand the whole child. It allows us to problem-solve together, to try strategies at both school and home that might reduce the after-school collapse.

To dismiss what happens after 3.30pm as “not our business” is not only unhelpful — it’s unsafe. My safeguarding training is crystal clear: what happens at home matters if it affects a child’s wellbeing or a family’s stability.

So next time you hear yourself thinking “but we don’t see it in school,” pause. The child’s calm exterior may simply mean they’re working ten times harder to keep it all in. The reality often shows itself in the one place they feel safest: home.

And parents deserve to be believed.

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️

Photo: Number 3 clearly finding Number 1’s book far more interesting than his own.

18/10/2025

💞 When a new baby joins the family, everyone adjusts — not just Mom and Dad.

Bringing home a new sibling is such a beautiful season… but it’s also a big change for everyone — especially older brothers and sisters. 💕

Suddenly, their world looks different — they might be excited one moment and clingy or emotional the next. Totally normal! 🩵

Here are a few gentle ways to help siblings adjust:

👶 Involve them early – Let them help pick out a baby outfit, read to the bump, or help prepare the nursery.

💬 Talk about what’s coming – Share what newborn life looks like (“Babies cry, sleep a lot, and need help eating — but you’ll get lots of special time too”).

🫶 Keep connection moments – Even a few minutes of one-on-one time makes a world of difference.

🎉 Include them in caring for the baby – Let them bring a diaper, sing to the baby, or help pick a lullaby.

💗 Validate their feelings – It’s okay if they feel jealous or sad. Acknowledging it helps them feel safe and heard.

This transition is full of emotions — and that’s okay. Families don’t just grow in size — they grow in love, too. 🌿

—
✨ Supporting families through these tender transitions is one of my favorite parts of this work. You’ve got this — and your little ones will find their new rhythm too.

✨ It wasn’t too long ago that my family experienced these changes as well. Those moments will always hold a special place in my heart ❤️

12/10/2025

"There was a day I walked into my girl’s room and two sisters were cuddled around a sobbing third.

They looked me in the eyes and told me she had something to say. When she couldn’t stop crying to tell me, I asked whether she was okay with her sisters saying it. She was. My middle girl looked at me with sympathy and love (she is a future psychologist, and I swear she was born for it) and said, “Mom, she isn’t eating. She can’t. We are pretty sure she has an eating disorder. She said she tried to fix it and just can’t do it. We have to get her help.”

Suddenly we were called to fight against an invisible monster whispering in my girl’s ears that she wasn’t good enough. I knew social media was bombarding these kids with all the messages about how they are not good enough just as they are. But I had told my kids for years and years, “You are as God made you. You are beautiful and perfect in His image.” I tried not to make food a thing, and I didn’t talk about dieting or working out in front of them.

And still, the one thing my kids heard was that invisible monster whispering to them that they needed to make themselves smaller. Now, there were many complex reasons we ended up in this spot— things having to do with control and their place in the world. It was all complicated and hard, and we needed professional people to help us untangle it.

It was hard to share. But when we did, we found out we were not alone. So many others were struggling with this alongside us.

Our world is broken, but so often we feel like we cannot admit being broken ourselves. I have found this to be true when other people whisper to me about their struggles and when I struggle to share my own.

Why are we like this?

We think we are living completely abnormal broken lives, yet everyone’s life is broken in some way. By its very definition, this means it is completely normal to live a broken life. We are humans. We break easily in our bodies, our minds, and our hearts.

And for some reason, we want to give awards to people who don’t break— or at least who pretend they don’t break. And we all chase it.

In the meantime, we hide our brokenness from one another and are lonely and miserable, and we shush our children, telling them not to say a thing about their own brokenness, making the next generation feel this same way.

I am here to tell you that it is okay to be broken.

It is okay to talk about being broken. It is okay for our kids to be broken. It is okay for our kids to talk about being broken. And in that moment in the bedroom, this is what I told my kids.

Brokenness is normal, and when it happens, we need to find out why and not ignore any of it. I tell them this as I drag them to therapy. I will no more ignore the pains of their minds and souls than I will of their bellies or their throats.

I will not tell them to suck it up. I will not let them hide from the pain. I will not let them for one moment think they are abnormal weirdos for the pains of their minds and hearts and souls.

They are gloriously human, and they are feeling all their feels, just as they should.

They can be both broken and whole. Because the only way to be whole is to accept your brokenness."

-excerpt from You’ll Make It (and They Will Too): Everything No One Talks About When Parenting Teens Chapter 12: When Your Teen Struggles With Mental Health

09/10/2025

09/10/2025

Imagine

Imagine you’re born into this world, innocent, curious with a way of thinking slightly different to the ‘norm’

Imagine you spend years unaware of any differences, full of energy and curiosity, loving and embracing your life

Imagine starting off having friends, who although different to you, don’t judge, don’t see it and just accept you as you are

Imagine as suddenly you get older, things start to change, even though you are doing nothing different, you are still just being you

Imagine suddenly your friends look at you differently, start to exclude you, they now avoid you for who you are

Imagine the confusion when your ‘best friend’ starts mocking your ways, your interests… your looks

Imagine being told how ugly you are, and at age 10 questioning whether you deserve to live

Imagine trying to get your head around the confusion of patterns of complete rejection, then acceptance, then ignoring.. back to rejection

Imagine dealing with this for years, struggling to understand why and being on the edge of being broken, many times

Imagine seeing light at the end of the tunnel, as you come to the end of one journey, to start another with hope

Imagine you start your new journey, and start to make connections again, you start to smile and even laugh again

Imagine your world then comes crashing down, with unexpected challenges that come with missing school and stop you from being able to join in

Imagine missing all those crucial early days in your new journey, attending medical appointments, undergoing surgery and dealing with uncertainty and ongoing pain

Imagine finding out in that surgery that there are more complex concerns at play, and that you now have to be seen in bigger hospitals, that bring fear and trigger trauma

Imagine carrying all this, and you try to go back to school, only to find your ‘new buddies’ have quickly moved on

Imagine trying to reconnect, trying to join in.. to be ignored, excluded.. again

Imagine trying to figure out in your pre adolescent brain what you have done wrong, how you are still the same but it has all changed.. again

Imagine trying to deal with the confusion, the hurt, the rejection… again

Imagine sitting by yourself at every break, watching other people, talk and play.. again

Imagine realising you need to find all the strength and courage you can muster to not be broken.. once again

💙💙💙

Parents, please can we start talking to our kids.. and especially our boys.. about differences.. and about kindness. Please can we start communicating that people can be different- and that’s ok. The world is full of differences, which is a wonderful thing- not something to be shamed or broken.

Some of these ‘different’ kids are the most loyal, magical and caring kids you will come across but if their differences rule them out as a friend, absolutely no problem- but one can still be kind, courteous and decent. If a child chooses not to seek certain kids out, or spend time with them, that is absolutely understandable. I am not asking for forced friendships or anything over and above a bit of human decency. You don’t have to be friends with the different kids, the ones who don’t align with your ways, thoughts, interests..but please be kind, please be decent.. put yourselves in their shoes for one day and imagine what it would be like to be the child in all this. Please understand the damage that is being done otherwise, which at the end of the day is the part of all of this that is absolutely not acceptable… Please 🙏🏻

06/10/2025

30/09/2025

Couldn’t agree more! 👏🏻💙