15/04/2024
Grief is a universal experience; however, it is a topic that people are uncomfortable with. When we muster the strength to share our experience with someone, it is often minimised, brushed aside, or greeted with insensitive remarks. Consequently, we don’t feel like there is a safe place to express and honour our grief. We feel vulnerable, raw, and alone, as we suffer in silence. The world keeps moving and we feel the pressure; the external force that tells us to get up and go, even when we are in despair. We know that if we take time to rest and mourned we will be questioned and shamed that we cannot “get over it” within the timeframe that society deems acceptable. So, we do what our external world tells us, “ Get up and go.” This method, however, does not work long-term. The more you try to suppress and control it, the stronger it becomes.
I thank Dr. Melissa Delgado-Flint (one of my favourite professors, who is also on the board for the Miss Foundation) for helping us understand, name, and honour our grief. Also, sharing a beautiful poem that resonated with me.
On those days
when you miss someone the most
as though your memories
are sharp enough
to slice through skin and bone
remember how they loved you.
Remember how they loved you
and do that
for yourself.
In their name
in their honour.
Love yourself
as they loved you.
They would like that.
On those days
when you miss someone the most
love yourself harder.
-Donna Ashworth
