Aim to Grow Counselling Service

09/02/2024

01/02/2024

This is amazing

01/02/2024

01/02/2024

This is good to know!

01/02/2024

😍

08/11/2023

I love hugs 🫂. But I do think it's important to recognise that not everyone does. Some children don't like or enjoy hugs so it's nice to ask for permission first.

08/11/2023

Kids are often blamed for being emotionally dysregulated and partly for good reason. While children's brains are developing they physically can't manage big emotions. But so often children are singled out for having emotional melt-downs when parents are completely losing control of their own emotions too. It's easy to blame the child as we as parents can feel justified in losing control because kids can be so frustrating. Lets face it, nobody can push your buttons like your child. The problem is, if we lose control of our emotions when our kids are out of control, then we set up a culture of dysregulation. Emotions feed off emotions, so if we are going to bring calm we need to learn to regulate ourselves.

More information on my blog:
https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/creating-a-self-regulated-family

Link in bio

11/08/2023

What does gaslighting sound like?

31/05/2023

Surely we have to punish our kids? If we don't, they will become spoiled brats right? Wrong. This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions in parenting. Psychologists over the years haven't helped with this belief. The focus of behaviour change in the past, has been on rewards and punishments. Our whole society is built on this way of thinking. If we speed in our car and get caught, we get punished with a fine. Of course we have to have rules but does the punishment actually work? If you think about speeding, my guess is that you have driven over the speed limit before. If you see a police car, you probably put your foot on the break and slow down (even if you weren't speeding). But when the police car is out of sight your speed will go back up. If you get fined, you probably won't speed for a while, but eventually you will speed again. The need to follow that rule hasn't been internalised, you only follow the rules when the "punisher" (police) is there. The same is true with our kids, they will avoid the behaviour while you (the "punisher") is there, but if they are only stopping to avoid the punishment then they will do it when you aren't there.

More information on my blog:

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/why-punishment-doesn-t-work-and-what-does

Link in bio

15/05/2023

The first thing we need to do is help calm. The brain can’t think and it definitely can’t learn if they are distressed. You know your child and what will work to help them calm, it might be a hug or letting them sit away from everyone. The most important thing is that they need a calm adult with them. We know that nervous systems will “mirror” those around them, they will literally match the arousal level of others. This is why it is so important that we remain calm. You could try doing some controlled breathing with your child. If they don’t want to do it, then you do it, it will still help.

More information on my blog

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/managing-separation-anxiety

15/04/2023

Ah adorable delievery from Amazon. I open it up and I'm greeted with this ❤

05/04/2023

Putting this back on the feed because it 's lovely and important to remember


・・・
🪴’I am not sad, it’s just that sadness is on me for a while’.
——
Beautiful words by:
Found via: ❤️
Note:
——

05/04/2023

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

Jung, C. and Jaffe, A., 1989. Memories, dreams, reflections. New York: Vintage Books, p.247